“Got twitchy when I couldn’t find you.” Ben leaned against the doorjamb watching her.
The idea he went hunting made her heart go a little wild. “Were you afraid I left the building? Because I’m not even sure that’s possible.”
“I was more worried I’d get stuck sleeping alone.” He stepped into the room and stood next to her, facing the mirror above the dresser. “For the record, that would be a very bad thing.”
“Tragic even.”
“I agree.” He folded his hand over hers and wove their fingers together. “How are you really doing?”
“My crazy is showing.”
“The shirts?” He flipped through them with his other hand. “You can touch my clothes, my stuff—me—anytime.”
“This sort of thing doesn’t scare you?”
“Having someone try to kidnap you scares me.” He lifted their clasped hands and kissed the back of hers. “Watching you overcome what haunts you fills me with nothing but awe. You impress the hell out of me.”
Sweet-talking hottie.
He let go of her hand and his palm went to the side of her face. “Does the organizing help?”
“Still shaky.” But the touching had her mind switching gears to much more interesting topics. Being close to him, smelling him, watching him, it all calmed her nerves.
“I’d be worried if you were fine with all of this.”
She could take anything. She’d learned that a year ago. She survived. But... “You almost died.”
She clamped her mouth shut to keep the strangled sob from escaping her throat. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him sliding across the floor. If he’d been hit, if she’d seen him go down... A dark, suffocating curtain fell over her at the thought.
She didn’t know when or how he’d come to matter so much, but he had. Even when she’d pushed him away and given him every reason to move on to any of the other fifteen nurses who eyed him up, he’d never given up on getting to know her. He’d never gone for someone who might be easier to win over. And now he refused to walk away when any smart man would.
He turned her until they stood face-to-face and his hands massaged her upper arms. “I could have gotten hit, but I didn’t. Focus on the latter.”
The strength. She had no idea where he found it. He kept calling up reserves and never swayed. She envied that even keel.
But truth was he’d been sliced and shot and now almost killed because of her. “How can you look at it that way? Just shrug it off like the danger almost doesn’t matter?”
“There isn’t another way to move on.”
She didn’t wait for him to draw her close. She stepped into the circle of his arms and rested her hands against his muscled chest. “You got lucky and you wouldn’t have needed to if I hadn’t insisted on going to the bank.”
“Whoa, back up.” His fingers threaded through her hair and tipped her head back as his gaze searched her face. “Don’t take that on.”
“It was my fault and—”
A lingering kiss stopped her sentence. “I agreed you should go to the bank. Connor and Joel agreed. We own that blame.”
“Because I insisted.” His smile caught her off guard. “What?”
“Don’t get all feisty on me when I say this, but we wouldn’t have gone if I didn’t want to.”
“Because you’re such a big, tough macho man.” She snorted as she said it to let him know she wasn’t buying the he-man act. “Oh, please.”
“Do you forget I carry a gun?”
“Never.” Seeing it used to touch off a strangling panic. Now, knowing he controlled his anger and could handle his weapon, never turning it on her, she felt nothing but safe.
“While I admit I am no match for you when you pile on the charm and insist on getting your own way—”
Okay, now, that was ridiculous. She laughed. “When has that ever happened between us?”
“Even you could not topple the joint pressure of me, Connor and Joel.” Ben’s firm tone never wavered.
“You’re saying you could have said no to me today?” That was not the way she remembered the conversation.
“I’m saying we’re all grown-ups. The visit should have been fine and the fact it wasn’t is one more piece of the puzzle.”
Relief tumbled through her, erasing all those rough edges of guilt. She dropped her forehead to his impressive shoulder. “Dealing with this is so exhausting, and that’s coming from a woman who is used to working brutal twelve-hour shifts on her feet.”
“Hmm.” That husky voice vibrated against her ear.