Wallbanger (Cocktail 1)

“So, are we gonna address the elephant in the room here?” Ryan asked, drawing his knees up and placing his beer on the bench next to him.

“Which elephant would that be?” I asked sweetly, sipping my wine.

“Oh, please—the fact that the guy thumping the headboard off your bed is the hottie across the way, girl!” Mimi squealed, almost tossing her drink in Neil’s face. He laughed along with her, but pried the glass out of her hand before she could do any real damage.

“There really isn’t anything to talk about,” Simon said. “I have a new neighbor. Her name is Caroline. That’s it.” He nodded, eyeing me across the fire. I raised my eyebrow and sipped my wine.

“Yeah, it’s nice to know Pink Nightie Girl has a name. The way he described you…wow! I wasn’t sure you were real, but you’re as hot as he said you were!” Neil hooted at me appreciatively, trying for a moment to fist bump Simon through the flames before he realized how hot they were.

My eyes shot to Simon. He grimaced at the description. Interesting…

“So, you were the guys banging back at us tonight? Listening to the Guns N’ Roses?” Sophia asked, nudging Ryan.

“You were the girls singing along, I suppose, yes?” He nudged back, smiling.

“Small world, isn’t it?” Mimi sighed, gazing up at Neil. He winked at her, and I saw quickly where this was going. She had her giant, Sophia had her pretty boy, and I had my wine. Which was disappearing by the second.

“Excuse me,” I muttered and stood up to find a waiter.

I made my way through the dwindling crowd, nodding at a few faces I recognized. I accepted yet another glass of wine and strolled back outside. I’d started back toward the fire pit when I heard Mimi say, “And you should have heard Caroline when she told us about the night she banged on his door.”

Sophia and Mimi leaned together and said breathlessly, “He…was…still…hard!”

They all dissolved into laughter. I needed to remember to kill those girls tomorrow, with pain.

I groaned at my public humiliation and spun around to stomp off into the gardens when I saw Simon in the shadows. I tried to back away before he saw me, but he waved.

“Come on, come on, I don’t bite,” he scoffed.

“Yeah, sure, I guess,” I answered, walking toward him.

We stood quietly in the night. I looked out over the bay, enjoying the silence. Then he finally spoke.

“So I was thinking, since we’re neighbors and all—” he started.

I turned to look at him. He was giving me a sexy little grin, and I knew that’s what he used to make the panties drop. Ha—little did he know I wasn’t wearing any.

“You were thinking what? That I’d want to join you some night? See what all the fuss is about? Hop on the welcome wagon? Honey, I have no interest in becoming one of your girls,” I answered, glaring at him.

He said nothing.

“Well?” I asked, tapping my foot angrily. The nerve of this guy…

“Actually, I was going to say, since we’re neighbors and all, maybe we could call a truce?” he said quietly, looking at me in a very irritated way.

“Oh,” I said. It was all I could say.

“Or maybe not,” he finished and started to walk away.

“Wait, wait, wait, Simon,” I groaned grabbing him by the wrist as he pushed past me.

He stood there, glaring.

“Yes. Fine. We can call a truce. But there will have to be some ground rules,” I replied, turning to face him. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I should warn you now, I don’t enjoy women telling me what to do,” he answered darkly.

“Not from what I’ve heard,” I said under my breath, but he caught it anyway.

“That’s different,” he said, the cockiness beginning to reappear.

“Okay, here’s the thing. You enjoy yourself, do your thing, hang from the ceiling fans, I don’t care. But late at night? Can we keep it down to a dull roar? Please? I gotta get some sleep.”

He considered for a moment. “Yes, I can see where that might be a problem. But you know, you don’t really know anything about me, and you certainly don’t know anything about me and my ‘harem,’ as you call it. I don’t have to justify my life, or the women in it, to you. So no more nasty judgments, agreed?”

I considered it. “Agreed. By the way, I appreciated the quiet this week. Something happen?”

“Happen? What do you mean?” he asked as we walked back to the group.

“I thought maybe you were injured in the line of duty, like your dick broke off or something,” I joked, proud to use my zinger again.

“Unbelievable. That’s all you think I am, isn’t it?” he retorted, his face angry again.

“A dick? Yes, in fact,” I snapped back.

“Now look—” he started, and Neil appeared out of nowhere.

“Nice to see you two have kissed and made up,” he chided, pretending to hold Simon back.

“Can it, anchorman,” Simon muttered as the rest of the newly paired-off reappeared.

“Cool it with the anchorman, huh?” Neil said, and Sophia whirled on him.

“Anchorman! Wait a minute, you’re the local sports guy on NBC, right? Am I right?” she asked.

I watched his eyes light up. Sophia may have been a classical music kind of girl, but she was also a huge 49ers fan. I was pretty sure the 49ers were a football team.

“Yeah, that’s me. You watch a lot of sports?” he asked, leaning toward her, bringing Mimi along. The way she was clinging to his arm, it was unavoidable. She stumbled a little, and Ryan swooped in to steady her. They smiled at each other as Sophia and Neil continued their football talk. I coughed, reminding them that I was, in fact, still here.

“Caroline, we’re taking off!” Sophia giggled, now leaning on Ryan’s arm. I glared at Simon one more time and stalked toward the girls.

“That’s good. I’ve had enough fun for tonight. I’ll call for the car, and we can head out in a few,” I replied, reaching into my bag for my phone.

“Actually, Neil was telling us about this great little bar, and we were going to go that way. Do you two want to come?” Mimi interrupted, stopping my hand. She squeezed it, and I saw her shake her head almost imperceptibly.

“No?” I asked, raising both eyebrows.

“Great! Ol’ Wallbanger here’ll make sure you get home okay,” Neil said, clapping Simon roughly on the back.

“Yeah, sure,” he said through clenched teeth.

Before I could even blink, the four of them were on their way to the hillevator, saying sloppy goodbyes to Benjamin and Jillian, who just laughed and shared a high five.

Wallbanger and I stared at each other, and I suddenly felt exhausted. “Truce?” I said tiredly.

“Truce,” he said, nodding.

We left the party together. We drove back across the bridge, with the late-night fog and silence enveloping us. He’d opened the door for me when I approached the Rover, probably some ingrained training from his mother. His hand had rested on the small of my back as I climbed in, and then it was gone and he was around to his side before I even had a chance to make a snarky remark. Maybe it was best; we had called a truce. The second truce within the span of mere minutes. This was going to end badly, I could tell. Still, I would try. I could be neighborly, right?

Neighborly. Ha. That kiss was all kinds of neighborly. I was trying as hard as I could not to think about it, but it just kept bubbling up. I pressed my fingers to my lips without even realizing it, remembering the feeling of his mouth on mine. His kiss was almost a dare, calling my bluff—a promise of what would follow if I allowed it.

My kiss? Straight up instinct that frankly surprised me. Why had I kissed him? I had no idea, but I did. It must have looked ridiculous. I’d slapped him, then kissed him like some scene from an old Cary Grant movie. I’d thrown my entire body into my kiss, letting my soft places curve against his strong. My mouth had sought his, and his kiss had grown as eager as mine. There was no fairy tale music, but there was something there. And it had quickly hardened against my thigh…

His messing about with the radio brought me back to the present. He appeared quite focused on the music as we drove across the bridge, which made me quite nervous.

“Can I help you with that? Please?” I asked, looking nervously at the water below.

“No thanks, I got it,” he said, glancing at me. He must have noticed the way I was peering over the side of the bridge, and he chuckled. “Okay, sure, go ahead. I mean, you knew every word to ‘Welcome to the Jungle,’ so you might pick out something good,” he challenged.

He returned his eyes to the road, but even from the side, I could see the approving grin. Which, and I hated to admit it, made his jaw look like it had been chiseled out of the hottest piece of granite ever unearthed.

“I’m sure I can find something,” I sassed, reaching over his hand and leaning toward him. His hand grazed against the side of my breast, and we both flinched. “What, you tryin’ to cop a feel there?” I snapped, selecting a song.

“Did you or did you not just place your tits in the path of my hand?” he sniped back.

“I think your hand just moved in front of the girls’ trajectory, but don’t sweat it. You’re hardly the first that these celestial beings have brought into their orbit.” I sighed dramatically, looking at him sideways to see if he could tell I was joking. The corner of his mouth rose into a grin, and I allowed myself a small smile as well.

“Yes, celestial. That’s the word I was going to use—as in, not of this earth. As in, suspended in the heavens. As in, courtesy of Victoria’s Secret.” He grinned, and I pretended to be shocked.

“Oh my, you know of the Secret? And here I thought we silly girls had you all fooled.” I laughed and settled back into my seat. We’d crossed the bridge and now returned to the city.

“It takes a lot to fool me, especially when it comes to the opposite sex,” he replied, as the music came on. He nodded at my choice. “Too Short? Interesting selection. Not many women would have chosen this,” he mused.

“What can I say? I’m feeling very Bay Area tonight. And I should tell you now, I am not like most women,” I added, feeling another smile sneak across my face.

“I’m beginning to get that,” he said.

We were quiet for a few minutes, then suddenly both started to speak at once.

“So what do you think about—” I began.

“Can you believe that they all—” he said.

“Go ahead.” I chuckled.

“No, what were you going to say?”

“I was going to say, so what do you think about our friends tonight?”

“That’s actually what I was going to say. I couldn’t believe they just up and left us!” He laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with him. He had a great laugh.

“I know, but my girls know what they want. I couldn’t have painted two better guys for them. They’re exactly what they look for,” I confided, leaning against the window so I could watch him as we navigated the hilly streets.

“Yeah, Neil has a weakness for Asian girls—and I swear that sounded less pervy in my head. And Ryan loves him some leggy redheads.” He laughed again, glancing over to see if I was okay with his leggy redhead comment.

I was. She was.

“Well, I’m sure I’ll hear all about it tomorrow—what kind of impression they made on my ladies. I’ll get the full report, don’t you worry.” I sighed. My phone would be ringing off the hook.

Silence crept back in, and I wondered what to say next.

“So how do you know Benjamin and Jillian?” he asked, saving me from small talk fever.

“I work for Jillian at the firm. I’m an interior designer.”

“Wait. Hold up, you’re that Caroline?” he asked.

“I have no idea what that means,” I answered, wondering why he was now staring at me.

“Damn, it really is a small world,” he exclaimed, shaking his head from side to side as though trying to clear it.

He was silent as I sat there in limbo.

“Hey, wanna clear that up a bit? What did you mean, that Caroline?” I finally questioned, slapping his shoulder.

“It’s just that…well…huh. Jillian has mentioned you before. Let’s leave it at that,” he said.

“Hell no, we won’t leave it at that! What did she say?” I pushed, slapping again at his shoulder.

“Would you cut that out? You’re really rough, you know that?” he said.

There were simply too many ways I could go with that comment, so I wisely kept quiet.

“What did she say about me?” I asked quietly, now worried that perhaps she’d said something about my work. My nerves were already shot, and now they were pinging.

He looked over at me. “No, no, it’s not like that,” he said quickly. “It’s nothing bad. It’s just that, well, Jillian adores you. And she adores me—of course, right?”

I rolled my eyes, but played along.

“And well, she might have…mentioned a few times…that she thought I should meet you,” he dragged out, only to wink at me when I met his eyes.

“Oh. Ohhhh,” I breathed as I realized what he meant. I blushed. Jillian, that little matchmaking shit. “Does she know about the harem?” I asked.

“Would you quit with that? Don’t call them the harem. You make it sound so shady. What if I told you those three women were incredibly important to me? That I care a lot about them. That the relationships I have with them work for us, and no one else needs to understand it—got it?” he said, pulling the Rover to an angry stop at the curb outside our building.