I freeze. My gut clenches and my belly quivers and my face heats up. I want what he wants. I want it so badly.
He laughs. “Oh, you meant the thing I want second-best?”
“That’ll do,” I croak.
“I’d go back to college,” he says over his laughter.
“Back to college? When were you in college?”
He scrubs a hand down his face. “Before Matt got sick. I had a scholarship.”
“But you had to come back home because of Matt and his cancer?” I lay a hand on my chest. My heart is breaking for this family. For Logan.
He shrugs. “We had to get some loans against the shop to pay for his treatment. And then he couldn’t keep doing tats because of the germs. So, we couldn’t pay the loans. Pete and Sam weren’t old enough to work there. Not doing tats.”
“What school did you go to?” I ask.
“NYU.” His brows furrow. “Why does any of his matter?”
“You gave up your scholarship for Matt. For your family.”
He shakes his head. “I got a deferment. I didn’t give up. I can go back once things are good here.”
“Did it cost a lot of money for Matt’s treatment?”
He nods. But he doesn’t elaborate. I can guess what a lot of money is to them.
“I wanted to do that, too,” I say quietly. No one knows this. No one else knows I had dreams once. “Well, not to NYU. I wanted to go to Julliard. But my dad said it was a worthless endeavor and he refused to pay for it.” I hold up a finger when he opens his mouth to protest. “But he was willing to pay for a wedding that cost four times what Julliard ever would.” I shake my head.
Logan looks a bit shell shocked. “A wedding?” he asks.
I nod, looking up at him from beneath lowered lashes.
His breath hitches. “Please tell me you’re not married.”
I shake my head. “No. That’s why I’m here.” I scoot forward so my knees are touching his. I don’t touch him anywhere else. But I need a connection with him. “My father arranged a marriage for me. That’s all I was good for, being on the arm of a senator or a high powered attorney. I had no worth of my own, aside from being someone’s arm piece. Since I can’t read, that was supposed to be my future.”
“But you said no.”
I nod. “I said no. And he didn’t like it. So, he went on without me. The wedding was planned. The dress was purchased. The church was decorated.”
His brows shoot toward the ceiling. “But you ran away.”
I nod, biting my lower lip. He pulls it free with the pad of his thumb and strokes across it. I kiss his thumb, and he leans back. “I ran away,” I confirm. “On the morning of the wedding, I ran away. I took a bus from home to here.”
“With nothing.”
I show him my empty hands. “I took some clothes, my guitar, and bus fare.”
“Where are you from?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I can’t tell you.” Yet. I know I’ll tell him eventually. But I can’t risk him calling my family. I can’t risk them finding out where I am. My father is one of the richest men in the country. He would spare no expense in bringing me home.”
He nods. He’s not happy about it, but he understands. “Julliard, huh?” he asks, smiling. His thumb trails across the back of my hand.
“Julliard,” I say with a smile. “I struggle with reading,” I admit. “But Julliard didn’t care. I even auditioned for them without him knowing. They wanted me. And offered special services for my dyslexia. But my dad found it to be a worthless endeavor. He’s of the opinion that I can’t learn. Anything.”
“Your dad is an idiot.” Logan says it deadpan.
I laugh. It’s a watery sound. He believes in me. Logan believes I could do it.
“What’s stopping you from going now?”
“My social security number,” I explain. “My father is looking for me. And I’m afraid he’ll force me back there if he knows where I am. He can track my movements if I go to the doctor or get a bank account or register for school.”
Logan shakes his head. “You’re an adult. You’re not under your father’s thumb.”
“I know.” I’m starting to realize that. “I don’t think I’ll ever go back.”
“Do you miss them? Your family?”
I miss them like crazy. “Almost every day.”
“Your dad?”
I nod.
“Your mom?”
I nod, and tears prick at my lashes when I think of her. But she didn’t help me when I begged and pleaded for her to do so. She sided with my father.
“Siblings?” he asks.
I shake my head. “My parents didn’t have more children. I’m their only one. Poor things got gypped, huh?”
“Don’t say that,” he warns sharply.
“It’s the truth. I’ve never been what they wanted.”
“What did they want?”
Someone else. “Someone who can read. Follow in their footsteps. Someone who doesn’t struggle to read street signs or financial statements. I can’t do any of those things.”
“Have they ever seen you play?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Not like I played tonight.”
“Then they’re even bigger idiots than I thought. You were amazing tonight. You had the crowd eating out of the palm of your hand.”