She shrugs. “Some of it. He sent me to my mom for the rest of it.”
“The rest of what?”
Her cheeks get even rosier. “The talk about birth control and all that stuff.”
“Oh,” I say. I sound like an idiot. But she just threw me for a loop. She walks toward a fence and bends to duck between the rails. I follow her, and Link does, too. He’s in his own world, and I think he’s singing a song. But it’s so soft, I can’t tell. “So, you’re…um…thinking about that kind of stuff, huh?”
She bites her lower lip and nods. “Yep.”
“I…ah…don’t know what to say about that.” I take my cap off and scratch the back of my head.
“You don’t have to say anything,” she says with a shrug. “I just wanted you to know I’m thinking about it.”
Oh, Jesus Christ. My heart trips in my chest like crazy. Shit just got real.
She narrows her eyes at me, but that may be the sun in her eyes. “You can tell me if you don’t have any romantic interest in me, Pete.” She heaves a sigh. “I’ll be all right with it.”
She turns and puts two fingers to her lips. A shrill whistle bursts through the air. Link covers his ears and grins. Suddenly, a horse gallops up, barreling toward us like a streak of black-and-white lightning. Reagan shrieks when I thrust her behind me, but she’s laughing too. The horse stops a step from my feet and snorts in my face. “Motherfucker,” I breathe.
“Motherfucker,” Link parrots.
Oh, hell. That’s bad. I’ve got to learn to watch my mouth around the kid. “Pretty horse,” I say, and I watch Link.
“Pretty horse,” he repeats.
“That’s better,” I say quietly. Link nods, and he holds the bucket up so the horse can stick his nose in it.
“This is Romeo,” Reagan says as she slips a halter over his head. She pats his sides. “He escapes all the time and goes to hang with the cows. Then Juliette gets upset and takes it out on everyone else.” She pats him but all he wants is to stick his head in the bucket. She starts to walk back toward the barn.
I follow, careful where I step, as we walk together. She’s quiet. Hell, maybe she’s thinking about birth control. I don’t know. I’m prepared. I’m always prepared, but she’s not ready for what I want. Not even close.
When we get to the barn, Reagan tosses the lead rope to Link and says, “Would you take him to Juliette, Link?” He nods and takes the horse, and Reagan motions for me to follow her. We walk behind the barn, and I can’t help but think of all the ways her dad would try to emasculate me if he caught us back here.
She narrows her eyes at me and a corner of her lip kicks up. “You remember last night when you said you could have some real feelings for me?” she asks quietly.
I nod.
She clears her throat and her discomfort is so damn cute that I want to kiss her immediately. “Well, I want you to know that I know I have some very real feelings for you, Pete. There’s no doubt about it. So, yeah, I’m scared. I’m scared of these feelings, and my mom was being a mom and my dad was being a dad and their first thought was keeping me from getting pregnant.”
Damn, I want to sleep with this girl, but I want so much more than just to sleep with her. “Reagan,” I say. I reach for her, and for the first time ever, she doesn’t flinch. She lets me cover her hips with my hands and pull her against me. “I’m the guy,” I say, trying not to grin. “I’ll take care of all that birth control stuff when the time is right.”
She nods. “I know you will.” She lays her forehead against my chest, and I can feel her breath against my skin, hot and warm. “You just asked about what my mom and dad had to say. And that’s what they had to say.” She shrugs. “So I told you.” She steps up onto her tiptoes and presses her lips to against my cheek, lingering long enough for me to smell her minty toothpaste. “Don’t worry, Pete. I promise not to defile you.” She grins. But with what happened to her, that’s not the least little bit amusing.
I groan and lay my head back, closing my eyes while I think. I can’t think while she’s looking at me.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. She steps back, and I feel the loss of her immediately. “The idea of having sex with me turns you off completely?” she whispers. “Doesn’t it?” She shakes her head. “I should have known.”
“No,” I start, but I don’t know what to say. She steps away, and I reach for her fingertips. She turns, and I grab her shirt. She spins around, but this time she doesn’t clock me. She looks at my hand and smiles. But it’s a sad smile. It’s not what I want to see on my girl’s face. “I want you.”
“It’s okay, Pete,” she says quietly. “Maybe I read this all wrong.” She motions from me to her and back again. “I thought we were at the same place.”
“I’m further gone than you are,” I blurt out.
She stops walking and looks me in the eye. “Gone?” Her green eyes blink slowly.
“Gone. Done. Head over heels. Can’t stop thinking about you. Want to be with you all the time. Can feel you against my skin even when you’re not with me. Gone.”
Her breaths quicken. “Oh,” she says. Her hands lay flat on my chest.
“But I think I might be further gone than you are.” I lean down to look into her eyes. “Are you going to break my heart, Reagan?” I ask. “You’re already thinking about birth control, and it scares the f**k out of me, the very thought of getting to be inside you. Because I want you, Reagan. I want every piece of you.”