Dad follows him in the corridor and I watch. Sky says softly, “Matt has a tender heart. He’s faced his own mortality more than once, so he knows what your mother’s going through.”
“He survived, though,” I say. Emotion swells inside me, right when I least expect it, and I have to swallow hard to push it down. “My mom isn’t going to.”
“I know,” she says. Her eyes well and she blinks hard to keep the tears from falling over. She doesn’t say anything. She just stares at her coffee. Finally, she says quietly, “You’re lucky, you know?”
My head jerks up and I snort. “Define luck.”
“My oldest boy, Seth, he would give anything to have a few more minutes with his mom. So don’t take it for granted.”
“I’ve been a bit of a bitch, lately,” I admit.
She laughs. “You’re a teenager. That comes with the territory. Your mom knows that.”
“Not about normal teenage stuff. Not boys. Not periods. Not makeup or clothes. But just about life.”
“Sometimes life convinces us it sucks. And sometimes it convinces us we suck. It happens. You get over it. I would wager your mom won’t hold it against you.”
I look into her eyes. “You promise?”
“I’m a mom. So, yes, I promise.”
I nod.
Dad and Matt come back down the hallway and they stop to shake hands. Matt and Sky leave hand in hand, and Dad leaves to go pick up Mom. I look around and wonder what the heck I’m supposed to be doing. But then a knock sounds on the door and Matt lets himself in. Hospice is there with the furniture and supplies, so he shows them where to put everything. Following him are four more men just like him, and then one that’s not like him at all.
Matt introduces his brothers and his son, Seth. Seth is so darn good-looking that I wish I’d brushed my hair when I woke up.
They get busy with no help from me, and they move Mom’s bed over, making enough room in the bedroom for a hospital bed and equipment. It doesn’t take them long, but they do have to rearrange the whole room.
They leave the same way they arrived, with absolutely no help from me. The two that look just alike high-five one another, and one kisses Seth on the cheek. Seth shoves him back and grabs him in a headlock, until Paul barks at them to knock it off. He runs them out the door with apologies to me.
“We’ll see you later,” Matt says. He goes out, but then he pokes his head back in the door. “You okay?” His brow furrows.
Suddenly, I remember that I don’t know what happened to Nick. “Do you know where Nick is?” I ask.
He grins. “Oh, your dad rolled him off the couch this morning and told him to go home. He said he’d see you tonight.”
I scratch my head. “Dad rolled him off the couch?”
He laughs. “You should ask him about it.” He waves again. “See you later!” Then he disappears.
Now I need to find Nick and ask him what happened between him and Dad. But Mom will be home soon.
Nick
My mind isn’t on work at all. It’s on Carrie. Last night, I slept in her bed until her father came home. Holding her next to me felt…right. It’s the only thing that has felt right for me in a really long time. I feel like my days are all work. My nights are more work. And all so I can hold on to my parents’ place at the beach.
I remember when they bought it. They were so excited. They paid for it in full and we were supposed to stay there only while they worked to get something a little larger. But that day never happened. We were happy anyway. I’d be happy there forever, but now the property taxes and insurance are killing me.
When I look at Carrie, I see possibilities. I see a future I forgot I might be able to have. I see college and dating and marriage. I might even see kids one day. But right now, I’ll never have the future I want because I’m working too damn hard.
I toss a can of tuna onto the shelf just a little too hard and the store manager scowls at me. “You dent it, you buy it,” he says.
I look down at it. I could actually use a can of tuna because my cupboards are bare. I live mostly on favors. There are so many people who owe me favors that I always have enough to eat, but not much else. Just like when I took the firewood to the Reeds—I do that all the time. I get from one person to give to another, building up favors. Then I sometimes collect. The rest I keep on account. For the firewood, I helped a guy clean fish he caught after a day on his boat. I smelled like fish for what seemed like a week, but he gave me some fish to take home, and I got the firewood from him when I needed it.
That’s the way my life works. Sometimes I feel like I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul. I’m tired. So tired.
Speaking of Pete and Paul, I see two of the Reeds walking through the aisles of the store. Each one has a kid on his hip, and there are three little girls at their feet. “Hey Nick,” Paul says, and he high-fives me as he walks by. He sets one of the kids down so he can look at some buckets, and the kid toddles across the floor faster than anything I ever saw. Paul jumps up and scoops him into his arms right before he can up-end a display of goldfish crackers. Paul tickles his belly and he scrunches up, his little face breaking into a grin.