There You Stand (Between Breaths 5)

“Alex keeps telling me it’s time,” he said. “To get settled. This is the safest place for me right now.”

I was speechless, my mind bending in a million different directions. What did that mean for him and me?

“It feels good to do something nice for somebody else,” he said. “And besides, having Chopper is like having a piece of you with me. Always.”

I reached for his hand and interlaced our fingers. “I think it sounds like a plan.”

“But, Cory, that doesn’t mean . . .”

“I know,” I said cutting him off at the pass. I didn’t want to hear him say we couldn’t be together.

“We’ll have to pretend until I know you’re safe, and I don’t know when or even if that’ll happen,” he said, his voice dripping with sadness and fear. “You bloody well deserve so much more.”

“Safe is a relative word, Jude,” I said. “I could get hit by a bus crossing the street or crash my motorcycle. You can’t keep me in a box.”

“Please don’t,” he said in a tortured voice. “I’m already afraid of losing you. I’ve already lost everybody else.”

So have I. I stretched across the bed and pulled him into my arms. “Shhhh . . . it’ll be okay.”

“It’s the only thing I can control,” he said. “The only way I know how to keep you protected.”

“I get it,” I said, sliding my lips across his.

His hands gripped me tight as his tongue delved past my lips, kissing me deep, as if it was the last time he’d have the chance.

I offered him one last peck on the lips and stood up.

“When will I see you again?” he asked, sitting up in bed.

“Let me finish your tattoo this week,” I said. “And then let me talk to Emmy about the dogs.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, with a tilt to his lips, as if testing the foreign words in his mouth.

I left in a fog. Because it was early morning, I wheeled my bike to the street before firing it up, as Jude cautiously watched from the window.

On the way home, I passed by Smoke and another recruit from the Disciples who were obviously on some kind of patrol. Did the guy ever sleep? But I’d admit it gave me a sense of calm and security to always have them in sight.

After I showered and changed, I headed to the shelter. I was tempted to keep the same T-shirt on from last night simply because it smelled woodsy, like Jude.

Once Emmy and I were finished cleaning cages, I broke the news about Patch.

She threw her arms around me. “Are you sure?”

“I think it’ll work out,” I said into her shoulder. At least I hoped it did. But what would happen if Jude left town?

I couldn’t even consider that possibility.

“I’ll have to thank Jude, too.”

“We both know that dog will thrive with him.”

“Give yourself some credit, Cory,” she said, popping me in the shoulder. “You’ve been good to him.”

“I fed him and walked him,” I said. “I’m good for something, I guess.”

We strolled to the large front desk where Tristan stood talking to some staff.

“Want to walk me through the adoption steps?”

“Of course,” she said, tearing her eyes from her boss. “I need to see if you’re a fit owner.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Let’s go see Patch first and tell him the news.”

I hoped to hell I knew what I was getting into with Jude. It was like walking straight into a hurricane, knowing my head and heart would be tossed around like some rag doll. But the lure of the wind was just too strong.

Chapter Twenty-six

Everything felt different since that night with Jude. Not only did I understand his perspective better, but I also realized that the world was an uglier place than I had envisioned.

That the everyday people who passed by you on the street might have a harrowing story of their own. That some of those same people might want to hurt you. And that bad guys may be hiding in plain sight.

Jude had suffered enough loss to trump us all and he wasn’t trying to forget—he was just trying to survive. That has an immediate sobering effect on me.

Tonight I was sitting at the bar in the Hog’s Den. It was a busier night but Vaughn was still telling his animated stories to anybody who would listen. The two regulars next to me were in a heated debate about the universal helmet law. Had David worn a helmet that night and cut off the number of beers he’d consumed, it might’ve saved his life. But I wasn’t about to share my opinion.

I just sucked on my beer, barely registering anything around me and only focusing on precisely what the hell it was that I wanted to do. The back room remained dark tonight and I was hoping for more action, so I could actually work up the nerve.

I knew that Jude wasn’t next door at the shop, because we had begun texting each other. We were careful to keep our conversations strictly platonic, just in case. Texting gave me a lifeline to him and I looked forward to his messages more than anything else in my day.

After a couple more patrons made their exit, Vaughn edged closer to my end of the bar. “Something on your mind, kid?”

He was probably a few years older than me, tops. But I felt like a teenager whenever he called me that. “Why do you ask?”

“Because you’re quiet and you ain’t never quiet,” he said pouring me a fresh beer.