There You Stand (Between Breaths 5)

When we got to the parking lot, I immediately spotted Smoke, who shook his head as if in a warning not to react to anything.

Jude was nowhere to be found and as we got to Dex’s car, I almost felt compelled to stay, but there was nothing I could do. I didn’t even have my bike.

Jude never responded to my text questions so as soon as Dex dropped me home, I got on my bike and rode.

I drove past his house, the marina, and then the Board Room before finally pulling into the back lot near the Hog’s Den, because I didn’t know what else to do.

The first thing I noticed was Chopper tied to the bike railing out back, and I strode toward the dog, my mind a flurry of activity. Was Jude inside or had he abandoned his dog?

“What are you doing here, boy?” I asked, kneeling down and petting his scruff.

I swallowed back my despair and fear and stormed inside the Hog’s Den heading straight for the bar.

“Should be temporary,” Vaughn said before I could get any words out. “He’ll be at the compound until Mal gets the all clear.”

My pulse skittered in my veins.

“Chopper stays with me,” he said, filling up a glass of beer as if nothing at all had happened. As if my entire world hadn’t just spun out of control. “If it’s longer than a day, then I’ll take him to Jude.”

“Why can’t I . . .”

“This is club business now,” he said. “Let it play out.”

My fingers shook as I gripped the edge of the bar. “That guy at the event?”

“Pretty big coincidence. That he was only in town for the competition. They have to see if his story checks out.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

Something dark passed through his eyes and my stomach dropped to the floor.

“He had to pitch his phone, so he left you something,” Vaughn said as he reached under the bar and pulled out a folded sheet of paper that was some sort of dingy receipt with the Hog’s Den insignia embossed at the top.

Jude had scrawled a note on the back.

Cory,

I pray this is a false alarm and I can lay eyes on you again.

I realized a bloody ton of things on my ride here.

I didn’t understand my heart back then.

Not until I met you.

And goddamn do I love you, Cory.

If I could, I’d ask you to spend forever with me.

Always,

Jude

I gripped the bar, overcome with warring emotions. A visceral flooding of love that welled in my soul, but also a sorrow that ached deep in my bones. The air in my lungs felt trapped by the weight of my despair and I choked for a decent breath.

“Don’t worry,” Vaughn said, studying me. “For now he’s safe.”

I blew out a breath.

“So he’ll be coming back?”

“That’s not up to me, Cory.”

Vaughn walked down the bar to hand some drafts to a couple of guys watching the game on the big screen.

When he came back my way he looked pointedly at me. “You’ve fallen hard for him, haven’t you?”

I nodded even though I was certain he saw the answer plainly in my eyes.

“Well, shit,” he said. “I don’t envy you, my friend.”

That was comforting. But what the hell did I expect with this crew?

Chapter Thirty-one

It’d been the most excruciating forty-eight hours of my life. I didn’t know if I’d see Jude again, and the not knowing was pummeling at my heart. It was almost like grieving David all over again. Except this time, I could still hold on to the hope that he’d come walking through the door.

After my shift at Raw Ink, where I attempted to hide from the probing eyes of Emmy and Dex, I headed home. I planned on checking in with my grandma and then riding to the Hog’s Den for any news once I fed the dogs.

I sat on the couch stroking Patch, who had curled up on my lap. I sank my head against the cushions and shut my eyes. I had barely slept all night and it was catching up to me. I ignored my aching back because I knew it was probably stress related, and until I knew Jude’s fate, the anxiety wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

I heard the sound of a motorcycle barreling down the street and my eyes flew open. Would that reaction ever leave me?

Next there was a tap on my door and my heart descended to my ribcage. I walked to my entryway, fearful of what I’d find. Maybe Smoke was giving me the courtesy of an update about Jude.

I pulled open the door and sagged against the frame as I saw Jude standing on the stoop with his hands shoved deep in his hoodie. Goddamn he knocked the wind out of me. He bit his lip, as if uncertain of himself or of how I’d respond.

Immediately my defenses heightened at the same time that something inside my chest latched closed. I looked around the yard and then down the street for any signs of danger. I noticed Smoke driving off in the distance.

“Cory,” he said, his voice filled with anguish.

“Jude.” I stayed back, as if terrified of allowing my heart to believe it was truly him. “I’m . . . goddamn I’m glad you’re safe.”

I wanted to bury my head into his shoulder, feel him, smell him, and unleash all of my emotions onto him.

I wanted to shove him away at the same time.

Because he felt like the sand in an hourglass. Always slipping through my fingers.

“Can we talk?” he said, taking a tentative step forward.

“I thought . . .” I moved sideways to allow him to get by, my chest tightening like a screw as an overwhelming well of panic arose inside of me. Like maybe Jude was only here for a brief visit and then he’d be on his way again. I was having great difficulty believing he was actually standing inside my house. “I figured you were probably gone. You know, for good. Like . . . like everybody else.”