That was a relief. It meant she wasn’t the coldhearted woman she’d led him to believe.
“I understand and appreciate what you tried to do, however misguided.” Blake took one of her hands in his and played with her fingers. “And that means there’s nothing standing in the way of you being in Drew’s life.” Or in mine.
Bella pulled her hand free and stared out the side window. “In his life as what, exactly?” Her low voice was almost impossible to hear over the music coming from the backseat.
It was too early for Blake to reveal his true intentions. “As his mother.”
Her huge sigh told him she’d been expecting his words. “But I’m not his mother.”
“You gave him life.”
“As part of a business arrangement.”
Her answer kicked him hard in the gut. He ignored the ache and kept all pain from his voice. “Don’t tell me that’s all it was.”
“What do you want me to say?” Heartache thrummed in her tone.
“All I want from you is the truth.”
“Then here it is. If I’d had any hint how hard it would be to give him up, I would never have agreed to be your surrogate.” She gathered a shaky breath. “Never in a million years would I have guessed how attached I would get to the child I was carrying.”
Accepting her explanation gave him some peace. “You gave no indication that you felt that way while you were pregnant.”
Her lips drooped at the corners. “I was supposed to be carrying a child that could never be mine. How would you have felt if I’d told you I never wanted to let Drew go?”
“Devastated.”
She gave a tight nod. “Every day that went by I fell more deeply in love,” Bella continued. “By the time I was in my final trimester, I was seriously considering breaking our contract and going back to Iowa with Drew.”
Blake’s pulse hitched at how close he’d come to losing his son. “What stopped you?”
“I thought I was ready to do anything to keep him until I came here and spent those two weeks with you…and Victoria. I couldn’t put my happiness above yours.”
He sensed she hadn’t included Vicky in her deliberations. “Thank you. The gift you’ve given me is something I can never repay.”
“You’re welcome.” A ghost of a smile flitted across her lips. “But you’re wrong. The money you paid me saved my parents’ farm.”
“You never told me what you did with the money.”
Her eyes glittered. “And from your tone, I gather you thought I blew it on stupid things like clothes and partying?”
“New York can be an expensive place to live and you did give me the impression you’d been sucked in by the glamour.”
“I’ve always valued my privacy. When you live with nine other people, it’s a rare commodity.”
“So your parents kept their farm and I have a wonderful son.” His anger at her deception about being Drew’s biological mother was tempered by yet another example of her generous nature. “How exactly did you benefit from our arrangement?”
Her eyes widened at his question, as if she’d never thought to include herself in the equation. “I guess what I got out of it was a wonderful new life in New York City. I never would have stayed here if we hadn’t met. The couple I originally came out here to meet chose a different surrogate and I was on the verge of returning to Iowa when I got a call from the clinic about you and Victoria needing a surrogate.”
She appeared perfectly happy with how things had turned out, but Blake couldn’t help but believe she deserved more.
“I think you are the most unselfish person I’ve ever met.”
“I’m not as altruistic as you believe.”
“Really?” He recalled the bits he’d overheard from her phone conversations over the last several weeks. “What did you do with the salary advance I gave you?”
“I gave it to my sister Kate for her semester studying abroad in Kenya.”
“And the money you gave to Sean?”
“Repairs to the truck he just bought.”
“A truck you helped him buy?”
“He got a job in town this summer. If he doesn’t have a car, he won’t be able to get to work. He’s planning on going to college after high school. He’ll need to save as much as possible. If I can help in this small way, it will make things a little easier on him.”
“Does everyone in your family turn to you for financial help?”
“My parents do the best they can. Mom promised Sean six hundred dollars toward a truck, but then the tractor needed repairs.” Bella looked resigned. “There’s always something that needs fixing on the farm.”