She pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. “I’ll pay special attention to them,” she said when she trusted her voice.
If they could talk like this in the bedroom, Ming was confident she could emerge from the weekend without doing something remarkably stupid like mentioning how her feelings for him had been evolving over the last few months. She’d keep things casual. Focus on the physical act, not the intimacy. Use her hands, mouth and tongue to appreciate the perfection of Jason’s toned, muscular body and avoid thinking about all those tiresome longings she’d bottled up over the years.
Savor the moment and ignore the future.
While Jason cleared the dishes from the table, Ming went to unpack and get ready for what was to come. Her confidence had returned over dinner. She had her priorities all in a row. Her gaze set on the prize. The path to creating a baby involved being intimate with Jason. She would let her body enjoy making love with him. Emotion had no place in what she was about to do.
Buoyed by her determination, Ming stopped dead in the doorway between the living room and bedroom. The scene before her laid waste to all her good intentions. Here was the stuff of seduction.
The centerpiece of the room was a king-size bed with the white down comforter pulled back and about a hundred red rose petals strewn across the white sheets. Candles covered every available surface, unlit but prepared to set a romantic mood when called upon. Piano music, played by her favorite artist, poured from the dresser, where portable speakers had been attached to an iPod. Everything was perfect.
Her chest locked up. She could not have designed a better setting. Jason had gone to a lot of trouble to do this. He’d planned, taken into account all her favorite things and executed all of this to give her the ideal romantic weekend.
It was so unlike him to think ahead and be so prepared. To take care of her instead of the other way around. It was as if she was here with a completely different person. A thoughtful, romantic guy who wanted something more than three days of great sex and then going back to being buddies. The sort of man women fell for and fell for hard.
“What do you think?”
She hadn’t heard Jason’s approach over the thump of her heart. “What I think is that I can’t do this.”
*
Jason surveyed the room, searching for imperfections. The candles were vanilla scented, her favorite. The rose petals on the bed proclaimed that this weekend was about romance rather than just sex. The coq au vin had been delicious. Everything he’d done was intended to set the perfect stage for romance.
He’d given her no indication that he intended to rush her. He’d promised her a memorable weekend. She had to know he’d take his time with her, drive her wild with desire. This wasn’t some spontaneous hookup for him. He took what they were about to do seriously.
What the hell could possibly be wrong?
“I’m sorry,” she said into the silence. Sagging against the door frame, she closed her eyes and the weight of the world appeared to descend on her.
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t, either.” She looked beautiful and tragic as she opened her eyes and met his gaze. “I want to do this.”
He was very glad to hear that because anticipation had been eating him alive these past few days. He wanted her with an intensity he’d never felt before. Maybe that was because ever since he’d kissed her, he’d been fantasizing about this moment. Or maybe he’d never worked this hard to get a woman into bed before.
“Being a mom is all I think about these days. I know if I want your help to get pregnant, we have to do it this weekend.” Ming lapsed into silence, her hunched shoulders broadcasting discomfort.
“I didn’t realize making love with me required so much sacrifice on your part.” He forced amusement into his tone to keep disappointment at bay.
Her words had cut deep. When he’d insisted they make her baby this way instead of going to a clinic, he thought this would be the perfect opportunity to satisfy his longing for her. The kiss between them a few days earlier confirmed the attraction between them was mutual. Why was she resisting when the vibe between them was electric? What was she afraid of?
“I didn’t mean it that way.” But from her unhappy expression his accusation hadn’t been far off.
“No?” Jason leaned against the wall and fought the urge to snatch her into his arms and kiss her senseless. He could seduce her, but he didn’t want just her body, he wanted… “How exactly did you mean it?”
“Look, we’re best friends. Don’t you think sleeping together will make things awkward between us?”
“Not possible. It’s because we’re just friends that it will work so great.” He sounded as if he was overselling used cars of dubious origin. “No expectations—”
“No strings?”
He didn’t like the way she said that. As if he’d just confirmed her worst fears. “Are you worried that I’m in this just for the sex?” She wasn’t acting as if she hoped it would lead to something more.
“Yes.” She frowned, clearly battling conflicting opinions. “No.”
“But you have some sort of expectation.” Jason was surprised that his flight response wasn’t stimulated by her question. Usually when a woman started thinking too much, it was time to get out.
“Not the sort you mean.” She gave her head a vigorous shake. “I know perfectly well that once we have sex—”
“Make love.”
“Whatever.” She waved her hand as if she was batting away a pesky fly. “That once we…become intimate, you will have your curiosity satisfied—”
“Curiosity?” The word exploded from him. That’s not how he’d describe the hunger pulsing through him. “You think all I feel is curiosity?”
She gave him a little shoulder shrug. Frustration clawed at him. The bed was feet away. He was damned tempted to scoop her up in his arms and drop her onto the softly scented sheets. Give her a taste of exactly what he was feeling.
He pushed off the wall and let his acute disappointment and eight-inch height advantage intimidate her into taking a step back. “And what about you? Aren’t you the least bit curious how hot this thing between us will burn?”
“Oh, please. I’m not one of the women you date.”
The second she rolled her eyes at him, Jason knew he’d hit a soft spot. Ming overthought everything. She liked her life neat and orderly. That was great for her career, but in her personal life she could use a man who overwhelmed her senses and short-circuited her thoughts. His brother hadn’t been able to do it. Evan had once complained that his fiancée had a hard time being spontaneous and letting go. He’d never come right out and said that she’d been reserved in bed. Evan had too much respect for Ming to be so crass, but Jason had been able to read between the lines.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Has it ever occurred to you to look at the sort of women you prefer to date?”
“Beautiful. Smart. Sexy.”
“Needy. Clinging. Terrified of abandonment.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down as no one else did. “You choose needy women to get your ego stroked and then, when you start to pull away because they’re too clingy, they fear your abandonment and chase you.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Jason wasn’t loving the picture she was painting of him. Nor was this conversation creating the romantic mood he’d hoped for, but he refused to drop the subject until he’d answered her charges.
“Jennifer was a doctor,” he said, listing the last three women he’d dated. “Amanda owned a very successful boutique and Sherri was a vice president of marketing. Independent, successful women all.”
“Jennifer had daddy issues.” She ticked the women off on her fingers. “Her father was a famous cardiologist and never let her feel as if she was good enough even though she finished second in her class at med school. Amanda was a middle child. She had four brothers and sisters and never felt as if her parents had time for her. As for Sherri, her mom left when she was seven. She had abandonment issues.”
“How did you know all that?”
Ming’s long-suffering look made his gut tighten. “Who do you think they come to when the relationship starts to cool?”
“What do you tell them?”
“That as wonderful as you are, any relationship with you has little chance of becoming permanent. You are a confirmed bachelor and an adrenaline junky with an all-consuming hobby who will eventually break their heart.”
“Do they listen to you?”
“The healthy ones do.”
“You know, if we weren’t such old and dear friends, I might be tempted to take offense.”
“You won’t,” she said confidently. “Because deep down you know you choose damaged women so eventually their issues will cause trouble between you and you have the perfect excuse to break things off.”
Deep down he knew this? “And here I thought I dated them because they were hot.” About then, Jason realized Ming had picked a fight with him. “I don’t want to talk about all the women I’ve dated.” But it was too late.