“Sure.” Something tickled her cheek. Ming reached up to touch the spot and her fingers came away wet. “I’m fine.”
“Then why are you crying?”
Her heart pumped sluggishly. “I’m feeling sorry for myself because I’m wondering if Evan ever loved me.” She stared at the ceiling, blinking hard to hold back the tears. “Am I so unlovable?”
Jason’s arms came around her. His lips brushed her cheek. “You’re the furthest thing from unlovable.”
Safe in his embrace, she badly wanted to believe him, but the facts spoke loud and clear. She was thirty-one, had never been married and was contemplating single motherhood.
“One of these days you’ll find the right guy for you. I’m sure of it.”
Hearing Jason’s words was like stepping on broken glass. Pain shot through her, but she had nowhere to run. The man her heart had chosen had no thought of ever falling in love with her.
Ming pushed out of Jason’s arms. “Did you really just say that minutes after we finished making love?”
His expression darkened. “I’m trying to be a good friend.”
“I get that we’re never going to be a couple, but did it ever occur to you that I might not be thinking about another man while being naked with you?” Her breath rushed past the lump in her throat.
“That’s funny.” His voice cracked like a whip. “Because just a second ago you were crying over the fact that my brother is in love with your sister.”
Ming’s mouth popped open, but no words emerged. Too many statements clogged the pathway between her brain and her lips. Everything Jason had said to her was perfectly reasonable. Her reactions were not. She was treating him like a lover, not like a friend.
“You’re right. I’m a little thrown by what’s happening between Lily and Evan. But it’s not because I’m in love with him. And I can’t even think about meeting someone and starting a relationship right now.”
“Don’t shut yourself off to the possibility.”
“Like you have?” Ming couldn’t believe he of all people was giving her advice on her love life. Before she blurted out her true feelings, she gathered up all her wayward emotions and packed them away. “I’d better get home and check on Muffin.”
“I’m sure Muffin is fine.” Jason peered at her, his impatience banked. “Are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
She wanted to bask in his concern, but they were in different places in their relationship right now. His feelings for her hadn’t changed while she was dangerously close to being in love with him.
“No need to worry about me.” Ming collected her strength and gave him her best smile. Crossing to his dresser, she pulled out a T-shirt. “Is it okay if I borrow this since you ruined my blouse?”
Jason eyed her, obviously not convinced by her performance. “Go ahead. I don’t want to be responsible for any multicar pileups if you drive home topless.” His tone was good-natured, but his eyes followed her somberly as she exchanged shirt for robe and headed toward the door.
“I’ll call you later,” she tossed over her shoulder, hoping to escape before unhappiness overwhelmed her.
“You could stay for dinner.” He’d accompanied her downstairs and scooped up her black skirt and her hot pink thong before she could reach them, holding them hostage while he awaited her answer.
“I have some case files to look over before tomorrow,” she said, conscious of his gaze on her as she tugged her underwear and skirt from his hands.
“You can work on them after dinner. I have some reports to go over. We can have a study date just like old times.”
As tempting as that sounded, she recognized that it was time to be blunt. “I need some time to think.”
“About what?”
“Things,” she murmured, knowing Jason would never let her get away with such a vague excuse. Like how she needed to adjust to being friends and lovers with Jason. Then there was the tricky situation with her sister. She needed to get past being angry with Lily, not because she was dating Ming’s ex-fiancé, but because her sister might get what Ming couldn’t: a happily-ever-after with a man who loved her.
“What is there to think about?” Jason demanded. “We made love. Hopefully, we made a baby.”
Her knees knocked together. Could she be pregnant already? The idea thrilled her. She wanted to be carrying Jason’s child. Wanted it now more than ever. Which made her question her longing to become a mother. Would she be as determined if it was any other man who was helping her get pregnant? Or was she motivated by the desire to have something of Jason otherwise denied to her?
“I hope that, too.” She forced a bright smile.
His bare feet moved soundlessly on the tile floor as he picked up her ruined blouse and carried it to the trash. Slipping back into her clothes, she regarded him in helpless fascination.
In jeans and a black T-shirt, he was everything she’d ever wanted in a man, flaws and all. Strong all the time, sensitive when he needed to be. He demonstrated a capacity for tenderness when she least expected it. They were incredible together in bed and the best of friends out of it.
“Or are you heading home to fret about your sister and Evan seeing each other?”
“No.” But she couldn’t make her voice as convincing as she wanted it to sound. “Evan and I are over. It was inevitable that he would start dating someone.”
She just wished it hadn’t happened with her sister.
Ming lifted on her tiptoes and kissed Jason. “Thanks for a lovely afternoon.” The spontaneous encounter had knocked her off plan. She needed to regroup and reassess. Aiming for casual, she teased, “Let me know if you feel like doing it again soon.”
He grabbed her hand and pushed it against his zipper. “I feel like doing it again now.” His husky voice and the intense light in his eyes made her pulse rocket. “Stay for dinner. I promise you won’t leave hungry.”
The heat of him melted some of the chill from her heart. She leaned into his chest, her fingers curving around the bulge in his pants. He fisted his hand in her hair while his mouth slanted over hers, spiriting her into a passionate whirlwind. This afternoon she’d awakened to his hunger. The power of it set her senses ablaze. She was helpless against the appeal of his hard body as he eased her back against the counter. On the verge of surrendering to the mind-blasting pleasure of Jason’s fingers sliding up her naked thigh, his earlier words came back to her.
One of these days you’ll find the right guy for you.
She broke off the kiss. Gasping air into her lungs, she put her hands on Jason’s chest and ducked her head before he could claim her lips again.
“I’ve really got to go,” she told him, applying enough pressure to assure him she wasn’t going to be swayed by his sensual persuasion.
His hands fell away. As hot as he’d been a moment ago, when he stepped back and plunged his hands into his pockets, his blue eyes were as cool and reflective as a mountain lake.
“How about we have dinner tomorrow?” she cajoled, swamped by anxiety. As perfect as it was to feel his arms tighten around her, she needed to sort out her chaotic emotions before she saw him again.
“Sure.” Short and terse.
“Here?”
“If you want.” He gave her a stiff nod.
She put her hand on his cheek, offered him a glimpse of her longing. “I want very much.”
His eyes softened. “Five o’clock.” He pressed a kiss into her palm. “Don’t be late.”
Seven
Ming parked her car near the bleachers that overlooked the curvy two-mile track. Like most of the raceways where Jason spent his weekends, this one was in the middle of nowhere. At least it was only a couple of hours out of Houston. Some of the tracks he raced at were hundreds of miles away.
Jason was going to be surprised to see her. It had been six or seven years since she’d last seen him race. The sport didn’t appeal to her. Noisy. Dusty. Monotonous. She suspected the thrills came from driving, not watching.
So, what was she doing here?
If she was acting like Jason’s “friend,” she would have remained in Houston and spent her Saturday shopping or boating with college classmates. Driving over a hundred miles to sit on a metal seat in the blazing-hot sun fell put her smack dab in the middle of “girlfriend” territory. Would Jason see it as such? Ming took a seat in the stands despite the suspicion that coming here had been a colossal mistake.
The portion of track in front of her was a half-mile drag strip that allowed the cars to reach over a hundred miles an hour before they had to power down to make the almost ninety-degree turn at the end. The roar was impressive as twenty-five high-performance engines raced past Ming.
Despite the speed at which they traveled, Jason’s Mustang was easy to spot. Galaxy-blue. When he’d been working on the car, he’d asked for her opinion and she’d chosen the color, amused that she’d matched his car to his eyes without him catching on.
In seconds, the cars roared off, leaving Ming baking in the hot sun. With her backside sore from the hard bench and her emotions a jumble, it was official. She was definitely exhibiting “girlfriend” behavior.