Lester did, but first he cleaned up the little splatters of blood on the hardwood behind the pulpit. He did it on his knees. He didn't pray as he worked, but he meditated on the verses. He felt much better.
For the time being, he would speak only generally or" the sins which might have brought this unknown barrier down between The Mill and the outside world; but he would look for the sign. For a blind man or woman who had gone crazy, yea, verily.
6
Brenda Perkins listened to WCIK because her husband liked it (had liked it), but she would never have set foot inside the Holy B.edeemer Church. She was Congo to the core, and she made sure hei husband went with her.
Had made sure. Howie would only be in the Congo church once more. Would lie there, unknowing, while Piper Libby preached his eulogy.
This realization - so stark and immutable - struck home. For the first time since she'd gotten the news, Brenda let loose and wailed. Perhaps because now she could. Now she was alone.
On the television, the President - looking solemn and fright-eningly old - was saying, 'My fellow Americans, you want answers. And I pledge to give them to you as soon as I have them. There will be no secrecy on this issue. My window on events will be your window. That is my solemn promise - '
'Yeah, and you've got a bridge you want to sell me,' Brsnda said, and that made her cry harder, because it was one of Howie's faves. She snapped off the TV, then dropped the remote on the rloor. She felt like stepping on it and breaking it but didn't, mostly because she could see Howie shaking his head and telling her not to be silly.
She went into his little study instead, wanting to touch him somehow while his presence here was still fresh. Needing to touch him. Out back, their generator purred. Fat n happy, Howie would have said. She'd hated the expense of that thing when Howie ordered it after nine-eleven (Just to be on the safe side, he'd told her), but now she regretted every sniping word she'd said about it. Missing him in the dark would have been even more terrible, more lonely.
His desk was bare except for his laptop, which was standing open. His screen saver was a picture from a long-ago Little League game. Both Howie and Chip, then eleven or twelve, were wearing the green jerseys of the Sanders Hometown Drug Monarchs; the picture had been taken the year Howie and Rusty Everett had taken the Sanders team to the state finals. Chip had his arms around his father and Brenda had her arms around both of them. A good day. But fragile. As fragile as a crystal goblet. Who knew such things at the time, when it still might be possible to hold on a little?
She hadn't been able to get hold of Chip yet, and the thought of that call - supposing she could make it - undid her completely. Sobbing, she got down on her knees beside her husband's desk. She didn't fold her hands but put them together palm to palm, as she had as a child, kneeling in flannel pajamas beside her bed and reciting the mantra of God bless Mom, God bless Dad, God bless my goldfish who doesn't have a name yet.
'God, this is Brenda. I don't want him back... well, I do, but I know You can't do that. Only give me the strength to bear this, okay? And I wonder if maybe... I don't know if this is blasphemy or not, probably it is, but I wonder ifYou could let him talk to me one more time. Maybe let him touch me one more time, like he did this morning.'
At the thought of it - his fingers on her skin in the sunshine - she cried even harder.
'I know You don't deal in ghosts - except of course for the Holy one - but maybe in a dream? I know it's a lot to ask, but... oh God, there's such a hole in me tonight. I didn't know there could be such holes in a person, and I'm afraid I'll fall in. If You do this for me, I'll do something for You. All You have to do is ask. Please, God, just a touch. Or a word. Even if it's in a dream.' She took a deep, wet breath. 'Thank you. Thy will be done, of course. Whether I like it or not.' She laughed weakly. 'Amen.'
She opened her eyes and got up, holding the desk for support. One hand nudged the computer, and the screen brightened at once. He was always forgetting to turn it off, but at least he kept it plugged in so the battery wouldn't run down. And he kept his electronic desktop far neater than she did; hers was always cluttered with downloads and electronic sticky-notes. On Howie's desktop, always just three files stacked neatly below the hard-disc icon: CURRENT, where he kept reports of ongoing investigations; COURT, where he kept a list of who (including himself) was down to testify, and where, and why.The third file was MORIN ST. MANSE, where he kept everything having to do with the house. It occurred to her that if she opened that one she might find something about the generator, and she needed to knew about that so she could keep it running as long as possible. Henry Morrison from the PD would probably be happy to change the current propane canister, but what if there were no spares? If that were the case, she should buy more at Burpee's or the Gas & Grocery before they were all gone.
She put her fingertip on the mousepad, then paused.There was a fourth file on the screen, lurking way down in the lefthand corner. She had never seen it before. Brenda tried to remember the last time she'd happened to look at the desktop of this computer, and couldn't.
VADER, the filename read.
Well, there was only one person in town Howie referred to as Vader, as in Darth: Big Jim Rennie.
Curious, she moved the cursor to the file and double-clicked it, wondering if it was password protected.
It was. She tried WILDCATS, which opened his CURRENT file (he hadn't bothered to protect COURT), and it worked. In the file were two documents. One was labeled ONGOING INVESTIGATION. The other was a PDF doc titled LETTER FROM SMAG. In Howie-speak, that stood for State of Maine Attorney General. She clicked on it.
Brenda scanned the AG's letter with growing amazement as the tears dried on her cheeks. The first thing her eye happenec on was the salutation: not Dear Chief Perkins but Dear Duke.