'That's the ticket,' he said.'If you want something done right in this world, you have to do it yourself. Just ask Coggins. Just ask the Perkins rhymes-with-witch. They know.' He laughed some more. He couldn't help it, because it really was rich. 'They found out.You don't tease a big dog if you only have a little stick. Nosir. Nosirree.'
He felt around for the starter-button, found it, pushed it. Nothing happened. Suddenly the air in the room seemed thicker than ever.
I pushed the wrong button, that's all.
Knowing better but believing it because some things have to be believed. He blew on his fingers like a crap-shooter hoping to heat up a cold pair of dice. Then he felt around until his fingers found the button.
'God,' he said,'this is Your servant, James Rennie. Please let this darned old thing start. I ask it in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.'
He pushed the starter-button.
Nothing.
He sat in the dark with his feet dangling in the storage compartment, trying to push back the panic that wanted to descend and eat him raw. He had to think. It was the only way to survive. But it was hard. When you were in the dark, when your heart was threatening full revolt at any second, thinking was hard.
And the worst of it? Everything he'd done and everything he'd worked for during the last thirty years of his life seemed unreal. Like the way people looked on the other side of the Dome. They walked, they talked, they drove cars, they even flew in airplanes and helicopters. But none of it mattered, not under the Dome.
Get hold of yourself If God won't help you, help yourself.
Okay. The first thing was light. Even a book of matches would do. There had to be something on one of the shelves in the other room. He would just feel along - very slowly, very methodically - until he found it. And then he would find batteries for the cotton-picking starter-motor. There were batteries, of that he was sure, because he needed the generator. Without the generator he would die.
Suppose you do get it started again? What happens when the propane runs out?
Ah, but something would intervene. He wasn't meant to die down here. Roast beef with Jesus? He'd pass on that meal, actually. If he couldn't sit at the head of the table, he'd just as soon skip the whole thing.
That made him laugh again. He made his way very slowly and carefully back to the door leading into the main room. He held his hands out in front of him like a blind man. After seven steps they touched the wall. He moved to the right, trailing his fingertips over the wood, and... ah! ELmptiness. The doorway. Good.
He shuffled through it, moving more confidently now in spite of the blackness. He remembered the layout of this room perfectly: shelves to either side, couch dead ahea -
He tripped over the goddam cotton-picking kid again and went sprawling. He hit his forehead on the floor and screamed - more in surprise and outrage than in pain, because there was a carpet to pad the blow. But oh God, there was a dead hand between his legs. It seemed to be clutching at his balls.
Big Jim got to his knees, crawled forward, and hit his head again, this time on the couch. He let out another yell, then crawled up onto it, pulling his legs after him quickly, the way a man might pull his legs from water he's just realized is infested with sharks.
He lay there trembling, telling himself to calm down, he had to calm down or he really would have a heart attack.
When you feel these arrhythmias, you need to center yourself and take long deep breaths, the hippy doctor had told him. At the time, Big Jim had considered this New Age bullshit, but now there was nothing else - he didn't have his verapamil - so he'd have to try it.
And it seemed to work. After twenty deep breaths and long, slow exhales, he could feel his heart settling. The coppery taste was leaving his mouth. Unfortunately, a weight seemed to be settling on his chest. Pain was creeping down his left arm. He knew these were heart! attack symptoms, but he thought indigestion from all the sardines he'd eaten was just as likely. More likely. The long, slow breaths were taking care of his heart just fine (but he would still get it looked at when he was out of this mess, maybe even give in and get that bypass surgery). The heat was the problem. The heat and the thick air. He had to find that flashlight and get the gennie going again. Just one more minute, or maybe two -
Someone 'was breathing in here.
Yes, of course. I'm breathing in here.
And yet he was quite sure he heard someone else. More than just one someone. It seemed to him that there were several people in here with him. And he thought he knew who they were.
That's ridiculous.
Yes, but one of the breathers was behind the couch. One was lurking in the corner. And one was standing not three feet in front of him.
No. Stop it!
Brenda Perkins behind the couch. Lester Coggins in the corner, his jaw unhinged and hanging.
And standing dead ahead -
'No,' Big Jim said. 'That's crap. That's bullshit!
He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on taking those long slow breaths.
'It sure smells good in here, Dad,' Junior droned from in front of him. 'It smells like the pantry. And my girlfriends.'
Big Jim shrieked.
'Help me up, bro,' Carter said from where he lay on the floor. 'He cut me up pretty bad. Shot me, too.'
'Stop it,' Big Jim whispered. 'I don't hear any of that, so just stop it. I'm counting breaths. I'm settling my heart.'
'I still have the papers,' Brenda Perkins said. 'And lots of copies. Soon they'll be tacked to every telephone pole in town, the way Julia tacked up the last issue of her newspaper. "Be sure your sin will find you out" - Numbers, chapter thirty-two.'
'You're not there!'
But then something - it felt like a finger - kissed its way down his cheek.
Bigjim shrieked again.The fallout shelter was full of dead people who were nevertheless breathing the increasingly foul air, and they were moving in. Even in the dark he could see their pale faces. He could see his dead son's eyes.