‘It doesn’t matter. Go to sleep. You need rest.’
Orsino ground his teeth. Was there ever a more infuriating woman? The feel of her body against his was like a glimpse of paradise and the tentative truce they’d declared should have made life easy, yet she insisted on being difficult. Did she do it deliberately?
‘You really think I’m going to sleep now you’ve left me hanging like that? Spit it out. What weren’t you sure about?’
‘As if you don’t know.’ Her breath shuddered against his skin. ‘I never knew whether you loved me.’ Her voice was defiant, yet behind the bravado he heard it tremble.
Orsino groped for a response, but his brain was too busy trying and failing to process what she’d said.
She’d thought he hadn’t loved her?
Why would he marry her if he hadn’t loved her?
He’d had women chasing him since his teens. Women who wanted a chunk of the Chatsfield family fortune, or a celebrity husband who could provide a luxury lifestyle to boot.
Surely the fact he’d chosen Poppy, instead of one of the hundreds of others, was proof enough!
‘The sex was fantastic, of course, but there was always a part of you closed off from everyone else. Behind the charisma and the charm was someone I knew I couldn’t reach.’
She paused and he wondered dully what had possessed him to ask for the truth.
Hadn’t he known probing the past was a mistake?
‘Like your trips away.’
‘What about them?’ Impatience tinged his tone. Those climbing trips had been part of his life since his teens. They had kept him sane and functioning in a dysfunctional family, in a society where everyone wanted something and nothing seemed to have real value or depth.
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘But they were important to you and whenever I asked about them you clammed up. You didn’t want me involved.’
Great! According to her he’d screwed up their marriage because he’d continued to enjoy outdoor treks she hadn’t a hope of keeping up with. And because he hadn’t said ‘I love you’ enough.
Orsino’s mouth flattened.
Typical of her to blame him when the reason for their marriage crashing and burning was her lust for another man. He opened his mouth to give her a blast but his brain seemed to have no control over his tongue.
‘I’m sorry you felt that way, Poppy.’
It was true. Despite the anguish she’d caused, regret seeped through him.
He’d had to be resilient and self-sufficient from an early age and his predilection for extreme sports had honed his ability for intense personal focus.
Had he really shut her out by clinging to what had been his lifeline—his escapes to the wilderness?
It seemed impossible. Yet he’d learned in the past years that people and their needs were anything but simple.
Against his shoulder she nodded, sliding her long, soft hair in a caress across his skin. ‘It’s over, Orsino. It doesn’t matter. I don’t even know why we’re discussing it. There’s no going back.’
She took the words out of his mouth.
He told himself that was good. She wasn’t expecting this affair to go anywhere once it reached its natural conclusion.
It was only much later, when the sound of Poppy’s even breathing told him she’d finally fallen asleep, that he found himself wondering.
In the days when it had still been true, had he ever told Poppy he loved her?
Or, it struck him suddenly, had he, the man renowned for reckless courage, been too scared?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE WHOOSHING ROAR of the burners made conversation impossible but Poppy didn’t mind. From here, suspended high above fields and forests, she watched the peach-gold dawn glaze the landscape. Long shadows stretched inky blue as if retreating from the light. Pale patches of frost hadn’t yet melted.
Threads of mist clung to the river as it meandered around a bluff topped by a moated fairytale castle that bristled with round towers.
Below was an ancient town with steeply tiled roofs and narrow streets. Poppy craned her neck over the edge of the basket in fascination.
The pilot switched off the blast of heat firing the hot air balloon and in the blissful silence she heard the cry of a lone bird.
‘It’s nothing like being in a plane.’ She felt her smile spread across her features. ‘This is so … real. Looking out a plane window it all seems so far away. But this—I can almost smell the earth and the wood smoke.’
Orsino moved behind her, his big frame solid at her back. She leaned into him, luxuriating in his nearness. A secret smile curved her lips as his hand rubbed her arm. Even through the heavy coat his touch was magic.