CHAPTER FIFTEEN
‘HELLO, Tamsin. It’s good to see you.’
Alaric’s voice was low and smooth, evoking memories of heady passion and soft endearments. In that moment her indignation bled away, replaced by longing and regret.
‘Hello, Alaric.’ Her voice was breathless, as if she’d run across the castle compound and up four flights of stairs instead of being escorted in a state of the art lift.
Silence fell as their eyes locked. Tamsin wanted to look away but couldn’t, mesmerised by something in his gaze she’d never seen.
Despite the sling and a slight limp as he walked towards her, Alaric was a formidable figure: handsome, virile and powerful. Tamsin’s nerves stretched taut as she fought not to respond to his nearness. Yet her stomach filled with butterflies and her knees trembled.
If only she couldn’t remember so clearly the bliss she’d found in his arms.
But seeing him at the centre of that gathering, easily dominating the proceedings, had reinforced everything she’d told herself the last six weeks or so. That they belonged to different worlds.
‘What was that, just now?’ Jerkily she gestured to the desk where so many people had come forward to sign that large parchment. ‘Some sort of ceremony?’
‘Royal business,’ he said, watching her so intently it seemed he noted every move, every expression. Was he wondering how he’d brought himself to make love to her?
Heat rushed into her cheeks. When he didn’t explain further, Tamsin understood. His silence reinforced that she had no business enquiring into matters of state. The gulf between them was unbreachable.
He seemed taller, looming over her, making her feel vulnerable. His eyes were darker. They looked almost black. Try as she might she couldn’t read his shuttered expression.
He stepped near and instantly her nerve ends tingled in awareness. Automatically she inched back a step, then, realising what she was doing, planted her feet.
‘How are you, Alaric?’
‘As you see.’ His lips twisted ruefully. ‘I survived.’
‘Will you recover fully?’ She gestured to his stiff leg.
‘I’m told so.’
Her heart thudded in relief and she clasped her hands, unable to tear her gaze from those unfathomable eyes.
‘It’s my fault you were injured—’
‘Don’t even think of apologising!’ The words shot out like bullets. He leaned towards her, his eyebrows lowering like storm clouds over flashing eyes.
‘I’m the one who’s sorry.’ His mouth flattened. ‘I tried earlier, at the lodge, but you wouldn’t accept my apologies.’
Tamsin frowned. She couldn’t remember that. But the scene was a blur of misery and grief.
He shifted as if it pained him to stand. ‘I had no business seducing you. You are a guest in my country, an employee.’
Tamsin didn’t know why her heart shrivelled at his reminder of their relative stations. It was true yet for a bright brief period it hadn’t seemed to matter. That had been an illusion. Part of his seduction technique.
‘I should never have—’
‘Please!’ She couldn’t bear him to go on, enumerating everything that had happened between them. She’d relived every moment these past weeks and it brought no solace, just aching regret like a cold lump of lead in her chest.
‘Don’t go on. I accept your apology.’ She turned to face the glowing fire in the ornate fireplace rather than meet his intense gaze. ‘You believed you were protecting your country.’
It had taken her a long time but finally she’d seen a little of his perspective. A perspective reinforced by the scene she’d just witnessed. He had responsibilities for a nation that weighed heavily.
Tamsin understood his motives but that didn’t excuse his tactics. She cringed at the thought of others listening to her conversation with Patrick. And as for Alaric letting her think he really cared, really desired her…
‘You’re very forgiving.’
She avoided his eyes. ‘I’ve had time to consider.’
‘But there’s no excuse for—’
‘No, but I don’t want to discuss it.’ Pain clawed at her. She didn’t want to revisit the details. Like how he’d bedded her as part of his scheme. Or how she’d given her heart to him.
At least he didn’t know that. How much more sorry for her he’d be if he knew she’d fallen in love.
Listening to his mellow baritone was delicious torture. Being here with him was what she’d dreamed of and yet it was dangerous.
She wanted what she could never have. She’d fallen for an illusion, believing in a relationship that could never be. Pain seeped from her cracked heart.