Tariq had to work to keep his face bland as the older man moved away. The Emir had rattled him more than he’d thought possible.
Besotted? Hardly. He was incapable of such unguarded emotion. That was a strength he’d accrued from his strict, unsentimental upbringing. There’d been no room for love in his formative years, no soft, feminine influence. It was only later he’d learned such invulnerability was also a flaw.
When he’d discovered Jasmin, carefully chosen for their arranged, dynastic marriage, loved him.
It had been unexpected, unwanted. Terrible.
For, no matter how much he respected and admired her, Tariq hadn’t been able to return those feelings.
His mouth thinned. Samira had been adamant she didn’t want romantic love. Perhaps he should have come straight out and told her he was incapable of it. If he’d been able to fall in love it would surely have been with Jasmin. She’d been gentle, loyal and hard-working, deserving of love. And he’d seen how she’d suffered when her feelings weren’t returned.
He’d tried so hard and failed abysmally. She’d never won his heart, leaving him to conclude that, like his upright but emotionally isolated uncle, he didn’t have a heart to win.
He’d done his best to make it up to her in attentiveness. But it hadn’t been enough. He’d seen it in her eyes.
Tariq had failed her. The knowledge ate at him like a canker. Despite his wealth and power he hadn’t been able to save Jasmin’s life. Nor had he been able to give her the one thing she’d craved—love.
Abruptly Tariq turned his back on the group surrounding Samira, his heart pounding.
The Emir was mistaken. Samira didn’t want love. She’d married him for his sons.
And he... He wanted her, craved her. He’d craved her even when she’d been with another man. Even when he’d been married to another woman.
So much for being a man of honour!
A chance sighting of a press photo of Jazeer’s scandalous princess had been enough to send him into a lather of activity, extending his already full schedule in an attempt to work off desires he had no right feeling. Guilt had driven him to be the ideal husband to Jasmin in every way left open to him.
Tariq breathed deep. The past was past. He’d done the best he could for Jasmin. And as for wanting Samira—she was his wife now. Why shouldn’t he desire her?
They had the perfect marriage. Respect. Affection. Phenomenal sex. But no illusions of love.
* * *
‘Risay, you’re becoming such a big boy.’ Samira smiled encouragingly as he tackled the long noodles in his bowl, amazed at how he’d grown in the months since the wedding.
Beside him Adil was absorbed in pulling the pasta apart and dropping it from his high chair. He caught Samira’s eyes, picked up another thread of pasta, then let it fall, crowing with delight as it hit the floor. Samira laughed. ‘And you, Adil, are going to be a charmer with that cheeky smile and those big green eyes.’
Just like his father. No one would call Tariq cheeky, but his smile made her heart flip over. It transformed his face from austere to stunningly charismatic. Every time she saw it Samira’s breath caught beneath her ribs.
She shifted in her seat. Strange that she had that slightly breathless feeling now, as if carrying the boys down the corridor and putting them in their high chairs was more effort than before.
‘Is everything all right, madam?’
Samira smiled up at Sofia who’d just appeared with the boys’ juice cups. ‘Yes, thanks. Just getting a bit more comfortable.’
She tugged at the fabric of her skirt that had bunched high when she sat. How could the waistband need adjusting again?
She’d got in the habit of wearing loose dresses in private, but she’d been with a client today and had put on a narrow tailored skirt and jacket of peacock-blue in the retro fifties style Tariq appreciated so much. Probably because of the way it clung to her hips and thighs.
Samira frowned. Maybe she should give up wearing it until she slimmed down. She hadn’t noticed herself eating more but clearly Tariq’s excellent royal chefs were having an impact. If she didn’t do something soon to get back in shape she’d be as fat as butter.
‘Are you sure nothing’s wrong, madam?’
‘Nothing at all. Just a little too much good food.’
Sofia nodded and clucked her tongue as she removed Risay’s empty bowl. ‘Fitted clothes like that will get more difficult to wear. You’ll be more comfortable in traditional dresses and loose trousers from now on.’