‘What would you have had me do?’ Asim burst out, his hold on her tightening. ‘Look in the soukhs and back alleys for a bride? Of course I searched for someone who’d be personally compatible as well as someone who could handle official royal duties.’
The devil of it was he was right. Wasn’t that what royals did, arrange dynastic marriages?
She drew a shuddering breath and looked towards the window framing the view of the oasis. The sky was indigo now. Her day of magic was over.
‘I never meant to hurt you, Jacqui. You must know that.’ This time when he palmed her cheek she didn’t have the strength to pull away. She shut her eyes and told herself soon she’d gather the will to move.
‘What’s between us...it wasn’t planned. You felt it too, that spark that drew us from the first. It kept getting stronger and stronger. I hadn’t planned to take a lover, now of all times, but resisting became impossible. You know it.’ He tilted her chin.
She opened her eyes and lost herself in the velvet depths of his gaze. Her heart felt bruised and battered and so full she thought it might burst.
‘I’ve never lied to you.’
‘Except by omission.’
Gravely he regarded her. ‘You’re right. It was dishonourable of me. I tried to pull back but I couldn’t resist you. You were always there, in my consciousness, and no matter how I tried I couldn’t keep fighting temptation.’ He shook his head. ‘I sound like a kid making excuses! The truth was, after that first night, the night I seduced you, I hadn’t a hope of putting you aside. You’re in my blood.’
His hands moved to her shoulders, as if to prevent her moving.
If he only knew. Nothing on this earth would make her shift now.
For all the hours they’d spent talking, Asim had never spoken so frankly about his feelings. It was as if he shied from admitting softer emotions.
How did he see their relationship? Lust? Friendship with benefits? Or something more?
‘And now?’ Her voice was stilted by tight vocal cords. ‘What happens now, Asim?’
His hands curled around her shoulders in a rhythmic caress. He leaned in.
‘I’ve told my staff to cancel all arrangements to meet...’ He stopped, as if choosing his words carefully. ‘Anyone else. It was a foolish idea.’
Jacqui’s heart soared as she read the warmth in Asim’s eyes.
‘It’s impossible to consider potential brides when you and I have this.’ One hand slid across her bare shoulder to stroke the sensitive skin of her neck.
‘Really?’
‘What do you expect?’ His mouth edged up in a smile. ‘You’re a lover who’d distract any man, Jacqueline. It’s nonsense even to think of such things while we’re together.’
Jacqui stiffened, her brain chugging into gear despite the distraction of Asim’s caresses.
While we’re together. Was she imagining it or did that imply an end date?
‘So you want to keep me as your lover?’
His brow knotted. ‘Of course! What we have is rare. I’ve never had this with any woman.’
‘For how long?’ Her lips felt stiff.
‘However long the passion lasts.’ His smile was taut as he stroked her neck. He plunged his fingers into her hair, massaging her scalp in a sensual caress that turned her to jelly. ‘What we have is too good to give up yet.’
Yet.
Despite the desire to loll back against his touch and let him seduce her into ecstasy, it wasn’t going to happen. Not this time.
She hadn’t slept with Asim expecting him to declare undying devotion. Like him, she’d been overwhelmed by the force and physicality of their passion. But always there’d been another element for her. Something more profound. Something she’d done her best to ignore.
Something that was all about emotion.
She could ignore it no longer. Not when it sliced her in two, knowing Asim relegated her to the role of sexual partner. Or was the word ‘mistress’ when the man you slept with ruled a country?
With strength she hadn’t known she possessed, Jacqui ripped herself from his hold and surged to her feet, stumbling out of his reach. She pressed a hand to her roiling stomach where her lunch threatened to rise.
‘Thank you for explaining where I stand.’ Her words were sharp as broken glass. ‘It’s good to have it spelled out.’ It wasn’t good; it was a raw, bleeding wound that made her want to curl up in a ball and die.
‘Jacqueline?’ Asim looked astonished. Was he really so sure she would be content with his scenario? Of course he was. She’d fallen into his arms like a ripe plum.