‘So I’m good enough for an affair but not for anything more lasting. Just a bit of sex on the side.’ Fury warred with hurt.
He catapulted to his feet. His dumbfounded look would have made her laugh if her throat hadn’t seized up.
‘It’s not like that!’
‘Isn’t it?’ Her hands found her hips through the towel swathed around her. Out of the depths of her anguish came a strength she hadn’t known she possessed. It ran like fire through her veins, urging her on to blast him with the truth.
‘If it’s not like that, then let me suggest an alternative arrangement. Instead of testing all those aristocratic beauties, why not marry me?’
Her pulse thudded so loud she could barely hear herself speak but she refused to back down.
‘I can offer something they can’t. I’m in love with you.’
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
IN LOVE?
Asim formed the words but no sound escaped.
His eyes bulged and something slammed into his chest. Dazed, he looked down but there was nothing, no projectile, no wound. Yet it felt like he’d been shot. He felt the impact spreading through his torso, a shockwave that would have floored him if he’d been standing.
In love.
The words conjured every nightmare memory. They were his worst fear made real.
Jacqueline was speaking. He watched her lips move, heard a harsh rip of sound, but couldn’t make out the words.
He stared into her flushed face and read the fierce intensity of her amber gaze. Anguish and defiance glittered in equal measure, flaying him where he sat.
What had he done?
An instant later he was on his feet, stalking to the door, then the window, then back.
She was silent now, looking at him with huge, shadowed eyes.
‘You don’t mean it.’ She couldn’t.
But Jacqueline didn’t play games. From the first she’d been open, not coy. What you saw was what you got. No feminine wiles.
She stood watching him, her eyes too big in her face, her damp hair tousled round her shoulders and a bulky towel wrapped around her slim body. Yet she looked more regal than any of the aristocratic women his advisors had selected.
She looked at him as if he was something unsavoury she’d inadvertently stepped in.
‘I don’t say what I don’t mean.’ That throaty voice played havoc with him.
Asim shook his head, trying to clear it, telling himself there’d been a mistake.
There’d been a mistake all right!
He’d been so caught up in his need for her, giving in to the fever of attraction, he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her. Even when he’d realised how little sexual experience she had.
Instead of pulling back or taking time to make the ground rules clear, he’d thrown himself into their affair with a single-mindedness he couldn’t remember experiencing.
But Jacqueline wasn’t like his usual lovers— experienced, sophisticated, ready to move on when the time came, even if some of them had been a little wistful.
Jacqueline was from a different mould.
They said women confused sex and love. Was that what had happened? Perhaps she’d imprinted some fanciful, romantic dream on him because he’d been the one to open her eyes to sensual pleasure.
Asim swiped his hand over his jaw, the rasp of stubble loud in the aching silence.
Why hadn’t he taken better precautions? This was the sort of emotional minefield he’d sought to avoid all his life.
Perhaps because he hadn’t wanted to know what she felt, in case it meant leaving her before he was ready?
Guilt thwacked him across the chest. But there was indignation too. He’d never once intimated their affair might turn into something permanent. He hadn’t encouraged such notions.
But nor had he taken the precautions he should have.
‘I’m sorry, Jacqueline.’
The colour bled from her face, making her smattering of freckles stand out. She didn’t look regal now. She looked like a kid who’d been bullied. Or a woman dealt a fatal blow.
Instinctively he started towards her, his gut burning with guilt, but she shoved out a hand, palm towards him.
‘No!’ She gulped. ‘Don’t.’
Asim watched her breasts jump with each jagged breath. Each scrape of her breath scored his conscience.
He’d been intent on pleasure and she’d been...
Hell!
He spun away to pace the room.
‘I never meant this to happen.’
‘So you don’t love me.’ Her voice was surprisingly strong. He turned to find her backed up against the window, as if trying to get as far as possible from him. His belly cramped on the thought.
But he couldn’t lie. ‘I already told you. Love isn’t for me. I’ve seen too much of the damage it does.’