‘Why?’
He saw her reticence. Wondered why he was probing when he never intended to get as personal himself.
After a minute, she answered. ‘Because turning eighteen meant I could make my own decisions, get myself away from...situations I didn’t like.’
Rafael knew she wouldn’t elaborate more than that. He respected that but it didn’t stop him from speculating. And the directions his thoughts led him made his fist tighten on his armchair.
Raven’s attitude towards sex and to him in particular had always puzzled him, not because of the women who had fallen over their feet to get to him since he’d shot up and grown broader shoulders at sixteen.
No, what had always intrigued him was the naked attraction he saw in her eyes, coupled with the fortress she put in place to ensure that attraction never got acted upon.
It didn’t take a genius to know something had happened to make her that way. Her little morsel of information pointed to something in her childhood. He tensed, suddenly deciding to hell with respecting her boundaries.
‘What happened to you? Were you abused?’ he rasped, his fingernails digging into the armrest.
She froze. Darkened eyes shot to his before she glanced out of the porthole. When she returned her gaze to his, the haunted look had receded but not altogether disappeared. ‘Have you ever heard of the term—the gift of the gab?’
He nodded.
‘Well, my father could make the world’s most famous orators look like amateurs. His silver tongue could charm an atom into splitting, so the term abuse never could stick, especially if the social worker who dealt with any allegation happened to be a woman. So technically, no, I wasn’t abused.’
His teeth gritted so hard his jaw ached. Inhaling deeply, he forced himself to relax. ‘What the hell did he do to you?’
She blinked, looked around as if realising where they were, or rather who she was with. Her features closed into neutral and she snapped the pen back out. Lowering her gaze, she snatched up her papers from her lap and tapped them into a neat sheaf. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m no longer in that situation.’
Rafael almost laughed. Almost told her being out of the situation didn’t mean she was out of its control. The past had tentacles that stretched to infinity. He was in the prime place to know.
His father...his mother. Not a day went by that the memories didn’t burn behind his retinas—a permanent reminder only death would wipe away. They plagued him in his wakeful hours and followed him into his nightmares. He could never get away from what he’d done to them. No matter how far he went, how much he drank or how many women he let use his body.
‘I’ve revised the regime.’ Raven interrupted his thoughts, her tone crisp, businesslike. Her lightly glossed lips were set in a firm line and her whole demeanour shrieked step back in a way that made him want to reach across and ruffle her.
Grateful for something else to focus on rather than his dark past, he settled deeper into his seat and just watched her.
She flicked a glance at him and returned her gaze to the papers. ‘I’ve ensured that we’ll have a clear hour every morning for a thorough physio session. You already know that if you sit or stand for extended periods of time your body will seize up so I’ll recommend some simple exercises for when you’re in meetings, although the ideal situation would be for you not to be in meetings for extended periods.’
‘I’ll see about scheduling video conferences for some of the meetings.’
Her head snapped up, surprise reflected in her gaze. ‘You will?’
‘Don’t sound so surprised. My boundless vanity draws the line at cutting my nose off to spite my face. You should know that by now.’
‘If you can video conference, then why do you need to be there in the first place?’
‘Like any other organisation, there’s always a hotshot usurper waiting in the wings, ready to push you off into the great abyss at the slightest hint of weakness. I’ve grown attached to my pedestal.’
‘You speak as if you’re decrepit.’
‘I haven’t had sex in months. I feel decrepit. And with your decree of no sex, I feel as if my life has no purpose.’
‘You mean you miss your fans and just want to resume basking in their admiration?’
‘I’m a simple man, Raven. I love feeling wanted.’
Her lips compressed again, although he saw the shadows had faded from beneath her eyes and her colour had returned to her cheeks. He barely stopped himself from feeling inordinately pleased by the achievement.
She stared down again at the sheet in her hand. ‘Why Monaco?’
‘Why not? It’s the glamour capital of motor racing. Most of the current and ex-drivers live there. It affords the best platform for the launch of the All-Star event.’