Her glance flashed to his hand on her arm and he let her go.
‘What happened to our child, Karina?’ he said. ‘What happened to my baby?’
‘There is no child.’ Her voice sounded faint and far away. She was shaking so much she didn’t recognise herself. She had imagined this scene so many times, and had even planned how she would phrase the words Dante must hear, but there were no words, she discovered now.
‘Karina.’
She looked up to see Dante’s expression had changed. Bringing her in front of him, he asked in a far gentler tone, ‘Can you tell me what happened?’
‘I lost the baby.’
She pressed her lips together as if that could stop it being true as silence swept over them again, holding them tight in its unfeeling grasp.
He wasn’t sure how long they remained standing together, frozen and barely breathing as they stared at each other. ‘You were pregnant,’ he managed at last. All his anger and impatience with Karina had gone, leaving him feeling completely numb.
Her eyes searched his. ‘I couldn’t tell you, because you were away, and because—’ Her mouth snapped closed again, and she shook her head as if it was too painful to go on. After a few moments had passed she drew a deep, shaking breath and continued. ‘There were many reasons why I didn’t get in touch with you, and by the time I saw you again it was over, and there didn’t seem much point.’
‘Much point?’ he echoed softly, still trying to come to terms with what she’d told him.
‘No point in upsetting you,’ she explained.
He relaxed his grip on her arms and stood back. ‘You should have told me. You can’t keep something like that to yourself. Who was there to help you?’
The answer was in her eyes.
‘You told no one? Not even Luc? I would have been there for you if I’d known. I would have cancelled anything to be there for you.’ It was a fight for him to keep rock solid as her eyes filled with tears. ‘Yes, this has been a shock,’ he admitted, ‘and it would have been a shock then. I was younger. I was wild. But I was never uncaring. You should never have had to go through that alone.’
Actions had consequences, his conscience told him. This he knew, but what Karina had just told him was worse than anything he had imagined. How young she’d been—just eighteen. He’d been twenty-two—and reckless. But Karina had been alone with no one to confide in. Not that she would have done so anyway, he guessed grimly. She would hardly have told Luc, and if he had been around, would she have told him? Karina had always prided herself on standing on her own two feet, and she would have viewed explanations as a plea for help.
‘I don’t know what I could have done to help you,’ he admitted. ‘I was different back then—selfish and wild—and I know how independent you’ve always been, but I still can’t believe you had to go through this on your own.’
She looked away and he knew he’d lost her.
‘This was a mistake,’ she said, confirming his fears. ‘I shouldn’t have told you. What’s the point?’
‘You’re wrong,’ he argued firmly. ‘There’s every point. What happened was my responsibility as much as yours.’
‘No.’ Her eyes blazed briefly. ‘I don’t need your counsel, Dante. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I’ve told you everything you need to know. Now, please...don’t mention it again.’
But had she told him everything? The look on her face, the flicker in her eyes told him she hadn’t. ‘Karina?’
‘No,’ she flared, pushing his hand away. ‘I miscarried, something that happens to many women, the doctors told me.’
‘Don’t,’ he warned quietly as her face turned grim and still. ‘Don’t try to dismiss this as if it means nothing to you, when I can see that it’s breaking your heart.’
‘I don’t know what you’re waiting for me to say,’ she blazed.
The thought that there was more than this—more that she wouldn’t tell him—tore him up inside. They’d been friends. They’d shared everything. And now, just when she needed someone, whether she knew it or not, Karina was turning her back on him.
‘I know you,’ he said quietly. ‘I know that even at eighteen, if things had worked out and you’d had the child, you would have coped. As it was, you handled the tragedy and came through it alone.’