‘It wasn’t so fast,’ he argued, frowning. ‘We were close in Brazil.’
‘Friends,’ she conceded. ‘You liked teasing me.’
‘Yes, I did. And, as I remember it, you liked it too.’
She shrugged, slanting him a smile, but refused to comment.
‘My grandfather was delusional, Danny. Don’t you think after the childhood I experienced I would want to do something better for my children? I certainly wouldn’t risk any child of mine growing up thinking I’d bought it. And you...’ He paused and looked at her steadily. ‘You’re a very special woman, and someone I’m proud to call my wife.’
‘If you could pull out of our deal, though, would you?’
He frowned. ‘This is no longer a deal, Danny.’
‘But it still feels like one to me.’
‘So what can I do to change that?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly. ‘I’ve never wanted anything from you in the material sense, but it was part of the deal. Maybe I can’t live with that. Maybe my problem is with me and my judgement, not you. My only thought was to secure my mother’s future and buy my own establishment. I couldn’t see further than that. I didn’t once think about the true cost...’
‘You wanted to spread your wings,’ he argued hotly. ‘There’s nothing wrong with that, and you still can. You want to taste adventure? It’s right here.’
He had thought he was getting through to her, but instead of moving towards him she moved back towards her horse and mounted up.
‘I need more,’ she said softly. ‘I need to prove myself before I have anything to offer you.’
He opened his arms in a gesture of surrender. ‘You’re so wrong. You don’t have to prove anything to me. But, please, keep the money. You’re going to need it if you go. Take it for your mother—make her secure. Give yourself a future, Danny.’
‘I wanted you,’ she said. ‘I wanted your love. I wanted a life together.’
‘And you can have it.’
‘But how can I be sure that there won’t be another time when you hide something from me in the mistaken belief that you’re protecting me?’
‘You can’t,’ he said bluntly, resting his hand on the neck of her horse. ‘I won’t commit to a promise I’m not certain I can keep. If you need protecting I’m going to do that, whatever you have to say about it.’
He tensed as she turned her horse for home.
‘So you’re just going to give up? You’re not even going to fight for us?’
‘For us?’ she said, gathering up her reins. ‘There is no “us”, Tiago. There never has been. And, as you say, I have a life to lead and so do you.’
‘But I love you.’
* * *
Tiago loved her. But her own feelings were in turmoil. She owed it to both of them to sort herself out... Would this ever work out?
‘At least think it through,’ Tiago insisted. ‘You don’t have to go right away. You’ve been just as cut off from emotion as I have, but if the last half-hour is anything to go by we’ve unlocked something in each other. Don’t throw that away, Danny.’
She’d hurt him and she didn’t know how to make it right, Danny thought as Tiago brought his horse alongside hers. She blamed herself. She should never have agreed to such a cold-blooded agreement. It had never been going to turn out well. She should have been content to stay where she was, with her heart in one piece.
‘Where will you go? What will you do?’ he said.
‘I’ll go back to Scotland and get a job.’
‘Your qualifications are excellent,’ Tiago agreed, as if he thought it was a good idea—or was that her insecurity talking again? ‘With your experience it shouldn’t be hard to find work. But don’t settle for just anything.’
‘Stop worrying about me, Tiago. My decisions aren’t all flawed. I’ll rebuild my life and move forward.’
‘I have no doubt you will, but I can’t see how going back to Rottingdean is moving forward.’
‘Maybe you’re right. But I’m never going backwards again.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
HE RODE OUT with his collar turned up against the persistent drizzle, his jaw tightly clenched at the prospect of returning to an empty house.