Claimed for Makarov's Baby
Page 50
‘Yes,’ he said emphatically. ‘I would. Because I’ve come to realise that you are the perfect woman for me.’
Erin blinked because now hope was refusing to listen to her reservations. It was hurtling through her body like a runaway train and flattening everything in its track. ‘I am?’
His icy eyes glittered. ‘Indeed you are. I like the way that you don’t try to manipulate me or covet my money, or possessions.’ He paused. ‘And, of course, you drive me wild in bed. Wilder than I ever thought possible, zvezda moya.’
‘And that’s enough?’
‘No, it is not. But you have another attribute which is rare. So rare that I have never found it before. The silver bullet, if you like—which is that you don’t love me. You don’t believe in love. Well, neither do I.’ He smiled. ‘Now, isn’t that just a match made in heaven?’
Her knees went weak and Erin only just managed to stop herself from crumpling as she listened to his cruel parody of a marriage proposal. Everything a man was traditionally supposed to say at a time like this, he had twisted round. He had made dark what was supposed to be light. He had projected a future which would make their proposed union into nothing but a mockery. A pastiche of a marriage, which would be little better than the one which had ruined his own life.
‘And you think that’s the kind of example I want to set my son?’ she questioned, her voice trembling with a hurt she could no longer hide. ‘That I want him growing up with two people who are proud of never experiencing an emotion which has driven the human race since the beginning of time?’
‘I didn’t say I was proud of it.’
‘I don’t care what you said,’ she hissed, aware that her sense of logic was haemorrhaging by the second.
‘And I don’t understand either your outrage or your objections,’ he snapped. ‘You were happy enough to marry Chico for financial security, weren’t you? When we both know he wasn’t offering you half the benefits you could get from me.’
‘You’re disgusting,’ she snapped as she heard the unmistakable sexual allusion which had roughened his voice. Did he really think that could sway her? That his skill between the sheets would make her forget all her principles? She shook her head. ‘I don’t need a heartless man to bankroll the life I want for Leo and me. I can achieve what I need all by myself, Dimitri, and what’s more—I’m going to. There’s nothing to stop us moving out of London and going to live in a cheaper part of England. There’s a whole lot of beautiful countryside just waiting out there.’
‘But think how much easier it would be with me behind you.’
‘But that’s where you’re completely wrong.’ She shook her head as she stared at him, aware of the crackling fire and the heavy beat of her heart. ‘Because I’ve suddenly discovered a fundamental flaw in my own argument.’
‘I don’t understand,’ he said coldly.
Maybe because she was only just beginning to understand herself. She sucked in a deep breath, realising that she was laying everything on the line here. But why run from the truth any more? Surely it was better to feel something rather than nothing. To live rather than to exist. Because Dimitri had been right about one thing and that was that you couldn’t protect yourself against being hurt. That being hurt was part of life itself.
‘I thought I didn’t believe in love,’ she said slowly. ‘But the irony is that somewhere along the way I’ve fallen in love with you, Dimitri. I didn’t want to. I still don’t want to—because you’re the last man in the world any sane woman would choose to be in love with. You’re cold and you’re heartless and you don’t give out your trust very easily. But don’t they say that the heart takes no prisoners? I started loving you a long time ago, and, no matter how hard I’ve tried to get you out of my system, it seems that none of my methods have worked.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘Oh, don’t worry—I’m not asking you to reciprocate, because I realise you can’t. But obviously I can’t marry you under these circumstances. It wouldn’t be fair—not to you, nor to me and especially not to Leo.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because unrequited love doesn’t work,’ she said impatiently. ‘It’s a recipe for disaster—everyone knows that! And love doesn’t really last. All the books say it changes once all that new sex wears off.’
‘But hasn’t your parents’ love affair lasted?’