Larenzo's Christmas Baby

It was early December and the leaves had fallen, leaving the trees in the park bare, their stark branches silhouetted against a bright blue sky. Emma took a few photographs: the Bethesda fountain with its basin covered in a thin, glassy film of ice; the Mall, its cobblestones glittering with frost, the park benches that lined either side all empty; a rowboat that had come loose from its moorings and now drifted, empty, in the middle of the lake, bumping against the chunks of ice.

When Ava started grizzling from the cold, Emma headed back to the apartment. To her surprise Larenzo was home even though it was only a little after five. The sun was already starting to set, sending long, golden rays across the living room floor.

Emma unbuckled Ava from her stroller and peeled off her puffy snowsuit; her daughter immediately started toddling towards Larenzo, her arms outstretched.

‘I didn’t think you’d be back yet,’ Emma said. ‘I haven’t started dinner.’

‘It’s fine.’ Larenzo scooped Ava up into his arms and nuzzled his face against her hair. Emma watched, a tightness growing in her chest. Would she ever get used to these unguarded moments when she saw so clearly how Larenzo loved his daughter? When his tenderness made her melt inside, and long for something she didn’t think Larenzo had it in him to give her?

‘I came home early because I wanted to talk to you,’ Larenzo said, and he sounded so serious that Emma’s heart seemed to flip right over. She didn’t know whether to be excited or afraid.

As Larenzo put Ava back down and swivelled to her with an intent, sombre gaze she decided to be afraid.

‘Is...is everything okay?’

‘What?’ He looked surprised, and his expression cleared a bit. ‘Yes. Fine. Everything is fine.’

‘It’s just you were looking so serious.’

‘No, no.’ He ran a hand through his hair, rumpling it as he always did, his gaze distracted now. ‘No, nothing’s wrong. It’s only there is a party I have to go to tomorrow night, an opening gala for a research company that is pioneering a new technology. A lot of people will be there, people I need to meet.’

‘Okay,’ Emma said after a brief pause. ‘I suppose I can manage on my own for a night.’ She’d meant it as a joke but Larenzo didn’t even crack a smile. He looked even more serious than before.

‘The thing is,’ he said, ‘I wondered if you would be willing to go with me.’

Emma’s jaw nearly dropped. ‘Go with you?’

‘I can hire a babysitter, someone who is more than competent, and we don’t have to leave until Ava is asleep.’

‘Why do you want me to go with you?’ Emma asked, and then could have kicked herself. Was she trying to get him to rescind the invitation?

He hesitated and then answered, ‘I think it would be better if I bring someone to events such as this one.’

‘Better? How?’

He sighed and raked his hand through his hair again. ‘After everything that has happened, people still wonder if I was involved in criminal activity. I’m trying to build people’s confidence and trust, and I think attending an event with you, the mother of my child, would help with that.’

Emma blinked, stung more than she wanted to reveal to Larenzo, or even to admit to herself. ‘Well, at least you’re being honest,’ she said tartly.

Larenzo stared at her, a frown furrowing his forehead. ‘You’re angry.’

‘Why should I be angry?’ Emma countered, even though she didn’t actually want Larenzo to answer that question. She was angry because for a moment her hopes had sailed sky-high as she’d thought Larenzo was actually asking her out on a date. She’d believed he wanted to be with her. But no, he was just using her as a way to restore his image, just as Meghan had once suggested. The realisation was bitter.

‘I don’t know why you should be angry,’ Larenzo answered in that toneless voice Emma knew he used to mask his annoyance. ‘I’m asking you to go to a party, that’s all.’

That’s all. ‘Thanks for clearing that up,’ she retorted and Larenzo spread his hands, clearly bewildered.

‘What is wrong, Emma?’

‘Nothing,’ she replied, and blew out a breath. She was being unreasonable, she knew, by acting offended by Larenzo’s invitation. He didn’t know how she felt, how she wanted him to feel. ‘Nothing,’ she repeated, and lifted her camera from where it had been hanging around her neck.