I’d copped to Lauren’s jealousy and insecurity early on and had gone out of my way to squelch such behavior from others. Anyone who showed too much interest in me I shied away from, and we found a nice new balance.
Suddenly I felt something twist and turn in my gut as my eyes left the scene of the crime where I’d almost lost my life just a few short hours ago and shifted to the basketball hoop that was still barely hanging from above the garage door. I remember it now, the day she told me she was going to marry me. It can’t be, this is nuts.
Derrick
It’s hard reconciling the scrawny little kid who used to follow me around with the big eyes with the woman-child I’ve met in the last few months. And why the hell am I thinking about this shit again? Especially at a time like this?
It’s the damn pills, I’ve never been good with prescription meds, anything stronger then ibuprofen and I’m no use to anyone. They were kicking in as I stepped out of the car, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I keeled over.
“I shouldn’t have taken those pills. I need to see my kids.”
“The doctor said you need them or you’d be in worse shape. Don’t worry about the girls; once I put you to bed, your dad and I will walk over and get them. Jenny took them in the double stroller earlier.”
There’s her damn name again. I guess I shouldn’t think like that after all she’d saved not only me but my kids as well. But I can’t help but wonder if any of this would’ve happened without her being in the picture?
I’m not blaming her for Lauren’s actions, but maybe her presence was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You’re being a real asshole here, aren’t you D? You gonna blame that on the pills as well? Oh yeah, another added side bennie of taking pills is the conversations I have with myself. Mom literally walked me up the stairs and put me to bed. I was out before she left the room.
JENNY
I was anxious for news about how Derrick was doing even though his mom had called a few hours ago while they were still at the hospital. Now she was on her way here with her husband to pick up the girls who’d just woken up from their nap.
I didn’t want to seem too anxious, but I made tracks in the floor going back and forth to the door until they came. I had the door snatched open before they’d made it all the way up the walks.
“Bless you, Jenny; you’ve been a huge help. Let me pay you for your time.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m glad to help. How is he…?” My voice was too panicked, too invested, and I pulled back when she gave me a knowing smile.
“I mean, how is Mr. Masters, is he going to be okay?” Derrick’s dad had been busy strapping Emma and Sara into their stroller but looked up at me with a soft, gentle smile. He’d always been like that, like an older version of his son, so amiable.
“What’s this little Jenny? Don’t tell me my son has you calling him mister. Why you practically grew up in his shadow, mister indeed. My wife just put him to bed, the meds are kicking in, I figure he’d be down for a few hours at least.”
That reminded me of another issue we’d overlooked. “Mrs. Masters, I didn’t have a chance to look, but is there any milk for the girls?” Her eyes widened as she too realized that in a few hours, she was going to have a couple of screaming kids on her hands.
“Drats, I totally forgot about that. What’re we gonna do? How do you get that milk from the hospital? You know, the one some women donate?”
“I’m not sure; I think you might have to be on some kind of list, though.”
An idea came to me as we threw around ideas, and I asked her to wait at the house while I made a few calls. “In the meantime, maybe we should see about getting some formula for them, they’re old enough to take it; I think, but it might take getting used to.”
She nodded her head and walked down the driveway after waving goodbye while I headed inside to make that call. It was a long shot, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. One of the women I babysit for just had another baby two months ago. What world am I in now? How did I get here in the middle of the abyss?
No matter, I’ll be writing about this too in my little memory book, because each part of the puzzle has meaning. It doesn’t matter that I can’t be in his life, that I can’t have him, as long as I can be there for him in his time of need, I’ll let that be enough. For now.