Now that we were alone, I found myself feeling nervous. I haven’t been nervous about anything since high school. I can’t believe this girl was making me feel like this. I was afraid that if I made the wrong or she’d disappear.
“You ready to answer some of those questions I asked you earlier?” She tore a piece of steaming hot naan and passed it to me.
“Not really, I think we should just leave the past where it is and start over, if…if that’s what you want.”
That falter was the first sign of insecurity I’ve seen in her since I dragged her out of her house earlier. This was another side to her, one I was more familiar with, the quietly reserved doe in the woods.
“I want to be sure. I wanna jump you every time I look at you, in fact, I’ve been hard all evening, but I think you deserve a hell of a lot more than what I’ve given you so far and if we want this thing to work then we’re going to have to take it one step at a time; even if it kills me.” I said the last part beneath my breath, but she still heard.
“Who are you unsure of? Me, or yourself?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said you needed to be sure, so I’m asking. Don’t you know your own mind, or are you afraid after all that just happened? Do you think one day I’ll turn into her?”
This girl, so straightforward and in your face, I don’t think I know anyone else quite like that. “Well, Jenny, I’m pretty sure I know what I want at this point. I want to fuck you. I want to relive everything we did that night and remember every second of it. But is that what’s best for you?”
“Why don’t you let me think about what’s best for me?”
“What’re you saying?”
“Derrick, when I was a little girl following you around, it wasn’t because you were an angel. I knew you better than I think anyone else did. There were times I think you even forgot that I was there. Like the time you and Susie Cameron was in the pool-house out back.”
“Who?”
“Exactly. You don’t even remember her name. I don’t think you’ll forget mine again, but that’s another story.” I vaguely remembered the name, but the one thing I didn’t forget is the fact that there was only one reason I used to take girls back there.
“You spied on me, fucking?” She choked on her fancy water while I sat there in disbelief.
“I didn’t know that’s what you were going to be doing when I followed you there. But boy, did I get an eyeful that day.”
“You watched?”
“Not the whole thing. But I did sit beneath the window and listened.” I glared at her, which she totally ignored.
“Perv.”
“I was eight years old. What do you want from me?”
“Any other instances of you perving on me?”
“It’s all you did between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, and since I followed you everywhere….” She shrugged her shoulders.
“It just goes to show how invisible I was to you; you never even noticed me.” She pouted and picked at a piece of carrot in her salad. Looking sexy as fuck with her bottom lick stuck out. I wanted to nibble her right there.
“If I’d noticed your jailbait ass, I’d be in prison all like now. You were eight years old Jenny, what the fuck did you want me to do?”
“You have a point, but I still didn’t like those girls. I wanted to smash their faces in. And then there was that Marcy Deleon, you went out with her the longest.”
She gave me the evil eye, and I leaned over and snatched her from her chair onto my lap.
“You’re not invisible now. I’ll never overlook you again, promise.” I kissed her nose and felt heat wash over me at her soft laugh.
“What else did you do that I don’t know about? Please tell me you never made it to my bedroom because if you think what I used to get up to in the pool house was bad, you’d have been scarred for life if you’d ever seen the action in there.” I can’t believe she actually did that shit.
“You were a wild one that’s for sure. But after the accident, you changed. I wanted to tell you it wasn’t your fault, but I knew you wouldn’t hear me. If I’d known what a mess you would make of your life, I would’ve said something anyway.”
“Hey!” The little shit grinned and popped a piece of chicken in my mouth with her fingers. She likes to eat with her hands; according to her, it’s how some cultures do it. She would know, from what I’ve gathered so far from the first half of our conversation before I decided to bring out the big guns, she’s been all over the world.