Jenny (Babysitter's Club 5)

Apparently, that’s what she’d been doing all those summers and holidays I came home, and she wasn’t my shadow. “As I was saying, I learned all I know about sex that wasn’t in a textbook from you. Who knew that years later, you would make a mess of my virginity.” Damn, she’s harsh.

“Are you saying you followed me around because of my dick?” She opened eyes wide in that mocking way, and her voice went little girl soft.

“It was so big, and the girls were always screaming, but no, that’s not why, that was just a side benefit.” I can’t believe what I’m hearing—fucking tease.

“How do you know how big it is? I thought you said you didn’t watch?”

“I saw it before I knew what ‘it’ was or what you were about to do with it, of course. Then I went home and looked on the Internet for cross-references.” She giggled and looked me dead in the face. “You little shit.” She shrugged her shoulders and carried on.

“I was just keeping tabs on my future husband. I picked up some pointers, but I think you’ve changed up your technique a whole lot.”

“Geez, I can’t believe this conversation.”

“Why? Because women aren’t supposed to be bold like that?”

“No, because you’re just full of surprises, that’s all. I like the fact that you’re honest with me. I’m just having a hard time understanding how you could be so completely different. I mean, when I first met you after moving back, you were so…withdrawn, I didn’t think you even knew how to smile or talk in more than one-word answers. And you always looked so disinterested in everything around you.”

“It’s called self-preservation, Mr. Masters. When I first saw you-you didn’t even recognize me.”

“Well, Jenny, that’s because when I left, you were a scrawny little twig. Now you’re…” My eyes went to her breasts, which were looking very edible beneath the black tight-fitting V-neck sweater she had on. She had a twinkle in her eye when mine finally made their way back to hers.

“I’m what?”

“Listen, Jenny, I don’t want you to get hurt, and I certainly don’t want to be the one to cause you any more pain. Are you sure you want this with me? I’m a divorced man with two kids; you’re eighteen.” Just saying the words out loud made the whole thing seem preposterous.

“Derrick, you could’ve been anything short of a serial killer, and you’d still be my Derrick. But you’ll excuse me if I choose to ignore the last eight years of your life, except for the girls, of course.”

“So anything past eighteen.”

“Yes, because that’s when you changed, but you were gone away to college, and I didn’t see how much. I want this with you, but I want my Derrick back. I want that bold sure of himself cocky guy that everybody used to want to be around.”

“That guy who had more confidence in his little finger than most people have, altogether. The guy who used to make me feel that as long as I was with him, I was safe. The one who made my knees weak and my heart sing. The one I never stopped loving even when he broke my heart.”

Damn, she wants pretty much the same thing I do, to find myself again. Here I thought I needed to wear kid gloves to handle her with care to make up for the shitty way I’ve treated her up until now. Meanwhile she’s fucking years ahead of the program.

“Are you sure that you love me? That you’re not just fascinated with an ideal you have of me from childhood?” She looked into my eyes; no fear, no hesitation.

“I wouldn’t be here now if I wasn’t sure.”

Jenny

I’m nervous as hell. I mean every word I say to him but I know that what happens tonight will decide where we go from here. I know that if he keeps thinking that his mess up was too big, that he’d hurt me too much and have to make some grand effort that it’ll take forever.

I want to just cut through all the bullshit and get us to where we would’ve been had our lives not been interrupted. I want the dream. And though I’d been willing to lick my wounds and walk a different path when he was married, there’s no way I’m stepping back now that he’s free. I’d be a fool if I did that.

We’re working at cross-purposes here though him and I. He thinks he needs to start over, to woo me and make up for the way he treated me. And I’m already past that. “You told me you would marry me when I turned eighteen. I’ve been eighteen for six months already. Get your shit together.”

I like shocking him, making him laugh at the unexpectedness of the words that come out of my mouth. It’s been hell keeping this side of myself hidden from him. Not that I’m always this bold and forthcoming with others, but this is the way I’ve always seen the two of us together.