‘She had been there for more than a day—just lying there on the bed. A week’s worth of sleeping pills in her stomach. All of the staff had been sent away in one of her rages. They’d tried to call my father but he was on a yacht somewhere with one of his mistresses.’
Dara stood up and walked over to him, touching his shoulder to find he was deathly cold. ‘There was nothing you could have done. Mental illness is not something that can be cured by a son’s love.’
‘I don’t remember feeling anything towards my mother other than fear. From six years old I knew that she was ill. I’d learned to adapt. And the day of her funeral, standing there and watching them slide her casket into the tomb...’ He turned to look at her, genuine anguish hardening his features. ‘I honestly felt like a dead weight had been lifted from my shoulders. There was always a fear in me—even after I went away to school. I always feared she would come back for me. She truly hated me. And as I looked into my father’s eyes I saw that exact same relief and I knew she had been right. I was exactly like him.’
‘Leo, your mother was ill. People in that kind of mental state can see things very differently to reality.’
‘When the ceremony was over I watched him finish off his cigar and mash it into the ground outside the crypt. I felt something bubble up inside of me like never before. I had always strived to be the best, to get his approval. I’d always wanted him to notice me. He wasn’t ill—he didn’t have any excuse for his behaviour. I walked up to him and asked him why he never did anything to help her. He shook his head and said he couldn’t control her personality. She was weak and had brought shame on our family name. By keeping it secret he’d spared her a lot of embarrassment. So I punched him square in the jaw and walked away. I decided that I might look like him but I would never be as heartless as he was.’
‘So that’s why you sold his company? Revenge?’
‘Childish, maybe.’ He shrugged, sitting down behind her and pulling her back against his chest.
‘It wasn’t childish. He didn’t deserve your respect, Leo.’
Dara felt his warmth against her back, this marvellous man who had opened her eyes to so many things. He lived life to the fullest and disregarded the rules in order to escape all of this. Underneath the charming bad boy was someone who just wanted to be cared about.
The thought was almost too much to bear. She was beginning to care for him too much, and the feeling scared her. Knowing that he was just as damaged as she was made it harder to think of their relationship as it was. This new closeness between them was complicating things, tangling up her emotions in knots.
Leo held Dara in his arms and attempted to process the feelings trying to burst through his chest. He was thirty-three years old and this was the first time he had ever spoken about his upbringing to anybody. What was it about this woman that had made him want to lay himself bare?
His past was something that had always been buried in a deep crevice of his mind, filled with shame and confusion. But now, after saying it all out loud and hearing her say he was normal... He felt lighter than he had in years. The memories of fear were suddenly just that—old memories.
For the first time he felt entirely present in the moment, in this boathouse, with this woman in his arms. He felt as if he could stay still with her and not feel afraid. As if this was a safe place to stay for a little while—maybe even longer.
* * *
Later that night Leo stood in the doorway of the master bedroom while Dara slept soundly. When the call from his Paris club had awoken him he had debated on whether to wake her. But after another night of marathon lovemaking he’d decided to let her sleep. She had been working hard on the castello by day and spending each night in his bed. She deserved some quality sleep.
The Platinum club in Paris had got into some legal difficulty with licensing, and he was required there before midday to meet with his team of advisers. The jet was ready and he needed to leave as soon as possible. The realisation that he didn’t want to leave made him all the more intent to go. He needed some head space to process the events of the past few weeks.
For so long he had been someone who avoided emotional entanglements and kept his affairs at a distance. He had bared far too much to her yesterday. She had every right to call time on whatever it was that they were doing. She hadn’t signed up for a no-strings fling with an emotional wreck.
Dara’s eyes fluttered open just as he moved to walk out through the door.