“Merry Christmas to you, too, Cullen. I’m always working. No rest for the weary and all that hogwash. Listen, I’m calling with semi-good news. It’s not exactly the big present from Santa that the kids are hoping for, but it’s a start. I wanted to run it by you and see what you think.”
“What do you have for me, Cam?”
Elevator doors opened, but Cullen turned around and walked back to his office, where he could talk to Cam privately.
“Like I said, it’s not exactly the news you were hoping for, but I’ve found a family that is interested in adopting the two youngest girls.”
Cullen watched the snow fall from his office window as he digested the attorney’s words.
“The family lives in Oklahoma City. That’s about a three-hour drive from Celebration.”
“They’re not interested in taking all four? Keeping them together is a priority.”
“Right, but so was placing them before the school session reconvenes after the holidays. Right now this is the best I can do. We might be able to find an Oklahoma-based foster family that’s willing to take in the older two. But at least the younger two will be settled by the first of the year and won’t have to be uprooted after they start school.”
Cullen was silent. What was he supposed to say? “This isn’t optimum, Cam.”
The attorney heaved a weary sigh. “I know, I know. But I have to level with you, Cullen. It’s a long shot thinking you’re going to find a family that will take all four of them. More than a long shot. It’s pretty close to impossible. At least with the time constraints. If you’re willing to keep them or put them in foster care while we search, that’s a different story. Even so, it’s not an easy row to hoe.
“Why don’t you think about it, or talk to the kids, see how they feel about it and give me a call back? Kids are resilient.”
“Thanks, Cam. I’ll be in touch.”
The snow was falling like tears from heaven when Cullen hung up the phone. If he thought having kids was difficult, making the decision whether or not to give them up was excruciating.
He was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. And to think it had all started with an off-the-cuff promise to a little girl. Now their fate was in his hands.
What kind of Christmas would it be if he told the kids he was splitting them up? They would be devastated and Lily would never forgive him. But this decision was about what was best for the kids.
The only thing he knew for sure was that he was going to wait until after Christmas to tell them. He wanted them to have this holiday as a family, without any added stress or sadness. It was the least he could do.
* * *
On Christmas morning, the six of them gathered around the Christmas tree. Lily had taken care to set out Santa’s presents and wrap the remaining gifts as beautifully as possible. She’d purchased several small gifts for each child so the tree would look festive and the kids would have fun opening lots of presents.
She and Cullen had been like ships passing each other since their conversation on Sunday. He’d been gone a lot, which made it easier. She didn’t see how this was going to end any other way than badly.
She was glad he was willing to wait until after Christmas for them to have the talk. Today, she put on a cheerful face. She was going to make darn sure neither of them tripped over the elephant in the room.
She’d even gotten him a Christmas present. A crystal decanter etched with his initials. He hadn’t been easy to buy for. What in the world did you get a man who had everything?
Everything except the main thing he needed.
But that wasn’t her call. The last thing she wanted to do was force him into saying that he wanted children when he didn’t. That would be worse than the marriage ultimatum she’d leveled on Josh.
She finally got it. She saw the writing on the wall clearly. Two people had to come to a meeting of the minds before they could be happy as a couple. You couldn’t strong-arm somebody into important life decisions. Because the heart wanted what the heart wanted. And sometimes there was just no getting around fundamental differences.
The sad thing was, her heart still wanted Cullen.
She might have made a conscious decision to live with her eyes wide-open, but mending her heart would be a long, slow process. That was fine because once the kids were placed in a permanent home and she went back to her regular teaching job, she would have all the time in the world to put herself back together again.