“And you didn’t think this was information I should know?” she asked, finally schooling her expression. It was like a curtain had suddenly fallen between us.
“I thought you knew,” I said, letting her go as she climbed off the bed.
“How the fuck would I know?” she snapped, pulling on her underwear. She froze with her hands on her hips and stared at the floor.
“Everybody knows,” I replied, getting to my feet.
“No,” she huffed. “No, they don’t. Someone would have said something to me.”
“Why?” I understood that she was shocked, but she was acting like I’d betrayed her somehow, which was complete bullshit. “They probably assumed that you already knew.”
“No, they didn’t.”
“You sure of that?” I asked, pulling my jeans on.
“Yes, I’m sure,” she snapped, finally looking at me.
“Right.”
“I’ve wanted kids forever,” she said through her teeth. The words were like a punch straight to the groin. “So, yeah. If Lily or my mom or anyone knew that you’d had a vasectomy, that’s something they would’ve brought up.”
“You’ve never said anything about kids,” I said cautiously, realizing too late just how badly shit had gone sideways. “Nothin’.”
“Well, it wasn’t really something I thought we had to talk about yet,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m on birth control, and we were still using condoms.”
“If you woulda said somethin’—”
“I’m dating a man who has a kid,” she practically yelled, staring at me like I’d lost my mind. “Why would you think I didn’t want kids? A huge part of being with you is helping raise Kara—”
“I never asked you to help raise Kara,” I said automatically.
I knew the moment the words were out of my mouth that I’d fucked up huge. Irrevocably.
“So you don’t want kids with me,” she said with a humorless laugh, “and I’m not allowed to claim Kara, either.”
“You never said you wanted kids,” I snapped defensively.
“You never fucking asked,” she yelled back.
She dropped to her knees and started frantically stuffing her clothes into the bag that had been sitting in the corner of the room for over a month.
“What’re you doin’?” I asked, reaching for her.
“Don’t touch me,” she ordered firmly, making me jerk back in surprise.
“You’re bailin’? That what this is?”
“There’s nothing for me here,” she replied dully, getting to her feet.
“Nothin’?” I asked in disbelief. Was she fucking kidding me?
“I thought—” Rose stopped and swallowed hard.
I saw the moment she shut down. It was as if she was suddenly looking through me instead of at me.
“I thought we were building something here.” She shook her head.
“We are,” I said, reaching for her again.
“No.” She pulled her arm out of my reach. “No, we were fucking.”
“Knock it off.”
“We were fucking,” she continued. “And you liked having me in your bed. Which makes total sense, because I’m fantastic in bed.”
“Rose, stop,” I ordered. She was going to say something she couldn’t take back. I could feel it, like bile rising in my throat.
“But you didn’t want more than that.” She took a step back, and stuck her hand out like she was stopping me from following her. “It’s my own fault. I always do this—assume I’ve found the fairytale.”
“I love you,” I snapped, running my hands through my hair in frustration.
“I don’t want that kind of love,” she said woodenly. I would’ve been less stunned if she’d slapped me across the face.
“I’d fuckin’ kill for you, Rose,” I shouted. “That’s not good enough for you?”
“You’d kill for me,” she said, nodding. “But God forbid I help raise Kara, or we have any other kids.”
“I made the choice of not havin’ more kids a long ass time ago, that’s got nothin’ to do with us.”
“It has everything to do with us,” she hissed. “Did you expect me to live on the outside forever? No, Rose, you can’t drive Kara to your brother’s. No, Rose, you can’t help Kara with her chores, or buy her pads, or have any say in her life at all. You can fuck me all night long and hang with us, but you’ll never be a part of our very special little group.” She held her hands in front of her a foot a part. “We’re over here.” She shook one hand. “And you’re over here.”
“Kara’s not a part of this conversation,” I barked in frustration. “And that’s not how it is. Leave her out of this.”
Rose shook her head again. “It’s like you haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
I followed her as she went to the bathroom and started methodically pulling her bottles of shit out of the shower, calmly and quickly drying them with a towel.
“You’re bailin,’” I said, pointing at her. “And you wonder why I said that raising Kara was on me, not you? She’s been through enough.”
“Don’t you dare,” she hissed, pausing to glare at me. “You don’t get to turn this around on me.”