Craving Rose (The Aces' Sons 5)

“Not sure how you could’ve,” Howie said, his eyes on Mack. “You did what you had to.”

“I’ll never forgive him for making me leave him there.” The confession seemed safe, there in the quiet room, the humming and beeping of the machines almost drowning out my voice.

“You don’t have to,” Howie said simply. “You’re alive. He’ll gladly deal with anythin’ you can throw at him.”

“You think so?” I said, exhaustion rolling over me in a wave.

“If I know my son,” he replied, “he’d do the exact same thing a thousand times, knowin’ you’d be alright. Don’t matter how pissed you are.”

“We weren’t even together,” I said, not meeting his eyes. “We broke up months ago.”

“Heard somethin’ about that,” Howie replied, completely unsurprised. “Me and Lou knew it wouldn’t last.”

“How’s that?” I asked dryly.

“You don’t look at a woman the way my son looks at you and let her walk away,” Howie said with a small smile. “You do what you have to in order to make it right. I’m guessin’ it wouldn’t have been long before he was offerin’ you the moon.”

“I didn’t want the moon,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Just babies.”

Howie’s eyes widened in surprise. “That’s what the fuss was about?”

“I wouldn’t call it a fuss, really.”

“Girl,” he said with a chuckle. “You woulda given him some time to wrap his head around the idea, he woulda came around. Boy played with dolls almost as much as he played with trucks as a kid.”

“Really?” I said, tenderness welling up in my chest at the thought of it. God, the guys would never let Mack live that down.

“Oh, yeah,” Howie said. “He wanted a whole house full of kids. He’d never say it, but I think he regretted that he and Mia didn’t have more.”

My stomach twisted with jealousy.

“But she wasn’t in no shape to take care of Kara,” Howie continued. “Much less any other babies that came along.”

“She always seemed like a good mom when I was around her,” I said carefully.

“She was,” Howie said firmly. “And she loved Kara more than anythin’.” He leaned his hip against the foot of the bed, his hand still absently rubbing Mack’s foot. “But somethin’ broke inside her when she had Kara. Poor thing was afraid of everything by the end, even herself.”

“Why didn’t she see a doctor?” I asked.

Howie scoffed derisively. “She did. Told him she was havin’ some anxiety and he told her, well, there’s nothin’ to be anxious about.”

“What?” I blurted, horrified.

“Old school doctor,” Mack said in disgust. “He’s lucky my son had his hands full at the time. Course, after that, Mia refused to see anyone else. Thought she needed to just—hell, I don’t know—suck it up, I guess.”

“That’s insane,” I whispered.

“Wasn’t right,” Howie replied. “But they were so young. They were wingin’ it and Mack didn’t want to make it worse for her, so he just tried to keep her happy. Me and Lou were on the road and missed a lot of it.” He gave me a sad smile. “Easy to put on a brave face when your man’s parents come to town for a week and then leave again.”

“That’s terrible,” I murmured. Poor Mia.

“Can see why he’d be hesitant to go down that road again,” Howie said knowingly.

“It wouldn’t be the same,” I replied.

“No way of knowin’ that.”

“Yes, there is,” I said instantly, surety making my voice firm. “Because Mack would never let it get to that point, even if I couldn’t see it happening. And if he somehow dropped the ball, there are about fifteen people in the waiting room right now that wouldn’t let it happen, either.”

“Well,” Howie said looking at Mack. “Thank Christ, you two still have time to make those decisions.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, letting out a sigh. “As long as he’s okay, I’m happy.”

Howie laughed. “I’ll ask you if that’s still true next year when he’s had the chance to piss you off again.”

He rounded the bed and leaned down to kiss Mack’s forehead gently, avoiding the row of stitches that bisected his eyebrow. “I’ll be back later, son. I have a feelin’ your mama’s dyin’ to get back in here and take my place.”

“I don’t think Kara’s eaten,” I said as he straightened up again.

“I’ll take care of it, darlin’,” he replied. He stepped toward me and rested his hand on my shoulder. “You should sit down before you fall down.”

“Do I look that bad?” I asked tiredly.

“Worse,” he said, giving me a wink.

“Gee, thanks,” I called quietly as he left the room.

I couldn’t deny the truth in his words, though. I was quickly losing whatever energy I had left. Grabbing the chair in the corner, I dragged it next to the bed and sat down heavily. Relief and gratitude filled me as I lay my head next to Mack’s hip, threading my fingers through his. Maybe I’d just close my eyes for a while.