“You know it’s not that,” Charlie said, his voice so sweet that my breath hitched. “You’ve been feeling bad for a while, huh?”
“It’s just a virus,” I whispered.
“I talked to your Gran,” he replied.
“No.”
“I know everything. It’s okay, baby.”
“No,” I said again.
“I should have been there,” he choked out. “It’s not your fault. Okay? It’s mine. It’s my fault.”
“No.” This time, the word came from deep in my gut, from a place so painful and raw that it sounded almost inhuman.
I fought him when he wrapped his arms around me. I fought him as he pulled me from the truck. I fought him as he whispered sweet words into my ear, understanding words, apologetic words, comforting words. I fought as he carried me into the building and past a large group of people that stopped to stare at us. I fought him as he laid me down on the bed. I fought, my muscles screaming and my mind racing until Doc stuck a needle in my arm and I lost consciousness again. This time, I was thankful for the darkness.
Chapter 13
Farrah
Present Day
The chair I was sitting on crashed to the floor as I got to my feet, the sound harsh and jarring in the quiet room.
“Farrah,” Callie said, reaching toward me.
“I need a break,” I said, lifting my arms up, palms out. “I just need a minute.”
“Take all the time you need,” Amy said, as if I needed permission.
I strode toward the back hallway and kept moving, past all the bedrooms and out the back door. The rain was coming down in sheets, so I stayed flat against the building under the overhang. I just needed a goddamn minute.
I knew that Cody would find me soon. He’d gotten a phone call while Amy was talking and walked away from the table, but someone would’ve gone to get him the minute I stepped out of the room. I only had a little bit of time to get my shit together before he came looking for me.
I shook out my arms, letting the sound of my bracelets clanging together calm me. We all had histories. Every person in the club had memories that they tried to forget, stories that they’d never tell anyone, nightmares that kept them up at night. I hadn’t imagined that Vera’s background was any different. Hell, I’d always assumed it was probably worse, considering the fact that she’d hooked up with my father and reigned beside him for years.
It was one thing to assume, but hearing about all the gory details was something different.
Resting my head against the cool concrete of the building I stared into the rain. I hadn’t known my dad when I was growing up, my mom had taken off with me when I was a baby and I hadn’t seen him again until I was a teenager. After he’d found me, I learned all about how my mother was supposed to give my father and Vera custody, how they’d made lemonade out of a bastard lemon—me—and had planned on raising me like their own. My mother had ruined all that, and any chance of a normal childhood for me.
I hadn’t ever questioned why he and Vera couldn’t have kids. I knew that they would’ve had a bunch if they could’ve, but it just hadn’t been in the cards for them. Learning that they’d been pregnant once, that it had been possible at some point, made the knowledge so much more heartbreaking. My stomach churned with nausea.
God, I missed them. I missed my dad showing up at the house with random shit he’d seen and thought I’d like. I still had an ugly ass elephant made out of empty green bean cans in my front flower bed, exactly where he’d put it, so proud of his find. I missed the way Vera would come over for a cup of coffee and end up staying all day because we’d found some random thing to do, like rearranging the pots and pans cupboard and labeling it with little stickers. Hell, I even missed the irritating way they’d call early on the weekends to see what our plans were. Newsflash, our plans had been to sleep in until they called and woke us up.
“Hey Ladybug,” Cody said, pushing open the door. “What the hell are you standin’ in the rain for?”
“I needed a breather,” I replied, sighing as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Getting’ pretty heavy in there?”
“I think I know what’s coming,” I murmured, pressing my forehead against his neck. “And I don’t want to hear it.”
“So stop listenin’.”
“I can’t.”
Cody nodded in understanding.
“I didn’t think that hearing about them would bother me so much,” I confessed. “I think some part of me was expecting some bullshit story about how they’d locked eyes at a party and it was love at first sight.”