That was news to me. The doctors and my parents hadn’t told me a word about when they expected my blindness to disappear. I’d only ever heard vague promises that someday I would be able to see again and that there were no medical issues preventing me from regaining my sight.
“Who the fuck knows,” my dad said calmly. “And who the fuck cares?”
“I care! I want to know why! I want to know why it took so long if it came back so goddamn easy!”
I stepped away from the door as my mom’s angry words broke at the end.
The conversation wasn’t meant for me. It was private between the two of them. I knew that. But even if they had been speaking directly to me, I had no answers to give them.
I’d been afraid of everything for a long time after the attack. Every little noise made me shudder in fear. A slammed door or the sound of a car driving down our gravel road had put me into a panic. I’d had nightmares and paranoia and I’d wet the bed. But all of those things had been gone for years. It made no sense that it had taken so long for me to see.
“Are you coming?” Charlie asked impatiently, sticking her head out her bedroom door.
I nodded and went into her room, smiling as I realized that my mom had painted it in a rainbow of colors, like she hadn’t been able to choose which one she liked best.
* * *
“What’s so important?” Rose asked later that day as she rushed into my room. “I know you haven’t done anything but sit at home since I saw you like twelve hours ago.”
I smiled and turned toward her, coming to a stop when I got a look at her face. My cousin was gorgeous. Really gorgeous. Like a woman who did makeup ads or something. She was curvy, which I’d already known, but her face reminded me of that saying, “The face that launched a thousand ships,” or whatever. She was striking. She had large brown eyes, thick eyebrows that were perfectly manicured, high cheekbones, and one of the poutiest mouths I’d ever seen in my life.
“What?” she asked in irritation. Then her eyes widened so much they looked like they were going to fall out of her head. “You can fucking see me!”
“Surprise,” I said, laughing uncomfortably.
“What the fuck?” she squealed, launching herself forward so quickly, she practically tackled me onto the bed. “When did that happen? Oh, my God!”
“This morning,” I said, wrapping my arms around her as she squeezed my waist. “I just woke up and it was there.”
“You just opened your eyes, thinking, ‘I might as well just keep them closed,’ and suddenly you could see everything?” she asked in awe. “Jesus, that must have been a shock.”
“I thought I was going to have a heart attack,” I answered honestly.
“I bet.” She let go of me and fell onto my bed. “Tell me everything.”
“Nothing much to tell,” I replied, closing my bedroom door. “My parents are pretty freaked out, though.”
“Well, yeah,” she muttered. “Have you told your brother and sister?”
“They were the first calls we made.”
“Hey!”
“Well, I wanted to tell you in person,” I said, dropping down next to her. “I told my mom that she could call your mom as soon as you were here—so she didn’t accidentally spill the beans.”
“Oh, shit. She was on the phone the minute I walked through the door,” Rose joked.
“Yeah, probably.”
“This is so crazy.”
“I know.” I sighed.
“I can’t pick my nose whenever I want anymore. That’s going to take some getting used to.”
“But, hey, you also don’t have to lead me around like a goat anymore.”
“A goat?”
“Do you have a different animal choice?”
“Lamb?”
“Fine, a lamb, then.”
Rose smiled softly and lay down on her side, resting her head on her bent elbow. “I didn’t mind.”
“I know.” I lay down next to her, my body a mirror of hers. “Thank you.”
“Shut up.”
“Whatever.”
We both grinned. Rose had perfectly straight teeth, and her smile was so wide I could see most of them.
“You can do your own makeup, now.”
“I wouldn’t even know how,” I replied. “Plus, my depth perception is a little off. I can’t imagine how bad it’ll be with a mirror.”
“Wait,” Rose said, dragging out the word. “You haven’t looked in a mirror yet?”
I threw my arm over my face and shook my head, embarrassed. I didn’t want to admit that I was too afraid. I knew that there was nothing wrong with my face. I’d felt every millimeter of it with my hands at some point. But knowing that there was nothing wrong with it didn’t calm the fear that I’d look at myself and not recognize the stranger staring back at me. The last time I’d looked in a mirror, I was eleven years old.