This was why Tommy hadn’t wanted them to know. Why he’d gone to such lengths to keep them in the dark. Why he’d been willing to go down for murder without saying a word.
“Micky was gay,” I said quietly, dropping awkwardly to my ass in the middle of the floor. “He wasn’t ready to say anything, but…”
“But he told you,” Callie said softly, tears running down her face.
“He told me everything,” I replied, nodding. “But I didn’t know about Mr. Phillips.”
“When did you know?” Grease asked, pulling Callie closer to his side.
“I found out at the end of the school year,” I told him, staring at the floor beyond my crossed legs. “I caught them.” I shook my head. “They weren’t doing anything. Not really. But I knew just from the way they were standing that something wasn’t right.”
“That motherfucker,” Grease said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.
“I made Mick tell me everything that night,” I continued. “He tried to put me off, but I think he was afraid I was going to tell someone.” My voice cracked.
“He was gay,” I announced firmly, nodding my head. “That’s what he told me first. He wasn’t shy about it. It was like he was glad to get it off his chest. And it made so much sense, you know? I kind of started putting things together in my head and was realizing all the signs I’d ignored, but then he mentioned Mr. Phillips, and his entire voice changed.”
The room was quiet as I tried to get my thoughts together. I almost didn’t know how to explain the change that had come over Mick that night.
“He was ashamed,” I finally whispered, shaking my head. “Whatever was going on with Mr. Phillips embarrassed him. He didn’t want to talk about it, and he tried to say it was nothing, but I knew. I knew.”
“He was fourteen years old,” Callie cried, shaking her head.
“It started midway through the year,” I said, focusing on a knob on the dresser across the room. If I wanted to finish telling them, I wouldn’t be able to look at them again. “And at first, Mick was kind of flattered, you know? This hot teacher was paying attention to him, and he liked it. But then it escalated, and Mick didn’t like it anymore but he didn’t know how to stop it. He just…” my voice trailed off. “He got railroaded into something by someone he should have been able to trust.”
“Did he rape my boy?” Grease hissed.
“I don’t know,” I whispered, still staring at the dresser knob. “But he did something and it went on for months.”
Callie cried quietly, but Grease was eerily silent. After a long moment, I lifted my head and met his eyes.
“I should have said something,” I said, my voice thick with apology. “But he begged me not to, and I tried to protect him the best I could, and then… and then he was gone.”
“You were a good friend to my boy,” Grease said, his eyes wet. “He put you in a tough position.”
“I should have said something,” I whispered again. “I was older. I should have done something.”
“Neither of you kids was prepared to deal with somethin’ like that,” Grease replied quietly, shaking his head. “We drill that shit into our girls’ heads, but—”
“But we thought our boys were safe,” Callie cut in. “They’re so big and strong. By the time they hit high school, I didn’t even…” She looked down at her hands. “I watched them closely when they were little, but once they were bigger than most men, I didn’t watch as closely,” she whispered.
I knew exactly how she felt. Mick had always seemed so strong to me. Even as a freshman, he’d seemed bigger than the rest of the guys I knew. He carried himself differently, was more aware of his body and the power it held. But looking back, I couldn’t help but realize he was still just a kid. A really big kid. And he’d had no idea how to fight against the manipulation of someone older and well-versed in getting exactly what he wanted. I shuddered as I remembered Mark Phillips’ face when I’d walked in on him and Mick. The guy hadn’t even been nervous I’d found them together. He’d seemed almost smug. Like he was sure he would get away with it.
When Mr. Phillips had gone missing, I’d been glad. It was all over the news for months, and I’d watched every single broadcast, praying they hadn’t found him. I’d known he hadn’t run away. The man was too sure of himself for that. If someone had seen something or accused him of something, he would’ve acted like he didn’t know what they were talking about, that he’d get away with it.
When months went by without a trace of him anywhere, I’d breathed a sigh of relief and promised myself I’d never say anything about what happened with Mick. Mr. Phillips was gone and there was no chance of him hurting anyone ever again, and I’d promised my best friend I’d keep my mouth shut. So I had.