Craving Hawk (The Aces' Sons 3)

“I can’t do that,” I replied with a shake of my head.

“We shouldn’t do that,” he agreed, running his thumb over the top of my hand. “But we could try again. From the beginning.”

I shivered as the wind blew hard, and he stepped directly in front of me so his broad shoulders blocked most of the cool air. He lifted his arms and I instinctively moved forward, stopping in embarrassment when he braced them on the door jam.

I gave a little half laugh and started to step back again, but I didn’t make it far. His arms wrapped around my back in a rush, and his face went straight to my neck, his nose cold against my skin.

“I missed you,” he mumbled as I slipped my hands under his vest and around his waist. “I missed you so fuckin’ much. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

I felt tears hit the backs of my eyes as his arms tightened and he lifted me off my feet, carrying me far enough into the apartment that he could close the door behind him. He didn’t let go of me, and he never once moved his face away from my neck.

“I never meant to scare you,” he said. “Jesus Christ. I never meant to scare you.”

“I’m so glad you’re doing better,” I whispered, reaching up to lay my hand on the back of his head.

“Don’t wanna do it without you,” he whispered back. “I will if I have to. But please, baby, don’t make me.”

“Okay,” I choked out.

He shuddered.

He held me there for a long time, sliding his hands up and down my back over and over again, but he didn’t say anything else. I think both of us were a little raw then, and neither of us really knew where we went from there.

Tommy was doing better, but there was no cure for the problems he was dealing with. Managing his symptoms and dealing with the stuff that haunted him would be something he dealt with his entire life. If I stayed with him, if we stayed married, that was something I’d have to deal with, too.

It would’ve been easy to fall back into bed again; that was clear from how easily we’d done it the first time, but neither of us was ready for that.

If we tried to build too quickly, things would get put together wrong, parts would be missing, and eventually we’d fall apart again.

“If I don’t leave, I don’t know that I’ll ever leave,” he said eventually, lifting his head.

His hands slid up my back and into my hair, and I closed my eyes as his fingers sifted through it.

“I’m gonna give you tonight,” he murmured, his thumb sliding along my jawline. “But I’ll be back in the mornin’, alright?”

“Are you okay?” I asked, searching his face.

“Fantastic,” he said, dropping his forehead to mine. “But I’m feelin’ a little overwhelmed and I need a minute to process.”

I pulled away at the sting of his words. He’d come to my house. He’d said he was in love with me. Then all of a sudden he didn’t know how to deal with the news?

“Heather,” Tommy said, exasperated. “Come here, baby.”

He pulled me back and wrapped his long fingers around the sides of my head, holding me in place.

“I wanna fuck you,” he said point blank, his fingers tightening just a little. “I wanna feel your skin, and I wanna taste all the parts of you that I’ve missed and I really, really want to slide inside you and stay there all fuckin’ night.”

I tipped my head back a little until I could feel his breath on my mouth.

“But feelin’ this outta control ain’t good for me, sugar,” he murmured, running his nose along mine with a groan. “And we shouldn’t be playin’ grab ass until we’re more solid.”

He pulled away and I stared at him in surprise as he took a step backward toward the door.

“Who the hell are you?” I asked.

“I’m your husband,” he said seriously. “And I’m gonna do it right this time.”

Then he opened up the door behind him and slipped out.

* * *

The next morning I met my sister at Molly’s for coffee and breakfast.

“Tommy came to see me yesterday,” I said as I came in the front door. “And he’s fucking gorgeous, as always.”

I stopped dead in my tracks as I reached the kitchen. “Uh, hi, Will,” I said in surprise. “I thought you were at work.”

“Clearly,” he said with a laugh. He leaned down and kissed Rebel, then turned and kissed Molly. “I’m just headed there now. I’ll tell my brother you said hi.”

He walked out the back door and I glared at Molly.

“You could have warned me,” I said, sitting down at the kitchen table.

“Like it would have mattered,” she argued. “You would have said the same exact thing if you’d known Will was here.”