He’d recognised her aching and lonely soul and embraced it. She’d given him space. She’d understood visiting Drumegan Castle was hard. But she’d felt as if they’d stood shoulder to shoulder the whole way. When they’d made love on Christmas Day, and he’d taken her to meet his family on Boxing Day, everything had just seemed to be surrounded in pink clouds.
But the storm had swept in. Why? What on earth had she done wrong?
She nervously licked her lips. The last few days had given her something else. A confidence she’d never felt before. She’d had a glimmer of a job that she might love. She’d found something she enjoyed and could be good at. It was a path she wanted to explore.
But she’d wanted Finlay to walk that path alongside her.
She lifted her chin and looked at him. Losing her gran had taught her one thing: love was worth reaching for and holding onto. She deserved love. She deserved to find happiness. She couldn’t accept anything less.
It was so hard not to reach for his hand. She took a deep breath. ‘I understand this Christmas has been hard, Finlay—I do. I understand that visiting the castle took courage. And it must have whipped up a whole host of memories that maybe you’d forgotten. But I have to ask you this.’ She met his gaze, even though it killed her to do so. ‘It’s been five years, Finlay. Five years that you’ve turned your back on love. How much longer will it take? Do you think you’ll ever be ready to love someone again?’
He could barely meet her gaze. ‘It’s been an amazing few days, Grace, but no, I’m not looking for love again. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.’
She breathed in slowly through her nose. She wanted to shout. She wanted to cry. She wanted to punch him right in the chest. Hadn’t he looked at Drumegan Castle and said he’d left things far too long? Hadn’t he said that in a few different ways to her?
She’d obviously misunderstood—and that was her own foolish fault. When he’d talked about the neglected castle she’d assumed there was some parallel to himself and his life.
But that was clearly all in her head.
Finlay Armstrong might be the most handsome man she’d ever met. He might be the only man she’d ever felt a connection like this with. He might be the only man who’d stamped all over her fragile heart.
She could almost hear her gran’s voice in her ears. She straightened her shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. He’d been right. She deserved so much better than he could offer. She loved him completely, with her whole entire heart. The one that was currently shattered all around them. She had too much pride for this. She wasn’t going to hang around waiting for any scrap of his attention when she was worthy of so much more.
She bit her lips as tears threatened to pool in her eyes.
No. She wouldn’t let them. He wouldn’t see her cry. He wouldn’t know just how much this hurt.
She kept her voice steady. ‘Then thank you for a nice Christmas, Finlay. But now we’re on our way home—it’s clearly best that we both resume our own lives.’
CHAPTER TEN
HE FELT WRETCHED. It was as if a huge cloud of misery had descended over his head in an air of permanence.
He’d been miserable before. He could buy the T-shirt and wear it. But this was different.
He hadn’t lost his wife. That was an understandable misery.
This time, he’d lost Grace. The strong, proud woman he still saw walking about his hotel on a daily basis. She didn’t look in his direction—not once. She didn’t try and engage in conversation. His few ‘good mornings’ had been resolutely ignored.
But that wasn’t the thing that made him feel wretched.
It was the fact that when she thought no one was watching, her shoulders would slump, her head would bow and she’d pull a tissue from her apron.
Grace. The girl with the sparkling eyes, gorgeous smile and biggest heart in the world.
He’d done this.
This morning he’d woken up and turned over in bed. The empty space beside him hadn’t just felt empty—it had felt like a massive void.
He’d never considered himself a coward. But why had he retreated so quickly? Was he actually scared? He hated feeling like this. And he hated the way he’d made Grace feel.
The sunlight sparkled off something in the corner of the room. Silver paper. The gift that Mrs Archer had left him. He’d forgotten to open it.
He stood up and walked over. It took a few minutes to unfurl the curling silver ribbons and unwrap the silver paper. Inside was a black box. He flipped it open. An engraved silver heart gleamed at him.
Memories are special in every single way,