“Mom, you want to see my room?” Derek grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her down the hallway. “Isn’t it cool?”
I sat on the couch, needing a break from this shitty night.
“It’s nice, honey.” Valerie returned a few seconds later, as if she didn’t even really look at his bedroom. She walked through and examined everything, like she was searching for something. Then she went down the hallway—to my bedroom.
What the fuck?
I went after her. “Valerie.”
“I want to see your bedroom.”
It took all my strength not to scream at her, not to shove my fists through the wall for Cleo to fix later. I stepped into the room and watched her look around. “What are you doing?” I kept the cuss words quiet since Derek was in the other room.
She went into my closet.
My heart plummeted into my stomach. Cleo’s clothes were in my closet, her makeup in my bathroom drawers.
But Valerie reemerged like she hadn’t seen anything. Then she went into the bathroom.
I moved to the closet—and saw that Cleo’s clothes were gone.
Valerie came out of the bathroom again. “That view is something else…” She looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows.
Maybe this was a bad idea. Instead of having a mature conversation about our relationship moving forward, she was sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, treating me like a possession rather than a human being. She acted like she owned me—still. “I’ll walk you back to the hotel.”
“I thought we’d have a drink—”
“I’m walking you back,” I said without turning around. “Come on.” I returned to the living room.
Derek was there, sitting on the couch.
Valerie followed me. “What did you just say to me?”
This was a terrible fucking idea. I wasn’t going to get what I wanted, to see my son every day, but one day he would understand. I needed to be free of this woman. Otherwise, I’d be miserable forever. “Derek, let’s go.”
Valerie moved behind me. “I’m talking to you.”
Derek got off the couch, but instead of moving to the door, he walked up to Valerie. “Stop it.”
We both went quiet.
I turned to him, seeing him looking up at Valerie.
“You’re always making Dad sad. Stop making him sad.”
My expression was stoic as I stared at my son, seeing him stand up for me when it wasn’t his problem. He shouldn’t have to worry about this. He should be enjoying his childhood, not be stressed about the way his father was being treated by his mother. But the gesture touched my heart.
Valerie was speechless.
“Derek.” My hand moved to his shoulder. “It’s alright.”
He pushed me off him. “It’s not alright. Stop it.” He stared at Valerie, tears in his eyes. “When he’s sad…I’m sad.”
I inhaled a deep breath, feeling his pain instantly. I kneeled to the floor and wrapped my arms around him, my eyes wet too. “Come here, little man.” I pulled him to my chest, my hand cupping the back of his head. “Shh…it’s alright.”
Valerie continued to stand there, like she had no idea what to say.
I pulled away and looked into the reflection of my emotional expression, the way his cheeks reddened just the way mine did. “It’s gonna be alright.” I didn’t believe Valerie and I would ever find common ground, but I didn’t want him to be upset. I just wanted him to be happy, the happiest boy in the world.
“You don’t deserve to be sad…” He pulled away from me and went into his bedroom down the hall.
I stayed on my knees, unable to believe that had just happened.
Valerie crossed her arms over her chest.
After a minute of silence, I got to my feet again, looking at her, my eyes still wet. “I want to work this out with you, Valerie. But our son is right. Your behavior needs to stop. If it’s obvious to a five-year-old, even if he is gifted, then you need to change. What kind of example are you showing him? I left because you’re controlling, manipulative, and simply toxic. We aren’t married, so I won’t put up with it anymore. You have no right to treat me this way anymore. You use our son against me to get away with it. But time passes quickly, and when he’s an adult, he’ll want nothing to do with you. Kids remember things. Kids see more than we give them credit for. You still have time to change that…and I suggest you do. Otherwise, you’ll lose your son for good.”
Her chin was tilted toward the floor, her arms still across her chest. She didn’t show any emotion, but it was obvious that the interaction affected her, that the innocence of a child was impossible to fight. He painted her in a hideous light so she couldn’t pretend it was untrue.
“We’re never getting back together, Valerie.”
Her eyes shifted to mine.
“I’m a lot happier on my own. If that makes you want to keep Derek from me, then there’s nothing I can do about it. But now that I know he understands. I know he’ll forgive me for not being there all the time, that he’ll know the only reason I wasn’t there was because of you—no other excuse.” Derek gave me more than he realized. He took the guilt from my shoulders, understood my pain like a friend. “But please don’t take him away from me. He’ll only be this age once, and I don’t want to miss all of that.”