“But I always go to the beach,” Derek said.
“The water here is warm,” Deacon said. “So, that’ll be a nice change.”
Derek shrugged.
It was amazing how different the dynamic was when Valerie was present, how much it affected the way we all interacted. Deacon was visibly miserable, the pain written all over his face. And the way he spoke to her, like he had to stop himself from seething. Tucker didn’t say much either, like she’d never been a sister-in-law to him.
I’d already known they had a bad relationship, but now I saw it in the flesh and realized that their dynamic was strained…even on their best day.
I didn’t see Deacon for the rest of the weekend.
He spent time with Valerie and Derek on his own.
But when he came home at night, he texted me. Hey.
Hey. How’d it go?
Fine. Even through text, his mood was obvious. Just trying to get through it.
Is Derek having fun?
Some. But he’s definitely different when he’s around both of us at the same time.
It’s almost over.
Yeah.
I stared at the phone and waited for the dots to appear, but they didn’t. Goodnight, Deacon. I wished he were next to me in bed, his hair messy from the way I fingered it. But shortly, those nights would return.
I miss you.
My eyes softened as I looked at the words on the screen. I miss you too.
I was sitting at my desk in the lobby when Derek walked up. “Hey, Cleo.”
I looked up from my computer, not expecting to see him there. “Hey, little man. What are you up to?”
He wore his superhero backpack like he was about to head home. “Just wanted to say goodbye. Mom and I are leaving.”
“Oh…” I could see how sad that made him, how hard it was to say goodbye. “It’s not goodbye, Derek. It’s just see you later.” I opened my arms and hugged him, my hand rubbing his back.
He rested against my body for a long time, like he didn’t want to leave.
I looked up to see Valerie on the phone, standing to the side while she spoke to someone. Her luggage was sitting next to her, along with Derek’s. And Deacon was there, watching me with his hands in his pockets, his eyes flat but filled with subtle emotion.
Derek pulled away. “I’ll miss you.”
Oh my god, he broke my heart a million more ways than my own husband did. “I’ll miss you too. We’ll go to the cabin next time you come for a visit.”
“Yeah, but I’m starting school soon. Not sure when I’ll come back.”
I still had him enrolled at the school down the street because I expected him to attend. “We’ll see.”
“I love you.” He looked into my eyes as he said it, just the way he did with his father.
Oh fuck, I was gonna cry. “I love you too….” I kept a straight face for him, not wanting to make him upset before he left.
He waved before he walked back to his father.
That was when my lips trembled and the tears fell down my cheeks.
Deacon watched me with sympathy—like he knew exactly how I felt. He grabbed the luggage and walked with Derek to the entrance. When Valerie was off the phone, she joined them without saying goodbye to me.
I grabbed the tissues off the desk and dried my eyes. My makeup was ruined but my eyes were too watery to reapply the eyeliner, so I just let it be. My eyes were puffy and my skin was red, so it would take time to look normal again, to deal with a client professionally.
Ten minutes later, Deacon returned. He walked up to the desk since no one was there. He kept his distance, his hands sliding into his pockets as he watched me.
Now I felt like a piece of my heart was missing—because Derek took it with him. “He said he loved me…”
“I already knew he did.”
I sighed. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“I hate it—every single time.”
I grabbed another tissue and traced under my eyes, cleaning up the messy eyeliner. “I’ll get Valerie to move here…if it’s the last thing I do.”
He continued to watch me.
“Not even for you…but for me.”
Deacon sat beside me on the couch in his condo, his elbows on his knees with his eyes on the floor.
“I think I should do this alone.”
He turned his gaze to me and gave me a gentle nod. He leaned in and kissed my hairline before he left the living room and headed down the hall. The door clicked when he entered his bedroom.
I stared at the phone for a while, terrified. I’d never wanted something so much in my life. When I handled the lives of my clients, I was always calm because the events never really affected my life. It allowed me to be logical and pragmatic. But I was emotional about this, because I needed Derek to be happy.