She looked at me again, a slight smile on her lips. “She was.”
I took a deep breath as I stared at her, so deeply transfixed by her appearance, I felt paralyzed. I couldn’t look away, not even to grab my glass, because she’d never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. My eyes burned as I looked at her because my stare was so rigid. I could feel the tightness in my face because I’d held the same expression so long. But whenever I looked at her, that was all I could do…look. “How did she pass away?”
“She got sick.” She turned away and opened one of the drawers until she found a stack of pictures. Then she came back to me, sorting through the pictures until she found one she liked. She held it out to me.
I took the picture and stared at it, staring at a brunette with the same green eyes. She sat on the beach with Damien playing with his toys beside her. She seemed to be the same age Catalina was now—and the resemblance was uncanny. “You weren’t kidding.” I handed the picture back to her.
“No.” She flipped through more pictures until she found one that had all four of them. She and Damien were just small children.
I didn’t care about Damien or the other members of her family. I stared at her, the little girl with a big bow in her hair. A smile came onto my lips before I returned the picture.
She returned it to the stack before leaving it on the counter. “Our family was never the same after she was gone. My father stopped smiling. He hasn’t smiled the way he used to since she was alive. He always tells Damien and me we need to have children, that we shouldn’t wait until we’re older like he did, because we’ll have less time with our kids…and that’s his biggest regret in life.”
I never thought about having kids. I was willing to get married if it happened, but having kids…not so sure. Balto was going to do it, and I was curious to see how that would go.
“My father has been attached to me ever since. I know he loves Damien, but I comfort him in a way Damien can’t. Damien has her eyes, but that’s about it. The rest of his genetic inheritance comes directly from my father.”
That explained her exceptional beauty and his plainness. “I’m sorry you lost her.”
She opened the drawer and returned the pictures before she came back to me. “Thank you.”
I hated to see her sad, but her eyes had a special quality that was so breathtaking. It was like looking at the nighttime sky and seeing nothing but bright stars.
“What about you?” she asked. “You don’t talk about your family.”
Because there was nothing to say. “My father beat my mother repeatedly and ultimately disappeared. She died of her injuries. My brother and I made our own way in life.”
She watched me, unable to hide her surprise at my tale.
“Don’t feel bad for me. I turned out fine.” I never cared about not having a family because I had Balto, and that was more than enough. Our lives were different from everyone else’s because we got involved in crime to survive. Anyone outside of our background and profession could never possibly understand.
“Never said you didn’t.”
“Well, you’re looking at me like you feel sorry for me.”
“No,” she whispered. “I just think you deserved better, that’s all.”
“That’s not how life works. You don’t deserve anything.” Everything I had was a result of hard work and a high tolerance for risk. My life was on the line many times, but I never had anything to lose, so I wasn’t gambling much in the first place. But now I was at the top of the food chain, with more money than I could spend, with a beautiful woman who wanted me all to herself. Now I had everything to lose…and it was fucking scary.
She watched me for a while, her green eyes still soft and vulnerable. It was a side to her she didn’t show often, but the longer we were together, the more she displayed it. She was less afraid to be weak, less afraid to show me her scars.
And that made her irresistible.
She grabbed her glass and finished it off. “Keep an open mind, alright?” She cleared her throat.
My eyes narrowed on her face.
“What if I just tell Damien the truth?” She released the deep breath she’d been holding. “He respects me, so he’ll listen to me. He’ll do anything for me…anything.”
My heart started to race because that was the worst thing she could possibly do. If she told him about me, he would tell her what I did…and then it would be over. There was zero chance it wouldn’t come up in their conversation, and there was zero chance Damien would ever let my crime go. “That’s the worst thing you can do. There’s nothing you could possibly say to make him feel differently about me.” If she knew the truth, she wouldn’t even entertain the idea. But then again, if she knew the truth, we wouldn’t be together that very instant. “I’ve tried to bury the hatchet with him before. I’ve given him chances to let this go. He won’t.”