He doesn’t say anything. Nothing to confirm or deny the accusation that I’ve just thrown at him, and it’s a terrible déjà vu. “You wouldn’t talk to me about it then. And it hasn’t changed, has it? You just shut down.”
It takes a long moment for him to meet my eyes. And when he speaks, it’s soft. Almost gentle. “There’s nothing I could say.”
Those words lodge in my chest, and the pain that I thought had lessened over the years comes flooding back. Tears surge into my eyes and I have to look away. “Of course not,” I say thickly. “Why would anything be different now?”
I brush past him and he doesn’t reach for me. He doesn’t try to stop me or explain or apologize, and despite everything that’s happened, I somehow still thought he would. It’s only the hand I press to my chest that convinces me there’s not an actual knife cutting into me. I remember this kind of pain, and I can’t show it in front of people. I hurry down the stairs, not bothering to conceal my tears now. I’ll lean into it. Fiona, Rose’s crazy sister.
But Rose is at the bottom of the stairs, and she’s the last person I want to see. This is her party, she doesn’t have to deal with my drama. She turns, hearing my footsteps down the stairs and I see her eyes go wide with shock at the sight of me. “Fiona—”
“I’m sorry,” I say, pulling her into a brief hug. “I have to go. I’m fine. Please have an amazing rest of the party and say goodbye to Thomas for me.” I push past her and out the door. I hear her calling my name, and I am sorry, but I can’t look back. If I look back I don’t know what I’ll do.
4
The vet’s office is quiet this morning. Thankfully, since I haven’t really been able to focus. We’re technically closed on Sundays, but there are always emergencies. Mostly I’m here to watch the animals we have in the back, some recovering from surgery, others under observation.
I’m still not qualified to handle the real emergencies, but almost. My exams to become a vet tech are only a couple of months away. Making the switch from a hospital to a vet’s office is the best thing I could have done for myself. I was working nights and being driven crazy by corporate healthcare. This office is smaller. Homey, even. And animals are way easier to deal with than people.
I should be studying since there’s nothing going on, but instead I’m drooling over shoes online that I’ll never be able to afford. I mean, no one really needs a pair of stilettos with diamond swirls, but a girl can dream.
The buzzer for the front door sounds, startling me. I push the intercom. “Hello, is this an emergency?”
“It is urgent, yes.”
I release the door and it pushes open to reveal a man and his dog standing in the bright silhouette of outside. And then Sam steps inside, Zeus by his side. My heart and stomach do a weird little flip. It’s been a few days since the engagement party, and I’ve…come to terms with things. We’re at an impasse, he and I. I’m never going to stop feeling betrayed, and he’s never going to tell me why he did what he did. And with Rose and Thomas getting married, I don’t think there’s any way I can truly avoid him. So I’m going to try to be civil. Granted, I didn’t expect him to walk in here today, but we can’t fuck or fight every time we see each other. Not with a wedding to get through.
He’s frozen too, staring at me.
“Sam,” I say.
“Hi.” His voice is rough, like his throat has gone suddenly dry.
Next to him, Zeus lowers himself to the floor tiredly. I’ve known Zeus as long as I’ve known Sam. He’s getting old now, white in the face. I come around from behind the reception desk, pointedly ignoring the way Sam is staring at me—like I’m breakable and he doesn’t know what to say. “Is he all right?”
“I don’t know,” he says. I look up at him, and he shakes his head a little, like he’s coming back to himself. “He’s seemed tired the last few days, but he still always been excited to go outside, to go to the park. Today I could barely get him to lift his head.”
Rubbing behind Zeus’s ears, I give him a once over. “Well, let’s get him back to one of the exam rooms and we’ll check him out. Huh, boy?” Zeus raises his head to look at me and I scratch him under his chin. I lead them into one of the exam rooms. “Help me get him up on the table?”