LUST (Dirty Brothers 2)

Zeus isn’t a small dog, and together Sam and I lift him onto the cool metal. I proceed with my examination and I can feel Sam watching me. Eventually he speaks. “I didn’t know you were a vet.”

I shake my head. “I’m not. I was an RN, but it wasn’t for me. Studying to be a vet tech now. So don’t take my word without a grain of salt.”

“I’m sure you know what you’re doing. You’re good at everything you do.”

A flush rises to my cheeks and I continue to look at Zeus, because the way Sam said that, I can tell that he actually believes it. “How has he been eating?”

“Fine, as far as I know.”

“Well,” I say, “he’s a little heavy. I know he’s older and probably deserves some treats, but a diet and keeping track to make sure he eats good food will probably help his energy. I don’t see anything else is wrong. But you should come back when the vet is here to double check.”

Sam smiles, just a small pull at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll make sure that he only gets the best.”

“Good,” I say.

We stand there for a moment, and I absently stroke Zeus’s back.

“See,” Sam says, “I think I know what’s really wrong with Zeus.”

“Oh?”

He nods. “I think he keeps remembering how good things used to be when he was a puppy. And even though he still loves all the same things, he’s worried that things won’t be the same now that he’s grown up.”

The words strike me in my stomach, and I know that we’re not talking about Zeus. “That might be true,” I say. “But maybe he has to find a way to be happy now because things change.”

“Some things change, and some things don’t. I think that Zeus, even if he’s tired, will always appreciate a good walk in the park. Especially with one of his oldest friends.”

“And when would this walk be?”

“Anytime,” he says. “Right now?”

I hesitate, unsure if I want to put myself in that position. Sam reaches out toward me and stops. “Fiona, please. For just today. Even just an hour. Can we have a truce?”

That tension, that nervousness in my chest eases. A truce. An acknowledgement that there’s a lot left unsaid between us, but that for right now we’re choosing to ignore that in favor of something light. Something easy. “Yes.”

He sighs in relief. “And you’ll come for a walk?”

“I need to check on the animals first,” I say. “And I need to be back to make rounds before the overnight attendant comes in.”

“I can work with that.” Sam smiles, and it’s not just a tiny tip of lips. It’s brilliant and blinding and comes with a hundred different memories.

“Nothing is happening,” I say to him. “Nothing like last time.”

Sam nods. “I know.”

“Then I’ll be right back.”

5

Sam and I came to this park a couple of times in high school, but not often enough that I’m overrun with memories. For that, I’m grateful. It makes a truce that much easier.

As we enter the park, Zeus perks up a little, trotting ahead of us, and suddenly riveted by a pair of squirrels chasing each other up a tree.

“See?” I say. “Good as new.”

“I hope so,” Sam says. “He’s the family dog, but he lives with me now. He’s always been a little more mine than the others. And I know he’s getting older but I can’t imagine what it will be like after he’s gone. I’ve had him for a long time.”

“I remember,” I say softly. But this isn’t the conversation we need. We need something lighter. More normal. “Well you know what I’m doing now. What are you doing?”

Sam puts his hands in his pockets. “You mean you didn’t track my every move over the last ten years?” He’s smiling.

I smile too. “Only when I wasn’t pretending that you didn’t exist at all.”

“I own a custom garage now. I wish I had more time to work on the cars that come in. My father has had me doing some things for the family dynasty.” He says “dynasty” with a pointed bitterness. “But I’m working on separating myself a bit more.”

“You always did love cars.”

He nods. “Nothing better than figuring out what makes a complicated machine tick. Or, if you’re lucky, make it run even better.”

Zeus is trotting around now, and it seems like he’s getting some of his energy back. “I’m surprised you stayed here in Hawthorne,” I say. “You always talked about wanting to get out.”

“You stayed too.”

He’s right. I did. But I never had big dreams the way Sam did. All I ever wanted was a home and a family. Not a very trendy dream these days, but I thought I was well on my way to that—

I stop my thoughts in their tracks. I can’t go there. Not while we’re in truce mode. “Yeah, I stayed.”