No one knows that I stayed up the night before in my hammock, looking up at the stars until sunrise just as I have been doing since I was sixteen. I don’t know where Ethan is, and I don’t know if he even remembers the date or cares, but deep in my heart, I imagine that he wishes me a happy birthday at sunrise each year. Wherever he is, he looks up, and for that one day, we do the same thing.
After I turn off the light in the room and walk out, I keep my head down, avoiding any eyes. The last thing I want is the town talking about how Drew visited me, and I left with tears in my eyes. I get in my car and make my way over to the diner. I spot Drew outside on his phone as he paces back and forth in front of the diner. He spots me and stops talking, hanging up the phone right away. “Hey.” He reaches for my hand.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, pointing at the phone.
“Oh, yeah, just my father,” he tells me as we walk into the diner. He holds the door open for me like he always does. I smile at him and walk in, seeing a couple of parents and the kids all wave at us.
“We should have taken it to go,” Drew says, guiding us to a booth at the end of the room. “So then you can relax.”
“I am relaxed,” I tell him, sliding into the booth. “This is fine.”
He takes off his jacket and tosses it in the corner of the booth. It should make me want to slide into the booth with him, wrap my hands around his neck, and kiss him. Instead, it just makes me smile. Looking out the window, I wonder what’s going on with me. I’ve been a bit out of it for a couple of weeks now. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like something is coming or something is going to change, and I don’t know what it is.
“Are you hungry?” he asks, and I nod. “Me, too.”
“I had a granola bar for lunch,” I tell him, and his eyes narrow. “I had a meeting with a student, and then I was on duty.”
“I told you to start making a lunch,” he says. “Or we can finally move in together, and I can make you lunch.” I avoid the way he looks at me.
“I told you before,” I start to say. “I don’t think it’s a good idea until we decide where we want to live.”
“I think the first step is for you to pick a date.” He smirks at me.
“Oh, trust me, I know. Your mother keeps bringing me the bridal and wedding magazines once a month with some of the pages folded down for me to look at.” I look around the diner and see how everything has changed in five years. In the beginning, I used to walk in, and everyone would look at me with pity, and the whispers were always the same.
Poor thing is still waiting for him.
Poor thing looks like she hasn’t eaten since he left.
Poor thing will never move on. One doesn’t forget their first love.
“They want to book the country club,” he tells me. “In order to do this, we need to know.”
“What if I wanted to get married in the backyard and have a barbecue reception?” I suggest, and he scoffs.
“Honey, you know that my parents want us to have a huge wedding. I’m their only son,” he says, and I just nod. We place our orders, and I change the subject to talk about his work.
“I have to go out of town,” he says. “My father is hoping to open two more branches in other towns. I might have to be gone for two weeks.”
“That’s a long time. Will you come home on the weekends?” I ask when the plates are placed in front of us. He grabs his burger and bites into it.
“I was hoping that you would come up to see me.” I grab my fork and throw around the salad on my plate.
“It’s almost end of the year,” I tell him. “I have so much to do to prepare, and then you know I like to give extra help to the students who need it.” Something I always wanted when I was a student their age was a teacher who would give her time if she knew I needed help. So, it was a no-brainer once I got my position for the English department.
“You aren’t paid to do that,” he says, and I feel my blood pressure start to rise. In the beginning, he was supportive and would even offer to come and help. As he got busier at work, he slowly started losing his interest in my teaching as he became more involved in himself.