“Do you want us to stay?” Jenna asks, and I look down at the floor.
“No.” I close my eyes. “But I’ll call you if I do.”
“Promise?” she says, and I just nod. I walk to the bedroom and close the door behind me. Taking off the shirt that I put on this morning, I replay the day over and over in my head as the tears fall again. I slip into the shower and the tears mix with the water, and I remember the first time he told me he loved me.
“Sunrise.” He called my name while I walked away from him. It was six months after he finally kissed me. We sat by the tree that night and looked at the stars. The sun had just started coming up, so we got up. He held my hand the whole time he walked me home.
“Yeah,” I said quietly.
“I love you.” He said the words that I’d been secretly telling him every single night. He stopped walking, and I looked at him. I was so head over heels in love with him. “I love you.” He cupped my face.
I tried to hide the smile. “Do you now?”
“I do, Sunrise.” He leaned forward, and right before he kissed me, he said, “Down to the last beat of my heart.”
I get out of the shower and dry off. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror as I slip on pants and a tank top. Walking to the living room, I see that they took the whiskey, but they left food. I walk to the patio door and slide it open, walking into the yard and toward the hammock that I love.
I slip into it as I look up at the stars. The tears don’t stop, they don’t ever stop, and finally, when I see the pink take over the sky, I get up and go inside, making myself a cup of coffee. Sitting on the back stoop, I watch the sky turn from a pink to a purple. I take a sip of the hot coffee and look off into the distance, seeing a figure walking my way. I just sit here, not sure my eyes are right or if I’m imagining that this is happening. He gets closer and closer, and only when he looks up and sees me does his face fill with shock.
“Emily,” he whispers. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” I say. “This is my house.”
“But …” He looks at the house. “This is my mother’s house.”
“No.” I shake my head, my heart racing like a horse at the derby. “It was her house, and then I bought it from her.”
“But,” he says, and I look at him. He looks like he hasn’t slept either. He wears jeans and a T-shirt that clings to his chest. “But this is …”
I stand, hoping that my legs don’t give out on me. “But nothing. You’re trespassing,” I say and turn to walk away from him, and he calls my name again.
“Emily.” I shake my head and blink away the tears, not wanting him to see them.
“Goodbye, Ethan,” I say over my shoulder before walking into the house and locking the door behind me.
Chapter Eight
Ethan
“Goodbye, Ethan.” She says the words so softly, and all I can do is watch her walk into the house and listen as the sound of the lock echoes in the air. The last thing I expected was to find her sitting there when I decided to walk here. When I looked up and saw the redness in her eyes, I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her all the things. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was that I left. I wanted to tell her that no matter what happened, I still loved her with every single part of me. I wanted to tell her that I would talk to her at night while I looked up at the stars. I wanted to tell her that I wished she was there every single day. I wanted to tell her that with everything, the one thing I wish I could take back was leaving her.
Do I regret what I said? Yes, in some ways, I do, but it also made me the man I am today. And I’m proud of that man. I’m proud to serve my country. I look around at my childhood home and wonder why the fuck she bought this house. Why did my mother sell it to her when she always said she was going to keep it? I look at the backyard where I spent time kicking a soccer ball. The trees are so big now, and I spot the hammock. Glancing back at the house, I was thinking back to the time we lay on the grass.