“I never intended for you to feel like that. I never wanted you to feel that way,” I say softly.
“Do you still love him?” he asks. “After all this, after he hurt you so bad, do you still love him?”
“A part of me will never stop loving him.” I’m honest with him. “It’s the same answer I gave you when you asked me to marry you. Nothing has changed. I don’t think anything will ever change that. A part of me will always love him.” I shrug. “I was never dishonest about that.”
“I guess I always hoped you would love me like that,” he says. “I waited and waited.”
“Obviously, the waiting was over,” I say. I take the ring off and walk to him. “This is yours.” I hand it to him, and he shakes his head.
“What are you going to tell people?” he asks, and I want to laugh. He really doesn’t even care that he hurt me. He’s more worried about what I’m going to say.
“What do you want to tell people?” I ask, and he looks down and then up.
“We can say we grew apart.” I nod at him. “I would have loved you with everything I had.”
I look at him. “No, you wouldn’t.” He looks shocked. “If you would have, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You wouldn’t have looked at someone else.” He nods at me and walks out of the house, and just like that, another chapter in my life is over.
Chapter Eighteen
Ethan
I watch him drive away from the backyard, and I’m about to walk up to the door when the lights inside turn off, leaving it in darkness. I sit down and wait to see if she changes her mind, and all I can do is think about how her face was when she found out he was cheating. It was the definition of defeat, her shoulders slumped, and only when he accused her of still loving me did they go up tight again.
I wait another hour, then I finally make myself leave, slipping into bed at close to four a.m. I didn’t think I would be able to fall asleep, but when I did, it was the first night without waking up in a pool of my sweat and the sound of myself screaming.
Walking to the barn to work out, I look up and see that the clouds seem to be coming in faster. I open the barn door, leaving it open to get some air in, and I start to work out. I run to clear my mind, but the only thing going through my mind today is Emily. I wonder if she is okay. Did she sleep last night or did she cry herself to sleep?
I don’t even notice that I’m sweating through my shirt, and when I stop running to take a drink of water, I take it off, tossing it on the mat. My chest is rising and falling as I drink my water and try to get my heartbeat back to normal. I set the water down and look up to see her walking toward the barn. She is wearing tight blue jeans with holes in the knee and a white loose sleeveless shirt tucked in the front and white sneakers. She looks down as she walks over to me, and only when she feels me watching does she looks up. She almost stops in her tracks, but I raise my hand to say hello.
“Hey there,” I say when she is close enough to hear me.
“Hi,” she says, putting her hair behind her ear. “I tried the doorbell, but then I heard the music coming from the barn.”
“That’s fine,” I say, and I see that she’s wringing her fingers. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” she tells me. “I just wanted to come thank you for last night. You didn’t have to do what you did.” She swallows now, and I want to wrap my hand on the side of her neck and pull her to me. She looks down and then up again, and I see that she is looking at my scars. “Are you okay?” She points at the scars on my ribs.
I laugh now. “I mean, I’m as good as new.” She looks at me. “This?” I point at the scar that is fading from an angry purple to pink. “This is where they shot me.”
She gasps. “Who shot you?”
“Um, it’s kind of classified.” I smirk at her. “But they were not good people.”
“I heard that you joined the military,” she says, and I nod my head. “I’m glad you’re safe.”
“Thank you,” I say and bend to pick up my shirt. “Do you want to maybe have coffee?”
“I should go,” she says, but her feet don’t move.
“Are you sure? I was going to make one for myself anyway. How about you sit outside and just relax?” I say, and she walks back with me to the house. She sits outside on the swing hanging under the back porch. I make coffee as fast as the water can come out. The whole time I’m looking outside to see that she is still there. I grab a couple of muffins that my grandmother brought over yesterday. “Em.” I call her name, and she comes in. “I don’t know how you take your coffee. You never drank coffee when we were together.”