Sordid (Sordid 1)

I jerked in Luka’s hold, a physical reaction to his horrifying words. All of his hatred toward his father made terrible sense now and disgust roiled in my belly. Dimitrije had chosen his brother over his own wife, the mother of his children.

I knew the answer, but asked anyway. “When did you find out?”

“Two years ago. After my cousin’s trial, when he was celebrating his last night of freedom before going to prison, he got drunk, and high, and it all came out.” Luka’s hand twitched against my bare skin. “He doesn’t remember telling me.”

“What about Vasilije?”

“He doesn’t know. No one knows I’ve been told the truth.”

I swallowed hard. “Except me now.”

His guarded eyes peered into mine, and he looked sort of pleased to share the secret. Relieved, even.

“And who would you tell?” He’d spoken it like a half-joke, but it was too serious to hear anything but the real question.

Who would I tell? “No one.”

“I can’t tell Vasilije. He idolizes my father, but he loved our mother even more. It’d destroy him.”

So, even though the relationship was strained between the brothers, there was still love there. Luka was trying to protect his younger brother emotionally.

“You asked if I’d ever killed someone.” He settled down so his head was beside mine on the pillow, and his arm on my waist tightened. He was holding me.

My pulse sped. “You said you came very, very close once.”

“I blamed him for her death, even before I knew all of it. And after, I wanted to kill him like I’d never wanted anything in my whole goddamn life.”

The air in the room went thin. Luka took what he wanted, didn’t he? I barely squeaked out the words. “Then why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know.” His uneven breathing ghosted over my skin. “I had the gun, and he didn’t know I was behind him. I thought I was ready, but I . . . I don’t know,” he repeated. “I hesitated. He’s my father.”

I turned my head toward him, and a lock of hair fell in my eyes. He brushed it back, his fingers skimming over my forehead and tucking the hair behind my ear.

“Don’t get any delusions about me being soft,” he said quietly. “I could change my mind and pull that trigger tomorrow.”

I gazed at him. The sharp angles of his sculpted face and serious eyes were beautiful. “No,” I whispered. “Soft isn’t a word I’d use to describe you.”

As if to emphasize my statement, thunder cracked and rumbled, making me jump while he remained unfazed. His gaze was heavy. It trapped me as he closed the tiny space between us and pressed his lips to mine in a slow, seductive kiss.

“Shit,” he whispered. “It’s so fucking late.” His mouth moved against mine lazily. “I need to get some sleep.”

It sounded like a dismissal. I blinked, and pulled back. “Oh. I’ll go.”

He looked pissed at the idea. “No, you won’t. That’s not what I meant.” He curled his arm around my shoulders, but looked uncomfortable with the embrace. It probably felt as foreign to him as it did to me. “You’ll sleep here tonight.”

I wasn’t supposed to want this. I certainly wasn’t supposed to have nervous flutters of excitement about it. He was my captor, controlling all aspects of my life, and had admitted he might be a murderer someday. But as he shifted closer and found a position that was more comfortable for both of us, I couldn’t ignore how I felt. Over the course of one week, my perception of Luka had changed dramatically. We were so similar in other aspects of our lives. Would I have turned out the same as he had if I’d lived his life?

Chapter

Nineteen

Last night had a powerful effect on me, and I was aware I was falling deeper under Luka’s spell. The good news was it seemed to have an impact on him as well. Luka was nearly late for work. When his alarm had woken us both, we’d blinked our sleepy eyes at each other. It was followed immediately by our mutual realization that my arm was around his waist and my leg thrown over one of his.

“You’re really warm,” I said on a hurried breath, scrambling across the sheets to put distance between us. I could claim I was just using him for body heat, but it was a lie.

He chased me across the bed and pinned me down, burying his lips against the side of my neck. He must have known what he did to me, and kissed me that way on purpose. A shiver shook my shoulders.

When he took me all the way to the edge and made me crazy for him to do more than just kissing, when the plea was on my lips, he commanded me to get up and follow him to the shower.