“I… I am not even done with school, Rich. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I am.” I protested as I felt my heart begin to race in my chest.
“It’s just dinner for now. We can talk about the future,” he told me as I rested my head in my hands.
“I don’t know, Rich. I’m just here for Thanksgiving,” I groaned, feeling a headache coming on. I stood and went back into the house for some water, feeling too nauseous for wine any longer. Everyone was in the living room with the kids as I leaned against the counter, sipping the cold liquid.
I looked up as my mother walked inside of the kitchen. She sighed as she came to stand beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist.
“Try to get along with your father. He just wants the best for you,” she told me softly as I closed my eyes.
“He trashed my job, Mom. He wants to tie my life up in a neat little package.” My voice was soft as she remained silent for a moment. She always loved the fact that I was as into writing as much as she’d been, until it became an issue with my dad. She gave it up for him and seemed to want me to do the same.
“Rich is a good man. He’d treat you well,” she said as I sighed.
“I don’t feel anything for him. I want passion in every aspect of my life.” I kept speaking, hoping she’d hear my words. I didn’t think that my loving mom would push me into the mold that everyone else wanted me in. I knew that she didn’t as we made our way to the living room, hiding in a big chair as conversation swirled around me.
CHAPTER TWENTY: Sterling
I ended up falling asleep at Tom’s house. We had a few beers and caught up as I tried to push the thought of my family to the back of my head. I did the right thing and sent Mom a text in the morning, telling her that I was okay. I didn’t want her to worry, but I preferred to avoid Dad as much as possible.
Tom made some coffee, and we settled at the breakfast bar to drink it. He asked about my plans this week and I told him that I wasn’t sure. I wanted to go to Rosie’s and sweep her away from there into our little world again. I hoped that she wasn’t having a hard time at her house. He mentioned that there was a new club in town that I might like, and I nodded. It would be a good opportunity for me to catch up with some friends and get out of the house. After lunch, I reluctantly headed back to my house and parked in the driveway. I noted that Dad was gone when I walked through the garage, relieved that he wouldn’t be giving me shit yet. Mom was in the kitchen on the phone and she pointed to a barstool before holding up a finger. I sighed and sat as she finished talking to who I assume was one of my aunts, turning to face me.
“What was that last night?” She demanded as I rested my head in my hands.
“I just couldn’t handle Dad.” I admitted, not looking at her. Mom loved me, but she was married to him. I also knew that the more grandchildren she had surrounding her, the better.
“He wants what’s best for you. He feels that way about all of you.” She assured me, making me raise my head to look at her.
“I don’t want to meet a girl at the office that I’m working at. I don’t want the white picket fence and kids right now,” I told her as she nodded. “I still have school ahead of me.”
“I just want you home again,” she said as I met her eyes.
“I am not leaving the family, Mom. I’m just going to school. You’ll be busy with Callie and the baby.” I reminded her as she smiled. She was already in love with the idea. “I’ll apologize to her. That was shitty to say to her.”
“Good. I think you hurt her feelings. Watch your language, Sterling.” I smiled as she spoke, knowing that I’d slip up again. We spent the afternoon together catching up, joined by the girls late in the day. They’d been out shopping for the baby and their arms were full of bags of neutral colored things that they showed Mom.
Callie gave me a sour look as she walked some bags to the small room that was going to serve as the nursery at my parent’s house. I cleared my throat as Molly stared me down, waiting for my other sister to come back into the room.