“Yeah,” I nodded slowly before staring at her. “Oh, God.”
“Were you guys careful?” Violet asked as I felt panic setting in.
“I am on the pill. That was enough,” I told myself as much as I did her. “I take it every day. This can’t be anything other than a flu, right?”
“Are you late?” Violet asked as I blinked. My head was throbbing with the idea of considering this. I never paid attention to the dates. I wasn’t having regular sex with condoms before Sterling. They were already short to begin with, so I didn’t do the math.
“Maybe?” I asked as I flashed through the days. Yep. It was over two months ago since I had any semblance of a period.
“Rosie, shit. You might be pregnant.” I closed my eyes and let out a soft cry at the words. “I don’t believe that he didn’t use something with you. Is he even clean?”
“We talked about that and it started out as only one time. I didn’t think… didn’t expect anything like this. What am I going to do?” I asked Violet as she licked her lips.
“I am going to buy a test. There’s no need to freak out if you’re not pregnant. You probably aren’t. The pill is good, and you’ve been so stressed out. I’ll go to the store and we can deal with this properly.” Violet slipped on a hoodie and slipped out of the dorm as I dropped my head on the pillow.
I was nauseous on and off all day.
Most food repulsed me. I didn’t want to go eat with Violet in the cafeteria anymore and merely snacked.
Parts of my body ached that never had before.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Violet was gone for about twenty minutes before she hurried through the door. She dropped a bag on my bed and took a few deep breaths.
“Sterling was there with a friend. I had to practically run to the registers to get out of there before he saw me.” I looked at her with horror in my eyes. “I got away. It’s fine. I picked up three different kinds of tests just to be sure. They look so complex.”
I took them into the bathroom and read the directions, which was basically peeing on a stick. Easy enough. I did that and set them gently on the bathroom counter as I let myself have a panic attack. There is no way that I was pregnant. I’d been so careful about taking my pills every day since Sterling and I decided not to use condoms anymore. It wasn’t like I had a long sexual history, but I wasn’t a virgin. Nothing happened before this.
If I was, my parents would be through with me. This wasn’t part of their future plan, at least not yet. Not with Sterling. If I was, I couldn’t tell him. He was struggling with his own future just like I was. I had a few months to hide this and make a decision, but I wouldn’t have to.
I wasn’t pregnant. It wasn’t an issue.
Violet came into the bathroom when she heard me crying. She glanced down at the tests that nearly screamed that I was fucked and dropped to the floor, pulling me into her arms.
“We’ve got this. We do,” she assured me as I cried against her shoulder.
We made our way to my bed, and I dropped down in shock. I touched my flat stomach in complete disbelief that a baby was in there.
“Have you been with anyone other than Sterling?” Violet asked as I shot her a glare. “I’m just asking. I doubted that you had but we need the facts here, Rosie.” She ran a hand through her hair, cursing softly. “Do you know what you want to do?”
“I just found out. Right now, I want to leave the planet. I can’t even bear with this.” I knew it was rude, but I was too overwhelmed to deal with any of this right now.
“Fair enough,” Violet said softly as she rested on the pillow beside me. “I think we should get you to a doctor. You have that insurance through your dad.”
“I am not risking them finding out. I’ll go somewhere else and pay cash.” I changed the idea, and she wrapped her arm around me. Violet nodded, and we fell quiet.
I managed to discover that orange Vitamin Water made my stomach feel better and bought a case. If I drank it while I was in class, I kept things together pretty well. I was still hell bent on finishing school on a good note despite this horrible change in my life.
I ran into Sterling when I was trying to get some food in the cafeteria one day and stopped as he stared at me.
“Are you okay?” He asked as I licked my lips. It was two weeks after I got the news and it was still painful to think about.