“This has been hard on me, Mom. Not as hard as it is on you, of course. I know that.” I nod to myself before pulling my head back up once more. “I know that you have struggled with this a lot more than me, but I have struggled as well. Seeing the way that David has treated you has had a terrible impact on me. It’s knocked my self-confidence, it’s made me shy and locked away, it’s transformed me and not in a good way.” I suck in a deep breath. “I mean, I’m trying to climb out from under David’s awful shadow right now, but when something like this happens… well, it makes me see that neither of us will ever be free until he’s locked up for good and he can’t get to you. You will always be a shell of your former self forever and I will never be able to relax. That isn’t a way to live, Mom. If you can’t leave David for yourself, then can you do it for me? Please? I don’t care what it takes, but I need you away from him. I won’t be able handle you going back to him. I just can’t see it. Please, Mom.”
I break down once more, the pressure of all of this is getting to me. Unfortunately, I have seen the same vicious cycle too many times to believe that my mother will be able to say goodbye to David for good. He always does terrible things, then manages to win her forgiveness afterwards. It’s awful. But this time, if she doesn’t walk away then she will end up dead. He will kill her, there is absolutely no doubt about it. She won’t make it out alive.
“Se… Serena…” All of a sudden, my mother’s voice stuns me to the core. She sounds groggy as if she is still in pain, but it’s her voice at long last. She is awake, thank goodness. “Serena, you’re here. You came for me.”
Immediately, as soon as I spot her open eyes, I wrap my arms around her and embrace her with all the love that I feel inside. I have always adored my mother, even when she hasn’t been strong, and finally without David leaning over us I can set that free. I can finally be the daughter that I have always wanted to be.
“Of course I came for you, Mom. As soon as you called me, I got a ride to see you. That was so scary…”
“I’m so sorry.” Her tone is cracking, the emotion is getting to her as well, I can hear it. “I’m sorry that I called you, I just didn’t know what else to do. I was stuck. I shouldn’t have brought you into this mess any more than you already have been. I made you grow up in this hell, I shouldn’t have taken you from your escape.”
“Mom, what are you talking about?” I gasp desperately. “I want you to call me. I want to help you… I just don’t ever want to see you like that again. That was the hardest thing ever. I thought… I thought…”
I can’t tell her that I thought she was dead, but I think that she reads between the lines and understands it anyway. She nods slowly with a few tears dripping down her cheeks as the impact of this hits her.
“He has been getting worse, Serena. He has been unbearable. I can’t keep being scared of him, it’s too much for me now. I have spent far too long living in sheer terror and I can’t stand it anymore. I need to get out.”
“Are you serious?” I stiffen up, too afraid to really accept this answer. “Because I don’t want you to say it now and later go back to him. I can’t hack that, it will be too much for me. I can’t see you with him again, I can’t.”
“I know, and I won’t make that happen. I won’t allow it. I won’t put you through it anymore.” Mom smiles weakly at me. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it for myself, but for you I will do anything, my girl. I’m more just… just…” I hate seeing her choked up like this. I take her hand in mine. “I feel so bad for everything that I have put you through, Serena.”
“Mom, I don’t want you to worry about the past now,” I tell her firmly. “If you get lost in guilt then it will derail you. The past has happened, there isn’t anything that we can do about it. But the future we can change. If you can really get yourself away from that man, then everything will be forgiven.” She doesn’t look convinced. “Mom, come and see my life when you get out of here. Come and see how well I’m doing. I honestly don’t need you to worry anymore, it hasn’t affected me so badly that I haven’t been able to grow. I am doing pretty well for myself.”