It would never be easy but we couldn’t give up. We had to be tough with it. We had to stay hard and focused.
“Ok,” I said as I approached Zion after she only hit three out of eight shots on the target. “You are jerking your hand when you pull the trigger. You have to keep the hand very steady. I don’t know if it’s just a reflex in connection with the nerves or what. But you’ve got to keep it steady. Now, let’s try again.”
She sighed and lined up the sight again with the target. I made sure she spread her legs a bit, held a strong stance, knees slightly bent, and arms not completely locked out using both hands. “Try again,” I said.
She took a deep breath, aimed, and began to fire. She fired off eight shots. After she was done and the smoke cleared I looked at the target. It was all right in the center. I smiled and looked over at her. “Check that out. Great job.”
She nodded and we slapped a high five together.
After we trained for a few more hours, we decided to go back inside and have dinner. I went to work making a huge pizza from scratch. I love pizza. I’ve always been a junk food fan. If I didn’t work out and train so much I would definitely be fat.
“Wow, this is fantastic,” Zion said as she bit into the cheesy pizza. She moaned with delight. I had to agree that it was in fact very good.
“Well, it might be our last night alive, so we might as well eat something good.”
She looked at me with fear in her eyes. I nodded. “I wish I was joking, but you know it very well could be the last night we spend alive. That’s something you have to prepare for even if we are doing everything possible to avoid such a thing.”
“I know. But do you have to keep mentioning it, or even making light of it?”
“I’m sorry. I guess it’s how I handle things. I like to make jokes and it helps me process dangerous things better.”
“I understand that. Whatever works for you. I’m not sure I’ve found my particular way of dealing with it.”
“You overanalyze. That’s your thing, but I think it has the opposite effect. It doesn’t calm you down. It doesn’t really help anything. Or does it?”
She sighed. “It does and it doesn’t. I guess it helps me process something, but it also just drives me into a whirlwind of emotions. I guess that makes me feel better overall. I am working on some healthier ways.”
“Good,” I said. “Good. Because tomorrow you are going to need to keep your mind as sharp as you can. Hell, it could even happen tonight. These guys think we are alone and defenseless. They have no idea the firepower that awaits them if they try to mess with us.”
“You seem so sure of yourself. Is that just because of your experience?”
“Yeah, I think. A lot of it stems from that. I had a rough childhood so I had to learn to think fast and I had to be strong. I had to be ready for anything and no matter how bad the bad things were that got me on occasion, I still found that knowing I could stand up to it always made it easier. So, by gradually practicing this skill it started to build up inside of me and grow better. It teaches you a lot having to rely on yourself at a young age, so I’m not sorry for it.”
“I admire that, the way you were able to stand up to the adversity and just white knuckle through it.”
“Thanks,” I replied.
“What happens after we get through this?”
“Well, whatever we want. We get back to living our lives.”
“But what does that mean now for us?”
I tried to hold back the groan. I loved this woman but she kept thinking too much about us as a couple. That wasn’t a bad thing, but it was distracting right now. This was not the most important thing we should have had ourselves concerned with at the moment.
“Well, I think it means whatever we want it to mean. Personally, I want to see us move forward and watch this thing we have going blossom and prosper. I think it’s pretty amazing. I never thought it would happen for me, a love like this, but it has. I’ve found that in you. I hope you feel the same about me.”
“I do,” she said. “I really do. I am just so happy to hear you talking that way. I didn’t think you wanted this. I thought you’d go running for the hills the second you started to feel something.”
“You think I’m that afraid of my feelings?”
“You’re a man, aren’t you?”