She didn’t look his way. “Yes, we are.”
A pause. She felt his rage building. Then she heard him curse again. The door slammed. She and Bram were finally alone. Anka clasped her hands together to keep them from visibly shaking.
Bram raised a brow at her. “Certainly you can see that you fighting with us will present obstacles.”
“I’m determined. That bastard Mathias took everything from me. My life, my mate, my dignity, my sense of security. He tortured me. He tortured Lucan. I deserve revenge.”
“The Doomsday Brethren isn’t here for your personal vendetta.”
The truth stung. “You need more wands, both to destroy him and bring about Morganna’s demise. You need strong magic and fighters who will not waver when things become difficult. I’ve already endured the worst Mathias can give me. He can’t possibly hurt me more.”
“Is that what you think?” Bram challenged.
“I think you can’t afford to be picky. You must contend with two of the most evil villains to ever disgrace magickind, and you think to fight them with six wizards of varying abilities and a human? Really?” She cut Bram with a skeptical stare. “At the very least, I think you need to consider that Tynan’s death leaves a hole among the ranks that I could fill.”
Bram hesitated. “As long as we understand that the greater good of the mission and magickind comes before your revenge, I’ll let you in.”
She cocked her head at him. “You were always going to accept me, weren’t you?”
A smile played at his lips. “Probably. I had to hear you argue your side to see if you were dedicated enough to take the hard work this will require.”
“Sneaky bastard.” She smiled. It was hard to stay mad at Bram.
“I’ve heard that before,” he drawled. “I’ve got a few conditions before I’ll allow you to join this fight, however.”
And this was where Bram could truly trip her up. He was a master negotiator, and all she wanted was to jump in and rip out Mathias’s throat now. “What?”
“You must appear every morning with the sun for training. You’ll learn to fight in every way Marrok and I insist. You’ll stay each day until we release you. No complaints. It’s hard, sweaty work, and this is no time to worry about your hair.”
“I’m not vain,” she protested.
“No,” he agreed. “But I guarantee you’ll never work harder in your life. Marrok is relentless, and I encourage it. We don’t have the advantage of a bigger fighting force or the element of surprise. We have to be better prepared.”
“I’ll be here every day, as long as you need me to be.”
“What will Shock say to that?”
“Nothing. I moved out. I don’t even think he knows it. Sabelle said I could adopt a spare bedroom here.”
“No. That’s another condition. You return to Shock.”
“What?” She would have thought that Bram would applaud her for leaving a man no one liked or trusted.
“You’re going to need energy far more frequently. He’ll give it to you.”
Anka hesitated. She remembered those first few days after the formation of the Doomsday Brethren. Lucan had returned home from Marrok’s drills completely exhausted. He’d tumbled her into bed every evening, spending hours working her body into a sweet froth of need, then making love to her until they’d both been brimming and smiling. They’d fallen asleep in exhaustion, curled up around one another. Those had been some troubling days, but ones of great personal happiness, so filled with Lucan and his need for her.
The smile that had crept over her face faded. Now she was going to join the fight, expend the energy to train—and she would need to replenish her energy as frequently as Lucan once had. Did he still require that much energy? She winced at the pain of that thought.
“I’ll find a surrogate.” Though she found that thought distasteful, too. Letting some strange wizard paw her… Unlike most of her kind, she’d only ever taken two lovers. Shock had been her first, had seen her though the transition into magic, and cared for her until she’d mated with Lucan. After Mathias’s brutal, repeated assault and a hundred years of mating, she didn’t know how she’d accept another wizard’s touch.
Bram shook his head. “Whatever Shock’s issues, he’ll keep you safe when you’re not here. I don’t have the resources or energy to expend worrying about you alone at night or with some strange wizard who might deliver you up to Mathias. I might hate Shock, but he’d never want to see you hurt. Besides, I know Shock is capable of giving you what you need.”
Anka swallowed. If Bram only knew the half of it… Shock not only gave her what she needed—and now craved in order to cleanse her soul—but he wielded it like a weapon, doling it out sparingly, withholding it until she caved into whatever his demands of the moment were and she begged sweetly. No surrogate could give her what Shock could. They’d probably be horrified if she asked.
If she wanted to fight Mathias and get her revenge, she would have to swallow her pride.
“All right, then. I’ll return to Shock.”
“I’ll allow you to train with us. As to whether you fight…that will be up to me, Marrok, and whoever teaches you. If we think you’re not ready, you’ll stay behind. This isn’t a democracy.”
Nothing with Bram ever was. She’d have to earn the right to fight. “No coddling me because I’m female or because I’m your best friend’s former mate.”
He smiled. “No mercy asked, no mercy given.”
Anka sent him a sharp nod, and Bram looked her over. She was aware of her demure beige skirt, delicate heels, silk blouse, riot of curls. Without a word, he cataloged everything wrong with her wardrobe and general appearance.
“I’ll be dressed in something appropriate.”
He nodded as if that was a given. “And come with energy. If you’re not ready, you’re out.”
Energy. From Shock. Tonight. Right, then.
Bram stared with a raised brow, and it took Anka a moment to realize that she’d been dismissed. She turned and made her way off of Bram’s estate, then teleported back to the one place—to the one man—she dreaded having to beg again. But she had no doubt Shock would make her plead for everything he gave her. And he’d enjoy the hell out of it. Tears fell as she opened his door.
~ ~ ~ ~
The summons to join Bram in his office had come not a moment too soon. Lucan had been ready to lose his mind. What the hell had Bram said to Anka?
Before he could confront his friend, the rest of the Doomsday Brethren filed in, many joined by their mates. Olivia curled up on Marrok’s lap on a sofa in the corner, the human warrior no doubt enjoying a rare opportunity to touch her in the middle of the day. Ice filed in, holding Sabelle’s hand. She looked pink and flushed and deliriously happy. Envy pierced Lucan—and a strange relief. He wanted what they had, but was glad that Sabelle had refused to mate with him after Anka had been lost. The move would have been politically expedient, yes. It would have helped magickind. But they would have made one another miserable.
Raiden and Ronan both filed in with a fist bump for him.
“Where are Kari and Tabitha?” he asked.
“Kari is at The Witch’s Brew, preparing for the Friday night crowd,” said Ronan, the woman’s mate, of the bar she owned and ran in London.
“And Tabby isn’t feeling well. I think the youngling growing inside my she-cat is already giving her hell.”
“It will serve you right if it’s a girl,” Ronan snickered to his twin.
Raiden punched his brother’s shoulder a bit harder than playfully. Bram broke it up by clearing his throat and sending them a pointed look.
Duke led Felicia in. He propped his length against the wall, drew his lovely wife’s back to his chest, and whispered something in her ear that made her blush. Finally, his own brother strolled in with his mate, fiery-haired Sydney. The couple’s eyes met and held, and Lucan could actually feel the love flowing between them. It was tender and passionate and so thick it damn near choked him.
He’d had that once. But he hadn’t protected Anka. Now she was lost to him forever, warming that motherfucker Shock’s bed. He had no one to blame but himself. Of course she’d be terrified to come home to the man who had failed her. In her shoes, he’d avoid himself, too.
That fact hurt like hell.
Caden and Sydney stood beside him, a silent show of support. She cupped his shoulder. “You know I love you, but you look ghastly.”
No doubt. Anka’s visit here had truly riled his temper. How could he want someone so badly who had chosen to give herself and her love to one of the worst wankers ever to disgrace magickind? Who had chosen his rival, his enemy?
“Thanks, Syd. I can always trust you to sugarcoat things.” He smiled wryly.
“That’s my mate.” Caden slipped an arm around her waist.
“Thank you for coming so quickly,” Bram said to everyone. “And thanks to you lovely ladies for being here on short notice. We have several situations you should know about. I’ll need to ask you for help.”
“You don’t have to ask,” Olivia assured, still perched on Marrok’s lap.
“Of course not, brother.” Sabelle smiled from Ice’s embrace. “We’ll help however we can.”
“I’ll hold you to that. It may be dull work, indeed. But I need you to pour through every one of Merlin’s tomes and any Morganna folklore you can. It may not only mean the difference between life and death, but between our civilization and extinction.”
Beside him, Sydney sucked in a breath. “Of course we’re going to help.”
Lucan only wished that Anka wanted to assist their cause in that capacity. But no. She wanted to fight. He could only hope that Bram had refused her.
“I daresay, with stakes that high, even these big wizards wouldn’t object to cracking a book,” Sabelle murmured.
“Normally, yes. But we’ll have other pressing matters,” Bram corrected. “According to Shock, Mathias regrets Morganna’s resurrection and can’t put the bitch down by himself. We’ve been asked to help.”
“Is he fucking serious?” Ice growled, his nearly-shaved head giving his hollow cheeks an even starker, angrier appearance.
Bram sighed. “Yes. I didn’t give him an answer yet. I want to see what we can do without his ‘help’ first. So if you ladies will search, we’ll keep training and start scouting for Morganna’s location. If we can get to her when she’s resting, powering up, somehow vulnerable…”
Bram didn’t finish the sentence, but Lucan could finish it for him. Even if they managed to find Morganna, she wasn’t going to be put down easily. Finding her might just be their death sentence.
“You’re seriously going to trust information coming from the bastard who recently killed one of our own?” Caden challenged him, then looked at Lucan. “Who took my brother’s mate and—”
“I know. But it’s not as if we can’t read about Morganna’s exploits ourselves.” Bram reached behind him and picked up the latest copies of The Sun and Out of This Realm. “Her antics are front-page news. She is dangerous and doesn’t seem to care if she exposes us all to humankind. That cannot happen, no matter what the cost.”
No one argued with that. No one could.
“And we’re still one less warrior since Mathias killed Tynan,” Bram pointed out.
“He’s ready for burial,” Sabelle said sadly. “I’ve contacted his younger brother, Asher. He should be here soon. He’s asking questions about the Council and the Doomsday Brethren.”
“I’ll deal with him,” Bram promised. “But as I’ve said, we’re still a fighter short and—”
“Anka is not replacing him.” Lucan had only meant to think the words, but they came out in a roar. Suddenly, he was inches from Bram’s face, and Caden was holding him back with a tight grip.
“Down, brother.” Caden jerked on his arm.
Inside, he was seething, ready to beat Bram to a bloody pulp. Instead, he stood and dragged in huge breaths, trying to get his temper under control.
“And you wonder why I think you’re not quite ready to fight?” Bram raised a brow.
Lucan bristled. Damn it, he hated feeling this on edge, off balance. Ever since Anka... No. He shoved the thought away. She was gone. Blaming her for his lack of self-control was foolish.
Finally, he rocked back on his heels and unclenched his fists. Slowly, Caden let go.
Bram’s expression softened. “I appreciate that this is hard for you. I love Anka like a sister, but I’ve spoken to her. She knows the risks. She’s agreed to the conditions I’ve attached. If Marrok, her trainer, and I think she can’t function as a fighter, she never makes it into battle.”