Love.
The idea of this woman giving her heart to me is both reassuring and terrifying. I would never mean to, but what if I’m a thoughtless jackass and I break it? She’s giving me something precious. I have to figure out how to not fuck it up. The fact that I have no clue terrifies me all over again.
I shake as I try to rein in more sobs. But stopping them seems pointless now, so I’m rolling with it. Not like I have a choice…
Her lips press against my temple. She breathes over to my forehead. I have to bend down so she can reach me, but the effort is worth the payoff, especially when she eases back to look into my eyes. “Better?”
Yes and no. It’s confusing. “I don’t know.”
She sends me a smile of soft understanding. “That’s honest.”
“Why are you here for me? Why do you give a shit what happens to me? I’ve been an inconsiderate asshole. I’ve tried to make you do things that go against your grain.”
“Don’t forget that you’ve consistently tried to get me into bed, too. But under all that, I see you. Not the cocky but likable douchebag you project to everyone else. I see the boy who was neglected and hurt, so he never learned to trust his heart. I see the man dying for someone to not only care for him but give him undying devotion. And love. He’s strong…but he’s so afraid to ask for what he needs most.”
I choke out a groan and drop my forehead to hers. “I sound pathetic.”
“I could call you a lot of things. That’s not one of them.” She brushes her hand through my hair. “Maxon?”
I hear the shift in her voice. It beckons me to search her face again. I see not just tenderness there. I see invitation.
“Yeah.”
“In case it’s escaped your notice, I’m naked. I want to be with you.” She caresses her way down my nape. “Make love to me.”
My heart stops. Is she serious right now? I’ve waited and ached for Keeley for interminable days and endless nights. And she wants me when I’m sniffling, red-eyed, and too raw to have a filter?
It’s official: I will never understand women. But I’m grateful for this one.
“You sure?” I croak out.
Keeley smiles at me, nothing but assurance in her big blues. “You’ve been trying to hustle me into bed for nearly three weeks, and now you’re hesitating?”
“I want you to be sure.”
“I don’t have a single doubt.”
That’s all I need to hear.
Keeley believes in the concept of soul mates. I never have…but I’m wondering if they’re real and if she’s mine.
I bend and lift her against my body, cradling her in my arms. She wraps herself around me, curling her legs about my hips. The glance we share steals my breath.
I can’t stay away from her for another second, so I plunge into her mouth. Tonight, she’s mine, and I want her to feel it. I’m thrilled when she melts against me with a moan.
Though I’m drowning in her taste, I somehow manage to stumble through the maze of the kitchen and foyer. I’m thankful I keep my living room uncluttered. When I hit the threshold to my room, I have a clear path to the bed.
With one hand, I tear the duvet down. Pillows topple and scatter. Pristine white sheets beckon. I lay Keeley in the center of the bed.
She looks perfect because she belongs here. I’ve fantasized about having her in my bed so many times, rolling to me in the night for pleasure, cuddled up to me in the morning for warmth. But she’s looking at me now as if she wants all that and more. She wants the things I’ve never been willing to give anyone—my heart, my soul, my promises of tomorrow.
A week ago, I doubted I’d ever be capable of giving anyone all that. Now I’m seriously considering whether I could share every moment with her and—maybe for the first time ever—be happy.
I brace above her, drinking in her beauty. I have no idea how she saw past my inner asshole and decided she likes me, anyway. The only explanation is that I got lucky.
Her fingers climbing up my arms and curling around my shoulders distract me from thinking. When she winds her hands around my neck and tugs me down, I don’t fight the urge to plaster myself over her bare body and sink into her mouth again. As my naked chest settles against hers, I groan.
In the past, women have felt good. Women have felt dirty. Women have never simply felt right.
Keeley does.
I lose myself in her. She’s sweet and soft and open beneath me. Her thighs part, and I slide between them, deeply resenting my pajama bottoms. I could shove them aside, reach into my nightstand for a condom, and be inside her in less than sixty seconds if I want. Which I do…but I don’t.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had time to think about all the ways I wish I’d touched and taken Keeley that first night. I’m not letting this opportunity pass me by. Yes, I want what I want when I want it—and I’m determined to get it this time. But I also want her to be dizzy and dazzled. I want to give her everything she could ever yearn for in a lover. That means I can’t go about this like an impatient shithead again.
I tangle my tongue with hers, losing myself in the sway of our rhythm. Then I ease back, press a kiss to her mouth, brushing my lips over hers before I lean away. She groans and tries to pull me down again.
“One second, sunshine. Trust me. I’m not going anywhere.”
It’s too dark, so I flip on the light. I want to see her. Once I do, I blow out an amazed breath at the soft glow beaming across her bare skin. Then I reach into the nightstand with one hand while shucking my pants with the other.
Keeley smiles at me and crooks her finger my way with a come-hither glance.
She won’t get an argument from me.
I knee my way between her legs again. She welcomes me without hesitation, and I set the foil packet aside. It’s within reach when I’m ready…but that won’t be for a while.
Because for the first time in my sexual life, the goal of tonight isn’t pleasure, it’s connection.
Shit. Do I even know how to do that? I’m good at sex, but I don’t know the first fucking thing about joining more than bodies.
“What’s wrong?” she whispers.
I can’t tell her that I’m lost. I’ll sound stupid and dickless. Inept.
“Sunshine, tell me how to give you what you want. I want to do this right for you.”
Her face softens. Then she curls her fingers around my hand and brings it to her breast. She caresses my chest in return. “Just touch me. Be with me. Let it flow from here.”
Keeley makes it sound so simple, like all I have to do is close my eyes and breathe.
Does it have to be more complicated than that?
I’m certainly willing to give it a try. The alternative is to hang around with my dick in my hand, staring at her like I’m stupid. Um…no. Not happening.
Instead, I cradle her flesh, thumb her nipple, and bend to take her rosy lips under mine. They’re already slightly swollen and so fucking soft. She meets me halfway, eyes half-dazed, arms winding around me. As we join mouths, I delve deep. We share breaths. She arches into my palm. Her legs wrap around me. I feel her heat, sense the excitement skidding through her.
“Maxon…” she moans.
I press my forehead to hers to catch my breath. Normally,