moment she realizes her safety net is gone.
She draws in a bracing breath and gestures me toward the gate.
I turn stubborn and shake my head. “I want to see my son now.”
“He’s asleep, and I won’t wake him. And you were not invited to my engagement party. Don’t ruin this for me.”
I glance around. People are staring, and the party is beginning to break up. My first instinct is to press Britta further, but her voice is trembling again. I can tell she wants to nudge me toward the gate but doesn’t dare touch me.
The me of three years ago would have pounced on her weaknesses and used them to turn her inside out until she gave me what I wanted. My old man taught me to cue into others’ emotions and manipulate them to achieve the ends I sought. The me who’s finally learned some empathy senses that Britta needs me to back down for the night. If I don’t ease up, she’ll only be more resistant in the future. Besides, I have an hour’s drive home and an early meeting tomorrow morning. Tactical retreat is in my best interest.
I’m in her head. I’ve planted the seed that I’m back and I’m not going away. I’ll let her stew on that knowledge.
“All right,” I relent. “I’ll go.”
Britta’s wary expression tells me she’s looking for the catch. “Really?”
I pluck my keys from my pocket. “Yes.”
For now.
Her visible relief makes me feel vaguely guilty. “Thank you.”
She knows I’m showing her mercy. She should also know that I may not show much more of it until I’m a part of my son’s life.
I wonder if she has any idea that same concept applies to her? Certainly not yet, but she will.
“Britta, let’s be clear. I don’t want to take the boy from you. I don’t want to upend his world. I simply want to be a part of it. We’re starting while he’s young. I’ll ease into his life a little at a time, whatever is easiest and best for him. I think you and I should meet tomorrow, maybe for a drink after work to discuss—”
“No.”
“You’re not free then?”
“I won’t be free ever again. I’m engaged.”
That fact torques my gut. “When did that happen?”
She looks down, away. “I said yes about four hours ago. Makaio called everyone, and they surprised me with the banner and food and…”
Fuck.
“I’m not asking you on a date,” I bite out. “I’m asking you to sit down so we can be adults and discuss our son.”
“If you really want what’s best for Jamie, you’ll vanish. He’s a little boy and he won’t understand your sudden role in his life. Makaio will be a good father. Go back to your twenty-hour workdays, your meaningless flings”—she marches out the gate and lays eyes on my deeply impractical two-door sports convertible with a scoff—“and your bachelor-pad sports car and disappear again. We’re all better off that way.”
“You will never convince me that my son is better off without me.”
The front door creaks open. Makaio and his sister make their way outside. He eyes me the entire time he’s escorting her to a beat-up sedan. Then a few more people pour out the door, clearly the in-laws to be. Neighbors head out next, wandering toward their houses. Everyone is staring. I curse. Everything else I want to say will have to wait. This isn’t the time. With an audience isn’t the place.
I lean in, close to her ear, trying to ignore the hint of jasmine that always clings to her and drives me mad. “I will not go away because it’s convenient for you. And I won’t leave you alone simply because I hurt you or you don’t like the way I rattle you, Britta. I’m back. And I’m never leaving again.”
CHAPTER TWO
“How did it go last night?” Maxon asks me early the next morning.
Funny how natural it feels to resume the habits we shared three years ago, like checking in first thing each day. As I got on the stationary bike for a spin at six thirty, I rang him. He picked up right away, obviously already getting aerobic himself.
Now I hesitate replying. Once, Maxon was the person I trusted most. Well, as much as I trusted anyone. I know now he didn’t do me wrong and I utterly overreacted. Keeley and I have talked a lot about trying to believe the best in people, rather than assuming the worst. She keeps telling me I have to take a leap of faith if I ever want to be happy.
Trusting my own brother seems like a good place to start in learning how to jump. Besides, I owe him.
“Disastrously.” I fill him in on the reunion, including the reason for Britta’s impromptu party.
“What are you going to do?”
Is he really asking me this? As if he doesn’t have the same instincts? “What would you do?”
“Well…” Maxon pauses again. “Keeley is always telling me I should listen and empathize and—”
“Let’s be real here.”
Maxon sighs as if he hates to admit the truth. “If I had a son I wanted to know by a woman I was estranged from? I’d figure out how to ingrain myself in every level of her life until I wore her down and she gave me what I wanted.”
“Bingo.”
“I’d be calling an attorney to find out what my rights are and how to exercise them fully.”
“I’ve already left him a voice mail,” I assure my brother.
“I’d also be learning her schedule.”
“Yep. I plan to work on that today. In fact, I’ll be quizzing you later.”
“Every time I saw her, I’d insist that I want to meet my son.”
I nod. “That goes without saying.”
“Then, I guess that’s it—if all you want is to have Jamie in your life.” He pauses. “But you want more. You want the woman.”
“Of course I do. What would you do in that case?”
When he hesitates, I wince. I probably hit a sore spot. I have no doubt he feels lost without Keeley.
“In your shoes, I’d do everything humanly possible to separate Britta from Makaio.”
I grin. “I’m already thinking of a strategy.”
“But I’m trying to think less like a cutthroat bastard and more like a reasonable human being,” he says as he breathes through his run. “For Keeley.”
“I get that. I’m just not convinced the Mr.-Nice-Guy thing will work. I’ll try, but I’m prepared to be more…persuasive if she won’t listen.”
“I think relentless might be a better term.”
“Probably. I walked out on Britta when she was pregnant. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know. What she remembers is that I left her to give birth alone. Now, I have to convince her how badly I want Jamie. I also have to give her opportunities to see me as something other than the enemy. Once she’s reassured of that, I’ll start working with her on us.”
I would prefer to claim both of them simultaneously. If she thinks she’s marrying Makaio, I have to change her mind and her heart. On the other hand, I know Britta. If I press her too hard too fast for something more than co-parenting, she’ll shut me down. She doesn’t trust me at all. I have to fix that, and it will take time. But I also can’t let her believe I’m only back in her life for Jamie’s sake. Which leads me to something I’ve been thinking…
“You know, for the duration of the Stowe contract, I think you and I should work really closely together. In fact, we should work out of the same office.”